It's understandable that she is having a hard accepting the fact that you are in Iraq especially after she had lost a friend in the war. Also, her friends and family didn't help either, only make matter worse.
The only thing I can suggest now is that you should try spend all of your time talking to her so she can spend less time listening to her friend's nonsense belief and discouragement.
She seems to love you very much but she just has a lot of distractions right now. You can make her understand that she has to be calm and patient to wait for you to come back. If you keep worrying about her well-being like this, you are bound to make mistakes, and mistakes can be fatal in the war. May be this way she will understand and calm down a bit for you to focus on your work.
Good luck,
Hope you come back safely to your family
Sherry needs to review the policies for advertising other relationship advice sites on LF, doesn't she?