Relationship without a label?

[rahlixx]

My problem is that the guy I like (even he likes me), we both have feelings for each other, but he doesn't want a relationship because of his past, but yet we still hold hands, exchange kisses, talk to each other everyday via text or on the phone, and meet up almost every day. But, we don't have a label.

Previous History

I had a boyfriend previously for 10 months, things weren't going good. A lot of rumors, trusting issues, respect issues etc occurred. On top of that he would hate my mom, and whatever, he was very possessive and wouldn't let me talk to anyone from my friend circle, I changed a lot for him, but he didn't change for me. He's an alcoholic. We broke up about 4 - 5 months ago. He didn't treat me right, and I deserve someone better.

Present

I met this guy and he's a tattoo artist, dancer, and he's studying in college. He's a year elder to me and just damn awesome. He has such a maturity that I've never seen and he's so understanding. Basically he's a copy of me, we have the same wavelength.

The problem is that we both have feelings for each other and we've kissed numerous of times, but we can't put a label to this relationship. We hide us holding hands from our friends, none of our parents know, only our friends know that we like each other.

His problem is that he had a previous relationship that ended about 1 1/2 years ago, and that messed him up pretty badly, he doesn't want to create feelings of love. He says he loves me, but he then says that he doesn't want to create feelings of love, and by I love you it means that you're really close to my heart.

I'm the perfect girl for him, as he's said, and his friends say, and I want a relationship, but he's just enjoying my company and doesn't want me out of his life, as he's said and stated. But he also did say that I may have feelings for you in the future... But he doesn't want to get serious...

He's also said that I'm different from all the other girls he's dated and that I'm the most understanding, confident, beautiful, and fun loving girl he's been with. But he doesn't classify it as dating, he sometimes says that it's an affair, also sometimes he would state that we're practically bf/gf, but then he'd be like I don't want seriousness etc.

I want seriousness, but he doesn't, all my friends say that I should go for him, and he's the perfect guy for me.. and I really like him a lot. But not having a label to this relationship is killing me, and not knowing where we're heading is also irritating.

I just need help, and want someone to explain to me what's going on?!

[rahlixx]

Guys, I really need help.

[Boisdevie]

Label - bulllshit

I'm with a woman that I love - have we 'officially' asked each other out? No, but we are grown ups.

[rahlixx]

he always tell me to come to places with him, shares all of his thoughts with me including his deepest secrets. could it be a possibility that he loves me or does want a relationship but is scared or something?

[Yet another guy]

Based on your description of the situation, that seems quite possible.

[rahlixx]

What could he possible be scared about though?

[Yet another guy]

What could he possible be scared about though?

His problem is that he had a previous relationship that ended about 1 1/2 years ago, and that messed him up pretty badly, he doesn't want to create feelings of love.

I would guess that he is worried about getting messed up again.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

I use this excuse when I wanna **** someone with no strings. Granted, I don't introduce them to my friends. Seriously though, if he really thinks he loves you, why does he want to hide you? Does he know you really want to be bf/gf? If he knows how much it means to you, and he really loves you, he'll do it for your sanity, since it really costs nothing of him. You can leave him heartbroken with or without a title so what is he scared of?

Have you had sex yet?