not faithful till marriage?

[trixie20]

Ive been in and out of a five year relationship til recently few months ago when it was off and he slept with anything he could. i know of about 5 girls this summer which means there could be more. now hes trying to get back with me. I think its crazy he did all that but loves me. is that possible? i havent been with anyone else at all. his friends believe in the whole "no one is faithful till marriage" so you can see why this prob happened. but is that really how it goes???

[Cain]

You were broken up. Did he break up with you or did you break up with him. That would make a difference.

[Mish]

Ive been in and out of a five year relationship til recently few months ago when it was off and he slept with anything he could. i know of about 5 girls this summer which means there could be more. now hes trying to get back with me. I think its crazy he did all that but loves me. is that possible? i havent been with anyone else at all. his friends believe in the whole "no one is faithful till marriage" so you can see why this prob happened. but is that really how it goes???

"No one is faithful till marriage" is a statement with a lot of loopholes. This statement means everyone who marries is unfaithful, which is a lie.

In your particular case "He did all that, but he loves me. is that possible?" it's uncertain, more information is needed. I personally believe that when relationship has ended it has ended. It doesn't matter what either party does at that point they are no longer bound by commitment.

[Charlie Boy II]

yes he could still love you and sleep with lots of women. It's a cliche, but it's true: as long as there is some physical attraction, men can quite easily sleep with people without any emotional attachement.

[Zatguy]

Ive been in and out of a five year relationship til recently few months ago when it was off and he slept with anything he could. i know of about 5 girls this summer which means there could be more. now hes trying to get back with me. I think its crazy he did all that but loves me. is that possible? i havent been with anyone else at all. his friends believe in the whole "no one is faithful till marriage" so you can see why this prob happened. but is that really how it goes???

Lulz, if he isn't faithful before marriage the christian god or w/e religious "holy one" (or holy many if your polytheism) isn't just going to shout in the sky YOU ARE NOW MARRIED NOW IT IS TIME FOR YOU TO STOP ****ING AROUND

I am not saying that he is going to be a bad person, I'm just saying that lust and love are two separate thing. If you want him to stay with you, you must know that us guys love sex almost as much as many girls who aren't committed to the "never have sex till marriage" that some has. He can still love you and have sex with 10 million other ladies, it's the lust drive that has kept the human race alive before morals were invented and cave men rapes the females.

I say if he love you (and you forgive him), make the night as interesting as possible. Know the kinks that turn him on and satisfy him the way you expect him to satisfy you. Otherwise, it could very well indeed lead to problems.

[justine820]

Trust starts before marriage while dating. Not after.

[trixie20]

ok, thanks. but why would he do that if he knew it would hurt me so much and jepordize our relationship?

[trixie20]

and how do i know he will never go on this rampage again getting with everything he could, bc apparently girls are too easy nowadays and guys are assholes and use them...

[IndiReloaded]

In general, males are better able to separate physical sex from emotional attachment, this seems true.

If you were broken up, you don't really have much you can say to him. There was no 'relationship' to jeopardize at the time.

I get the feeling you were somehow 'testing' him. This is unfair, if so. You could have easily been with other guys during that time apart if you so chose. The fact you didn't is your own choice.

[trixie20]

i wasnt testing him. he broke up with me and im thinking it was cause he met someone he wanted to test.

[IndiReloaded]

He broke up with you? Sorry, I missed that.

In that case, I would agree its prbly b/c he wanted to play around 'legally'.

If you want him back in such a way he'll behave in future, I think you're going to have to make this guy hustle for you. Tell him you're not sure you want him back b/c he's been whoring around. Say that you'll date him, casually, but that you also want to see other guys. This can't be fake, btw, or you're hooped. You gotta mean it. Let him chew on that bone for a few months & see how he steps up to the plate. If he doesn't, forget him.

Good luck.

[trixie20]

you mean and let him continue playing around cause he will every chance he can get.

[IndiReloaded]

Actually, no, I wasn't meaning it in the 'give him enough rope to hang' situation.

If you truly think that (and you may well have cause) then I don't know why you would even consider getting back with him. Just move on.

I meant it more as a chance that he might be sincere. Its common for young men his age to want to 'sow their oats', but make sure HE understands you have boundaries.

Really tho, why not just see what other guys are out there? Sauce for the goose is just as tasty as for the gander & you're too young to be thinking of settling, in any case.

[trixie20]

im not that young, im 28 and after being in a long relationship its so hard to think of starting over when you thought you were done with that. plus i am not the bar type and i dont go out much. im kind of worried i wont find another bf and im just heart broken right now. i guess im also confused. why does life have to be so difficult

[trixie20]

are you male or female?