Will she be back?!

[Confused!]

Hi, just wanted a bit of advice.

Without getting too complicated, my gf of 8 months recently dumped me (actually 5 weeks ago now) but kept getting back in touch with excuses, like thinking she was pregnant, wanting to chat, etc. We have actually split twice before and got back together, and each time its always better then before.

Just overa week ago, on the friday, she called me like she used to do when going to work for an hour, was telling me she wanted a bit of time to let the dust settle at home (the family had gotten involved int he arguement), that she didn`t want anyone else, etc. nice as pie to me. Then I heard nothing all weekend, so i txt her monday morning if she was going to call, she said no, so i said should I call it a day then? She finally replied a couple of hours later saying she was going to anyway cos she had met someone else?!?

Anyway, she put on FB that she was "dating" someone, so I messaged her and said thats fine if she wanted a bit of time, I wasn`t bothered she knew how I felt about her, didn`t want anyone else, etc. Next day its changed to "boyfriend" then a mate tells me shes put on her fb shes in a relationship now. We are not on either persons friends list sicne we split so cannot see the profiles other then basics as we have mutual friends.

She sent me some nasty txts to leave her alone, that shes happy with this new guy, hes the one, they "fit", and are happy together, yet she only met him a week before and she has trust issues so I`m not too sure if shes saying this stuff to drive me away or to make me jealous...

Last week she got some unknown number to txt me to "leave her alone" and hassle me so I changed my number, as soon as she found out she txt my mate with an excuse about telling me to send a bangle back she had left, even though she has my msn, email, and home number so could have still contacted me!

Anyway I had started No Contact, but 2 days in her pet died so I txt her, on the new number by mistake to tell her, she said thanks and thats he wouldn`t be contacting me again nastilly. I replied and said I understood she had moved on and I needed to as well after getting "us" wrong for her to to just "replace" me like that, that what she did with the number was up to her, and I didn`t know what the future holds but if she did get in touch in the future I wouldn`t ignore her, and I wouldn`t contact her again. She didn`t reply.

Then she txt me last night out of the blue saying she wanted this bangle back etc, again bit nasty, and that she wouldn`t be contacting me again! A few txts were sent, I wasn`t nasty back, she was each time I said would send it today, and there was no need to be hurtfull, that was about it.

This morning I added a group membebrship on my facebook, which appeared on my wall. I just happened to check her basic profile a couple of hours later, and she had joined the same group so must have looked at my profile! I didn`t realise she had been checking my profile even though shes not on my firends list but theres no other explanation!!!

So I guess my questions are, is she checking on me to just to see what i`m doing, or because she doesn`t actually want to "loose" me to someone else - i.e she still wants me? And is this relationship thing on facebook and social me to get me to give her space, or has she really moved on from me with someone else in the space of a week or so, and want nothing to do with me? is he a rebound, or the real deal? As hes not the sort of guy she goes for (always older men) and nothing like me (hes 25, I`m 35!) Cos she said she was going to delete my number after she txt me the other night about her pet and clearly had not to txt me again last night?!

I intend to keep no contact up till ehr BD in a few weeks, but I do really care for her and we`ve been through a lot of stuff together, the breakup was bad though, lots of small arguements snowballing into a breakup as she vented off to her family and friends, which, to me, makes it hard for her to go back on what she said.

And the biggy, will I get her back?

Would be gratefull for any advice and opinions!

[Confused!]

Should have added, she claimed last week after stating there was another guy, that she feels nothing for me whatsoever and has moved on, yet 2 days earlier she was calling me telling me she wanted no-one else, just to let the dust settle, etc.

Confused!!!!

[icelady1983]

You need to completly forget about her and move on. She has moved on and is clearly using you.

She is a player and unsure of what she wants and she is trying to keep you as a back up so if things fall through she has someone to come back to.

She is using you and that is it.

You are better off with out her and there are plenty more nice girls out there for you. Ones that will know what they want and treat you with the respect that you deserve.

Just go out and have fun with your friends, keep your self busy, enjoy being young free and single and when you least expect it and the time is right you will meet someone else.

Delete her off facebook, ignore any messages which she sends to you and do not meet up with her. This will all help you to move on.

[Yggdrasil]

I advize to move one. You do not want to be a spare tire or a safety blanket. She made a choice. Her loss, somebody elses gain.

Break all contact with her, give yourself time to heal from this experience and once you're ready, go back dating.

[ecojeanne]

no she hasn't clearly moved on at all. from her behavior i don't believe she has another guy at all. i would reckon she is waiting for you to beg her or something similar. if you want her and your relationship was good before all this drama then meet up with her and TALK not text or facebook each other...for chrissake the internet and text is so impersonal and feeling can't be shown.

just my thoughts

[Confused!]

There IS someone else, cos she sent told me his name, age, what he does, even his mobile, etc when I first found out, was nothing to do with being online, this stuff about him being her boyfriend and stuff since is since she`s said don`t contact her, although shes been the one txting me or my mate...

I do find it hard to belive shes just moved on from me just like that, after all we been through, she would call me every day and spend every weekend for me for the past 8 months. When just days before she was contacting me thinking she was pregnant, etc even, as an excuse to contact me after she had told me to leave her alone! And now about this bangle (which I sent back yesterday).

I did try to meet up with her, she refused at the time, I actually called her this morning as I could not get hold of a family member for a couple of days and needed to talk to someone, she actually took the call didn`t hang up or anything.

We were taking about something, can`t remember exactly how it happened but she turned round and said "I can`t help meeting someone that I really like", so I just replied " I thought you really liked me, and wanted to work stuff out", she then said "you don`t know him" I just replied " how can you after just a week, but this isn`t what I called about" and she went quiet so I returned to what I`d called about.

She also tried to say something about maybe loosing her job, as if she wanted to talk about that, but I didn`t go on about it after thinking I was being played or just being used as her "rock" as I aways was and if she has someone else who is "so good" thats their job now....

Don`t get me wrong, I love her and really wanna work stuff out, but as it stands she either does not know what she wants, or thinks the grass is greener at the moment with this new guy, I don`t know....

I`m going back to no contact now I was justa bit low this morning ended up having to ring round hospitals etc trying to find out where this person was luckally she was fine int he end, that was the reason for calling the ex. To be Honest I`m not even sure if this guy is as serious as its made out to be, or if it is the real deal, or if this stuffs been put on facebook to wind me up, just because she knows she can see the basics of my profile so i can see hers, even though we are not on each others friends list....

[Graham Berkeley]

So sorry to hear your situation, Confused. Was in one similar years ago. Looking back on what happened to me I can say she isn't over you. She has found something different and for right now it seems good.

For some reason girls LOVE to torture their Ex's if you let them. Even a nice sweet girl will be a raging lunatic if you let them. You have to put your foot down. She wants you to chase her
and break down at her feet and beg and beg and beg for her to come back. If you do that she will either laugh in your face to make herself feel better or come back to you but have absolutely no respect for you and eventually leave or even cheat. Just seems to be the way girls work...

[Confused!]

Thanks graham,

well it just seems to get weirder now, as I had txt her at weekend saying weekends were rubbish as missed spending them together like we used to, going to a race track some days, etc... She actually txt back saying she was there that day (her dad is a marshal there) so I txt back saying fi she got bored on ehr own later she could call if she wanted, she didn`t reply but I had set it up expecting her to say she was with this new "guy" and to leave her alone, etc etc.....

Anyway for whatever stupid reason I asked her yesterday if she fancied meeting up and doing something, expecting a nsaty "leave me a lone I have a bf" rubbish like she had done a week earlier, she replied no but thanks. Was a bit supprised witht hat to be honest as she had been saying only a week earlier leave me alone i`m happy with my bf, deleting your number, etc.


Anyway this morning I get a txt asking if she had left a certain bra at mine, I replied saying she had said to leave some stuff at mine for when the "dust had settled" she replied its ok i`ll buy new it was her favourite and she wanted to wear it thats all, so I said fine be like that she txt back said sorry she wasn`t being like anything she just wondered where it was so could stop looking, so i replied saying she had said to leave some stuff at mine, and that she knew I wanted to sort stuff and if we wasn`t there was no point me having it at mine, she replied saying she needed new anyway!

So if she was going to buy new why even ask in the first place? And why not say send back the stuff or bin it when I said if we wasn`t gonna work stuff out?

Shes not replied to my last txt so leaving it b. Just don`t know what to think anymore!

[Yggdrasil]

So if she was going to buy new why even ask in the first place? And why not say send back the stuff or bin it when I said if we wasn`t gonna work stuff out?

Shes not replied to my last txt so leaving it b. Just don`t know what to think anymore!

Because it's her bra and she can ask for it.

Take all her stuff, put it in a box and then throw it out.

You're living in the past. She's GONE. It's OVER. Find peace with it.

Like it or not, that's how it is.

All the rest is in your mind.