Need opinions

[AveryG]

So I have been with my SO for nearly 10 yrs and we have a 1 yr old daughter. Our relationship was always great until he started playing computer games. I played them as well but not like him. He started blowing me off and ignoring me. I got bored and ending up having an emotional affair, he found out and try everything he could to get me to stay. I stayed and things would be great for a few months before he fell back into game world. This has happen twice. The last time was about 2 yrs ago and right as we were breaking up we found out I was pregnant. Now 2 yrs later here we are again, only this time we took a week break while he visited his family. He comes back in the morning and I dread it. I enjoyed being alone and I want to be alone. I guess I am just wanting opinions on how to end it on as good of terms as I can for our daughters sake. He is a very over emotional person and gets mad easily so I am trying to go Bout this on the most mature way possible.

[pisces25]

If it is was me for the children's sake I would get him into couple's counselling first. You seem ready to give it all up over this, are you sure it is just the game-playing that is annoying you or is that your excuse to get out?

[kageri]

Addiction to games like to many other things comes from certain needs not being fulfilled. If you solve why there is a need to play games it goes away. Some games it's just to occupy the mind, sometimes it's for the social aspect of an mmo, and sometimes it's to live in a fantasy world and forget the real world. Does he lack friends? Hobbies? Is there a lot of stress? Like all addictions it can be seen as an illness that needs intervention but the excessive game playing will not stop until you replace it with something that fulfills the same needs or make the real world less stressful so a fantasy world is not needed. Of course to help someone you have to first make them realize it's a problem and get them to admit it. Then if they want to change you look in to what behaviors could replace the addiction and if necessary counseling. If someone doesn't want to fix a problem you can't force them and it's time to leave.

[lahnnabell]

You're probably going to have to give him an ultimatum. "We attempt couple's counseling or I leave altogether." I think you should plan on staying with a friend or family for a bit too. If he's overly emotional and throws tantrums, your girls don't need to be around that. Perhaps ask a friend to sit for you while you deliver the ultimatum that way the girls don't have to detail with the potential of him flying off the handle. Trying to get them out of the house while he's flipping out will be a nightmare.

Does this guy have a job? Does he spend any time at all helping you take care of the kids? Or does he work, come home, take off pants and flutter off to another planet?

[devonbrown]

I agree that couples' counseling seems appropriate first. It doesn't sound like you two have dealt with your issues, just pushed them aside for a little bit. You need outside assistance to find out why he is retreating into game world.
AND, you need to take responsibility for your own actions. You admit to an emotional affair, but it sounds like you blame your SO for it. That is a cheap cop out. You cheated because you wanted to. Plain and simple. If you weren't happy, and you wanted to be happy with your SO, it was on you to try to make it work. Instead, you ran to someone else. Take responsibility for your part in this as well.

I am not trying to be unfair here. If you have tried everything and it is time for the relationship to end, then so be it. It is always going to hurt when a relationship ends. There is no way to avoid it. But from what you wrote, it does seem to me that you are just using his actions as an excuse for you to get out.