Should i dump him??

[L_92]

Hey everyone thought i would join a forum as i feel totally lost and can't talk to friends or family anymore coz i think they are just getting bored of hearing it!

Basically i have been with my boyfriend for just over 2 years and i do really love him even though i am only 17. BUT he has been unemployed since last july and he is 19 this year and lives on his own so i am the one who has to support and constantly make sure he is ok. I go to college 5 days a week studying maths biology english and law and also work at the weekend so i have to do all this as well as looking after him. I feel as if i am his mother not his girlfriend!! I have spoken to him about it quite a few times now and each time he promises he will try harder but he tries for about a week and then goes bak to doing nothing. I have even broken up with him the weekend before last to show him i am serious and thought he really would try this time but he has not gone out and looked for a job a single day this week.

He has always said he wants to eventually go in the raf but i feel there would be no point us being together if he goes there as i would never see him and i don't want to have a boyfriend who is not there when i am only 17 and supposed to be having fun!

Also i always ask him if he wants to go into town to pubs (i know i am underage but there is really nothing else to do) and he always makes excuses not to go out with me but happily spends the little money he has in pubs with his friends.

I do really love him but i cannot carry on like this because it really is getting me down and i feel as if i am looking after him constantly with no appreciation on his part. i have no idea what else i can do but i feel i have no choice but to break up with him as he never changes!

Any comments would be so useful as i really do feel lost!!

[alovehangoverr]

I think you know what you have to do-- end it for good.

You've given him numerous chances for him to fix what's wrong with his life, go out with you, etc.. and it never changes. The fact that you broke up with him and that didn't spark any change at all should be a clear sign to you that it just isn't going to happen.

If he's happy being unemployed and not doing anything with his life, then let him do it. It really sounds like you guys just want different things-- he has little ambition, and you have plenty [with school/work/etc.]

You said it yourself-- you're 17 and supposed to be having fun.. not playing mother to someone who is older than you and should be taking care of himself.

[lahnnabell]

Agreed with the above statement!

I just got out of a long-term relationship with a guy who is 25 and still hasn't figured out how to take care of himself. I grew tired of playing mommy 'cause I have my own life to take care of too.

No shame in that. Best of luck.

[somethingelse]

i with everyone esle. dump him. it would be one thing if he was trying or at least going out with you instade of going to the pubs with his friends. he needs to grow up alittle

[denfor25]

you are a wonderful girl; patient and thoughtful, you gave him several changes but he does not learn; he is ashamed to go with you means he does not respect you; he allows a younger girl to look after himself means he does not respect himself; dump him; end of story; you deserve a better man!

[Sunshimmer]

I think you should move on. You are giving and he is taking without giving back. That's not a good relationship.
Good luck

[L_92]

Thanks everyone still don't know what to do, i know its the right and sensible thing to break it off but its really hard...everytime i think i've made a decision i change my mind! Hopefully i can figure out what i want soon. Thanks for replying everyone!

[stbmrs]

Not having read anything i'm going to say probably....

Now having read what you say i will stick to that, actually i will change it to yes. In my experience a man who doesn't want to work doesn't want to work. This guy sounds like a lazy loser to me

[denfor25]

Thanks everyone still don't know what to do, i know its the right and sensible thing to break it off but its really hard...everytime i think i've made a decision i change my mind! Hopefully i can figure out what i want soon. Thanks for replying everyone!

so you either too sensitive to end the relationship; or your motherly instinct (as built-in you as you grew up in your family) is too strong to let him go; in a first case it is a matter of time and frustration; in a second case - he actually might be fine for you, the question is, WHAT DO YOU REALLY WANT?

[misombra]

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nxHcx7FO8nI&feature=PlayList&p=77422642D4A 713AF&index=0&playnext=1"]YouTube - The Specials - Too Much Too Young[/ame]