Lost Love

[alonzo]

Maybe a mod should move this to the broken hearts forum I'm not really sure...

I'm pretty sure that there is nothing that I can do at this point but I just really needed to tell my problems to someone. Basically I recently got involved in my first romantic relationship. The girl is absolutely incredible she is drop dead gorgeous she is fun and intelligent and we want the same things in life. I love her dearly. When we got involved she was already in a long distance relationship and wasn't sure what she wanted to do. I know we shouldn't have started things but I wanted to be with her and to become her boyfriend and so I did anyway. The first weeks were great and I've never been so happy in my life. Then she started to withdraw from me and distanced herself. She says it was to protect me but all it did was keep her from getting closer and ruin my chances of winning her heart. She went to see him and decided that she wants to be with him and now they are moving in together in two months. I was so upset by the situation I kept needing to talk to her and I ended up driving her away by being too clingy. The thing is she never said anything or gave me a chance to change. She just moved on but kept letting me hold her and be there for her. It's only been two months but she's shared so many personal things with me and I can't stand that I lost the chance of a future with her. I know if she had said something I could have improved and things could have worked. I don't know I just feel really hopeless right now.
I know you're thinking this is just because it's my first relationship and partially you're right but you don't know this girl. She is objectively the most beautiful girl at my university, she is funny and smart, when she was thinking of leaving to be with me she was the most affectionate and nurturing person I've ever met and we both have the same values and desires. We even like a lot of the same things and get along really well. I just ruined things by being to anxious because I was afraid to lose her. She has downsides that I acknowledge. She is very concerned with how people see her, she uses people all the time without even realizing that she's doing it and she has problems with both anorexia and alcohol. Even with those flaws though I still can't stop loving her. She shared her journals with me and showed me a side of her beauty that I don't know if I'll ever be able to recover from. And I feel so stupid writing this because the irony is that my inability to deal with this sort of thing myself is what drove her farther away and made the choice easier for her.

[VincenzoG91]

It will take time to get over her, but eventually you will. And because of this experience, you know that you are capable of attracting a wonderful person like her, so you should feel confident. Since most women find confidence to be a very attractive quality, you will eventually meet someone even better than her, someone who is available for a real relationship and not just a cheating fling.

[cmacattack1]

I wish I could tell you everything works out when you want it to and it seems that you genuinely care, but those aren't the kind of guys most girls fall in love with. Most girls fall in love with guys that aren't at their every beck and call and have this fantasy of a guy falling in love with them after the guy has won them over. Keep in mind that this is just most girls, not all. Some girls just want to be treated right. Hence why she was emotionally cheating with you for a bit, but her feelings for the other guy is too strong. To get both of her needs met. Her feelings for you just weren't strong enough, not to say she didn't enjoy what you provided.

You wouldn't want to be her boyfriend that was getting emotionally cheated on would you? The way she is treating you isn't right because she isn't being honest with how she feels. Or maybe you just aren't listening. You have to think about you in this and limit the emotional damage you are taking because any more pursuit of this is futile. She's decided to be with him. You have to cut her out now. I'm sorry.