advice please, about 3 months since break up

[spaceboy409]

So its been about 3 months since the most heartbreaking moment of my life. I was completely broken after my girlfriend broke up with me after about a year and half relationship. At first i self medicated with alcohol, and tried to tell myself i didnt love her anymore. Eventually i hit rock bottom and was crying so much I couldnt even make it through a day of work. Luckily I was working for my parents so they were very understanding, but it got so bad I had to check myself into a hospital for week.

Now this still shocks me that one person changed my life so much and made me feel like nothing was worth living for after she was gone. I still replay all the mistakes i made over and over in my head, almost everyday since. I have made some progress tho, i quit drinking, i talk to everyone about how im feeling each day, im more grateful for the people I still have in my life, ive connected more with my parents in the last 3 months more than I have in my entire life. I never realized how many people truelly cared about me. Its just so hard when the most important person in your life doesnt care anymore...

but to bring it back up to date, I have been living close to my parents after living in the city for 6 six years. 3 months later I feel im ready to get back to my life and try to put this behind me and move on with my life. Im just so scared, cuz ill be close to her again, and I know in my heart im still so in love with her.

I wish i could hate her, I wish I could forget her, I wish so bad I never opened my heart to her. everytime I listen to that song 'the man who cant be moved' by the script it brings me to tears.

Should I try to meet someone new? is it okay to still love her. we dont ever talk, but I know its for the better.

[lahnnabell]

I'm sorry you're going through this. Yes, it is okay to still love her. You're going to be unable to control how you feel about her for some time yet. But the pain does pass, it just seems insurmountable 'cause you're still in the thick of it.

What is important is that you are seeking help and reaching out to others. Your family is there for you and you've cut out alcohol, a major depressant that will only add to your misery. If you feel that you're ready to start dating, then go for it. Don't push it though. You don't want to be crying into your coffee over your ex with some new girl staring at you quizzically from across the table.

[cmacattack1]

Staring at you quizzically would be the best case scenario too.

If you aren't ready for somebody else don't worry about it. I love how alot of girls I know just jump into the next relationship because let's face it, girls usually have their pick of the litter. How often does that work out though realistically? You can try to fill that void with anybody that comes along but will it make you happy as a result? Not likely.

It's okay to be on your own, it's okay to be alone. You've seen everything that went wrong and you've lost something really important to you so it won't be something you will forget anytime soon. What has happened has happened though and there isn't anything you can do about it. It's really a powerless feeling after being in the driver's seat for the duration of the relationship.

Good for you to cut out the alcohol too. Part of my problems with my relationship was my childish need to go out with my friends and get ****ed up. I knew this as she was breaking up with me and didn't use that to medicate myself in the aftermath of the break up. And yeah, it is a pretty miserable time, she still consumes my thoughts from time to time and I want something to take that pain away, but as you've seen, it doesn't matter what you do, only time can help you get yourself back together as a functioning human being. Don't lose your health while you are at it.

[w3llborn]

Its prefectly normal what you are feeling. i am feeling the same way when my gf of 1.6 years broke up with me. I am in the same boat, i still love her so much and cannot forget about her. i always think of the things i could have changed in the relationship that would have made things different, but it does not help. by doing this you are only blaming yourself for the break up and that will not help you to move on. hope all is well for you, hang in there, you will eventually lose feelings for her, it may take a long time though. A break up after that long is one of the hardest things you can go through.

[Gigabitch]

I don't think it's time to look for someone new yet. That's just not fair to the next girl. You're damaged goods right now and you have some more grieving to do.

You'll get through this, you really will, but it's a long road. Stick around here- lots of people have been where you are.