Is he losing interest

[geekygirl]

Part 1:
The other day my bf and I were hanging out and I told him about one of my girlfriends who wanted to call a guy she met but was afraid of being the first to call and looking desperate. I asked my bf what he thought of this and he said that when you like someone, there's nothing wrong with reaching out to them. In other words, the guy doesn't have to make the first move so if the girl does, she won't look desperate. Then, he looked me straight at me and said, "When I'm interested in someone, I'm also desperate for them." The way he was looking at me kinda left me speechless. He smiled his cute smile and the conversation moved on. We've been dating exclusively for about 4 months but neither of has said I love you yet. Do you think he was indirectly telling me that he's interested in me to the point of being desperate for me or am I just trying to convince myself that's what he meant?

Part 2: He's very sweet, caring and attentive. We spend lots of time together and Skype endlessly. I feel our communication has always been very balanced i.e. neither of us 'runs' after the other. However, for the past 10 days, I feel like he's been a bit distance. He hasn't been texting me (though he answers immediately if I text him) and he hasn't been asking me to Skype either (though again, he'll immediately come online if I ask him to and we spend hours talking about nothing). He's an investment banker so he's quite busy plus he's studying for the GMAT. I wonder if I"m overthinking and he's just busy or is he losing interest? I want to ask him but I'm afraid of looking needy/clingy but at the same time, it's no fun feeling like this. I want to clarify what's going on but like I said, I dont' want to appear needy and push him away. Maybe he's just pulling back a bit to see how I'll react. I want to not text/talk to him and see how long will he stay quiet but I'm afraid that he might not say anything.....I guess I'm kinda afraid of finding out the truth cuz I'm afraid I'll get hurt. A few days, I didn't say anything for two days and I expected him to call/text but he didn't! Finally, on the night of the second day, I texted him. It was a casual message asking him how he's been. He promptly replied (as usual) and said he's trying to be more disciplined and sleep on time so he can study properly. That's ok but does becoming more disciplined mean it's too hard for him to text me or give me a call. I'm so confused! This would be a lot easier to figure out if he wasn't so caring and sweet and willing to help me whenever I need him. I usually avoid calling him at work since he's very busy but the other day I needed to talk to him urgently so I texted him and asked him to call me whenever he had the time. I got a call within 10 minutes. I apologized for bugging him at work and spoke quickly but he was very sweet and told me there's no rush, I should take my time and talk as long as I need.

In a nutshell, everything's fine. There's nothing about his behavior that makes me think he's not interested. Everything's the way it was when we started out about 4 months ago. The only thing that's bugging me is the subtle change in his behavior over these past 10 days. I guess he's just busy or maybe testing me before he gets more serious. What do you think?

P.S. Part 1 happend about 2-3 days before part 2 started happening.

Not sure if this is relevant but I'm 26 and he's 30 so we're both mature adults.

[smackie9]

Well if you two are mature adults you should be able to talk about it. Communication is key for any kind of relationship to stay on track.....in other words stop acting like a scared teenager and talk to him about this adult issue.

[bulrush]

I think in most cases of "being desperate" means they have strong crushes on a person. I can relate. I am going through that now. But my and my gf have lots in common so we are having a great time.

Next, I think he is busy, which is why he doesn't initiate texting or Skype. You said yourself he has a full-time job and is studying for the GMAT. The fact that he does answer your texts right away shows he's interested.

I think you are over thinking this. Relax. Have fun with him. Don't over analyze.

[Gratedwasabi]

He's studying. He responds immediately. You're overreacting. Calm down.

[IncognitoSir]

I think you just need to talk to him about your concerns......AFTER his test of course. The GMAT is no joke and I'm sure requires a lot of his attention. It's good he's still working you into his schedule at this point. Don't over think this and keep the communication flowing.

[geekygirl]

You're right....it is taking a lot of his time and he's stressed about it. Trust me....I know; I'm helping him study! I guess that's another good thing, right? He trusts me enough to tutor him for one of the most important exams he'll probably ever take.

[KelE]

Sounds like things are fine. There is really nothing you can do even if they aren't. I agree with another post that you just have to be totally open and bring things up. It took me a very long, long time to learn this. Don't make the same mistake. My thoughts on the communication is that if you lay it out on the table you won't have the same regrets no matter what happened because you know you put it all out there. You don't have to be needy or freak out over little things. Just be honest and communicate when you have real concerns and don't sweat the small stuff. If someone is not playing games and takes you serious, they will explain their intentions. If they are not serious they will leave you hanging. But like you said you can't be afraid to find out the truth. good luck.