why is he like that??? pls give me your opinion

[jinx343]

he stopped calling, stopped sending mail, rarely sends sms and rarely gets online. but when i send sms saying im fed up already and wouldnt communicate anymore, he replies and sounds like as if he cares how i am. duh!

exactly what is going on?

[Lozenger]

Well, to me it sounds as though he has lost interest in you, but, still likes the idea of you liking him. So when you threaten to cut contact - he talks again in the hope to draw you in as it makes him feel good to have an admirer.

If you don't admire him then here's a fact I picked up:
Men often (although not always) mistake friendliness for sexual interest.

X

[Kromat]

If you don't admire him then here's a fact I picked up:
Men often (although not always) mistake friendliness for sexual interest.

X

That's weird, because when I just want to be friends with a girl, she thinks I'm expecting more :S
I guess it can work both ways, but reading girls is hard sometimes, because they are sometimes
alone with their friends or just in a scenario like dance class in my instance, where the girl is already taken,
but their boyfriend is too busy or a wuss to show up, I just can't stand it being that way.

I guess he's reversing the role of control, because girls are usually the ones who ignore the guys,
so when you finally start to figure out what is going on, you feel like he has something against you,
but maybe he's just trying to see how you feel about the situation.

If he makes you uncomfortable, then just stop worrying about him.

[jinx343]

Well, to me it sounds as though he has lost interest in you, but, still likes the idea of you liking him. So when you threaten to cut contact - he talks again in the hope to draw you in as it makes him feel good to have an admirer.

If you don't admire him then here's a fact I picked up:
Men often (although not always) mistake friendliness for sexual interest.

X

well lozenger, thanks for that. that's also how i see it. maybe he doesn't like the idea of being dumped coz he wants to do the dumping himself. so why not be upfront about it rather than say he cares and loves me much but treats me differently? it would have saved me my worrying about him or our relationship, sleepless nights and grief.

[jinx343]

I guess he's reversing the role of control, because girls are usually the ones who ignore the guys,
so when you finally start to figure out what is going on, you feel like he has something against you,
but maybe he's just trying to see how you feel about the situation.

If he makes you uncomfortable, then just stop worrying about him.

I guess he's reversing the role of control, because girls are usually the ones who ignore the guys,
so when you finally start to figure out what is going on, you feel like he has something against you,
but maybe he's just trying to see how you feel about the situation.

If he makes you uncomfortable, then just stop worrying about him.[/quote]

that's the problem.. i'ts the other way around. i dont ignore him. if he wants me to be there for him, i find ways to be there for him coz i respect him and our relationship much. just sad he doesnt see it that way as i do.

so now, i guess im starting to learn the art of ignoring. (but im tellin' you it's hard!

[jinx343]

guys, when you love a girl, (or so you say you do), is there such thing as too damn busy for anything?

[Kromat]

well when you have school and exams are coming up or a family crisis occurs,
it happens when you least expect it, so you have to be ready for anything.

P.S. Don't worry, this will make you understand how to react to it better next time,
life is a learning experience, so take what you learned from this and apply it to someone else.

Like my signature says,
" Nothing is a waste of time, if you use the experience wisely. "

[jinx343]

thanks a lot kromat i appreciate what you've just said.

you're right about school and exams. but i also have to consider other things.. work and time for his family and friends.. which sounds like no more time for me at all. so i guess that explains it and i just have to accept it. and i dont like being the last priority.. who likes it anyway?

this sucks for my "first relationship" experience.

[moonlight]

I've found that old saying "Actions speak louder then words" is always true.

If a guy really likes me and is too busy to see me, he'll tell me up front why and when I can expect to be number one again. And then he follows up and all's well.

But if he's always "too busy" to see me and doesn't offer any explainations (unless I bug it out of him) then he's probably not too busy to see someone else.

It's up to you how long you'll wait as the last one on the list.

edited to add: Oops. I'm a girl. Damn, I always forget that when I'm in the "Ask a Guy" forum. Never mind.

[jinx343]

thanks a lot moonlight...

we're totally over now... can't believe i waited long enough and sacrificed so much just to get hurt. but that's what loving is all about right? you give your all and take risks... just lucky for you if the guy is worth it... oh well... life's like that.

but it hurts to be told.. "our love is just impossible (we're in long distance relationship) so maybe it's best if we're friends" and "i love you but not so strong as before". hah!

friends? friends my ass! i didnt open up to him and risked everything coz i wanted a friend. i have enough friends.. i dont need another one. thanks!

[Gigabitch]

guys, when you love a girl, (or so you say you do), is there such thing as too damn busy for anything?

No. I suggest you pick up the book "He's Just Not That Into You" and read it. If he wanted it, nothing would keep him from you. He doesn't want it.

Pick yourself up, dust yourself off and walk away. This isn't going to happen.