Losing my first love and best friend

[boostedk03]

Hi every one I am new to this site and I need some advice on what to do (Sorry about the long post in advanced).
My girlfriend broke up with me 2 days ago and I have been feeling horrible and down. I feel lost and just down right depressed about the whole thing. Let me give you guys a little back round to what happends.

I grew up with this girl. She was my kinder garden sweet heart as her mom puts it. She lived right across the street from her so she was the girl next door that every one dreams about. She has been my best friend since we were 5 years old (I am 20 yrs old now and she is 18) we were un-separatable any where we go we were together and we spent every minute with each other. We could not live with out each other. Every time we fought we would make up few hours then we would be back laughing again and falling in love again. So about a year and a half ago we decided to take it up to the next level and be boyfriend and girl friend and it has been nothing but good until the last weeks.

We were not the partier type of people and always kept to our selves and to a small group of friends. About 2 weeks before we split up she went to a party and had a great time and met a lot of new people and I was happy for her but when she got home the next day a lot of guys kept calling her and sending her text messages. I would ask who is that and she kept on saying don’t worry about it and there just friends I met at the party so I trusted her and put it aside. From there on we were fine until she went out of town to watch our friends graduate from boot camp. I did not go because I had to much school work to do so she went with her twin sister and one of my other good friends. Well when she got back I took off work just to surprise her at the air port and to take her home. We were cool and happy to see each other. We got back to her house and her other friend said you ready to go after like 30 min and I was like what? She did not tell me that she was going to party and I could not go because it was "girl’s night". So I was not happy because I was going to be alone for the night but I still walked out along with them and said bye and my girl friend pulled me aside and said “Sorry I forgot to tell you. I promised I would go with her. Are you ok? I replied with “I though we were going to see you tonight since I have not seen you for a few days” and she interrupted me and said “sorry got to go”
I was kind of pissed off because I had the night planned out for us and since she left I had nothing to do, so I just went to bed.
Well the next morning I was expecting a text message saying I am sorry but I did not get it, I did not get anything from her even after I sent her one. Then finally at 3 she said hi and we talked for a bit and she seemed kind of mad. I could not get out of her what was the matter so I left it like it was then later that night she started talking to me weird accusing me of still being mad about the last night and I was not and she kept on going at it saying i was. Then the fight began. Then out of no where she told me “I had so much fun at the parties and that she missed the word "fun"”. I responded with a big what are you talking about? She replied “When I am with you I never get to go out and have fun because you get mad at me for leaving you alone”. I replied with “No I do not and you know that I don’t. I was just mad last night because I did not get to see you and I had the whole night planned for us.” We kept on arguing like that for an hour and she finally said that she “wants to have the word “fun” back in her life again and she can’t have fun when she is with me because I get mad”. I tried to pull the sorry route to make her stop because I love this girl to death and I did not want things to end but it did not work. Later on she continued to say that she wants space and that’s where I started to break down.

So she broke up with me and I am lost confused depressed and every thing else associated with that. I really don’t have hardly friends to lean on because my friends were her friends and her friends were mine because we were so close so that left me with nothing really. Now that I don’t have my best friend and the woman I love any more I feel empty, worthless and it feels like I am missing a huge part of me. I miss her so much and don’t know what to do.
This is where I need help. I just don’t know what to do with my self any more. Every thing I do reminds me of her and makes me upset. I don’t feel like eating or doing anything else. How can I cope with this and make me feel better because right now I feel really down.
THANK YOU GUYS SO MUCH IN ADVACED!

[Mathias]

Yep, she's 18 alright.

This is going to happen while you're young, unfortunately. Has happened to all of us at some point. This age isn't conducive to long, long relationships.

[Junket]

Bah, she's a bitch.

You see how she's putting the blame on you?

How she blames you for her not having fun?

How she accuses you of getting "mad" when she does go out?

She wants to go out and be free, but she feels guilty because it sounds like a selfish thing to do, so she projects those feelings onto you.

It makes it easier for her to break it off with you.

She's immature, go find some friends and get her off yer mind.

[boostedk03]

I was hoping it would last forever because we have known each other for so long but i guess not though. I am just giving her time and space what she wanted though.


I did run last night. I ran till i could not run any more. It helped a little but when i got home saw her house it made me upset once again. Its hard to do any thing because she is right next door. I think thats going to be the worst thing to cope with.

Thanks For the fast responces

[Gigabitch]

I tried to pull the sorry route to make her stop because I love this girl to death and I did not want things to end but it did not work.

This is too much love.

Look, you need to get your balance back. You can't even stand on your own two feet- she has to be around to prop you up? I don't blame her for wanting something different. She wasn't even evil about it- you have no idea how nice she really was.

If you want to salvage any kind of friendship or relationship with her, you need to practice the no contact rule for a while. If you honestly can't find anything to do with yourself without her, you should take a long, hard look at that situation and figure out how to never get there again. Needing someone isn't really healthy.

[boostedk03]

This is too much love.


If you want to salvage any kind of friendship or relationship with her, you need to practice the no contact rule for a while.

I just used love to death just like a saying. Not really like that sorry.

Well i keep not talking to her and she keeps sending me text messages and she gets mad and upset if i dont text her back. What should i do about that?

[Junket]

I just used love to death just like a saying. Not really like that sorry.

Well i keep not talking to her and she keeps sending me text messages and she gets mad and upset if i dont text her back. What should i do about that?

Tell her straight up, that you can't carry on if you continue to speak with her.

You guys aren't a couple anymore, and at this point you can't be friends either, so she'll simply have to respect your wishes and leave you alone.

Tell her that.

Straight up.

[boostedk03]

Well i dont talk to her unless she says something to me and i usually just say little things like ok and ya back to her.

I tried to tell her that we should not speak to each other last night saying i think it would help then she just got really upset.

Thanks for the great responces!

[Gigabitch]

Well, can you continue on like this or can't you? I think a clean break for a while would give her a chance to miss you.

[anachronistic]

hmm, i have a very strong relationship with my gf (we are engaged). we have promised eachother not to drink, or go to parties. i am very stubborn and i will never break my promise. but if she does, she will be off the list the second i find out. i know how parties go, and i have had my feelings hurt by stupid bitches that decided to do things with other guys.

moreover, i'm sorry for you. my best advice to you is to stop talking to her. it might sound a bit harsh, because she has been your best friend all of those years. if she wants to be stupid, then let her be stupid. just don't stoop to her level. find a girl who isn't like that.

[boostedk03]

I have been trying to tell her that but she does not want to. I keep saying it will be the best for us to take a break from each other and she just starts getting really upset.

[anachronistic]

ok, tell her that it's either parties or you. that seems to be how you want it.

[Junket]

In other words Boost, don't be a pussy.

She ain't your girlfriend anymore.

[xwfuro]

this is sounding tough, i couldnt possibly begin to think how you feel. stay strong and keep striving for goals in life. If you and her were meant to be it will happen you will see, and if nothing else you positively be friends again im sure. stick to your goals and stay positive there is something great for everyone out there.

[boostedk03]

Well i have not talked to her all night. She tried to talk to me but i did not respond back to her and she has not text at all for the rest of the night. I am trying to keep my self busy, i went to one of my friends game tonight and had a good time and just forgot about her for a good 2 hours. What really gets me that her car is not home at night any more. Its almost 12 and her curfew is 11. I thought that was wierd. But o well thanks for all the advice and help you guys this really helped me out.