Am I dating a pyschopath?

[Janedoh890]

I'm 24 and my boyfriend is 25. We have been together for exactly 7 months but I have known him for 5 years. Our relationship was not built on the most stable of foundations. We go together when I was with someone and he was with his girlfriend of 3 years. We had lost contact over the years but reconnected upon me asking him if he wanted to go out for drinks. One thing led to another, and we both ended up getting rid of the other relationships for eachother. This was a rocky road though. He was still seeing his ex behind my back, cheated on me a few times, she then fabricated multipule fake pregnancies which is when he finally fessed up to the cheating. Then I ultimately cheated on him as well while I was in the process of breaking up with him. This all happened in the course of 4 months.

To really start off, I should let you know that I am on probation. I have been for a year. As of today I have 50 days left. Within these 4 months, him and I have taken part in some illegal activities that one is not allowed to do on probation. For me that was mostly drinking. Little did I know, he had been collecting "evidence" of me doing these things, whether it be with him, or not. Screenshots of me admitting to it. Texts. Voice recordings. The whole nine. At the time I didnt know that telling your significant other about these things, expecially when he would encourage them, or even entice me with them, would later be used against me in some revengful act.
After all the cheating came to surface, I made the decision that we were not good together, or even emotionally ready for a serious relationship. I started to back away. Put some distance in between us. There was of course some other undesirable behaviour from him which also led to me doing this. After I admitted to him that I had cheated, he demanded that I let him put a tracker on my phone. I was only allowed to talk to him via Facebook with my location pinpoint on at ALL times. He demanded my google location password. I would not allow the tracker, and I would not give him my password. This led him to other extremes, going through my phone when I was sleeping. Gathering numbers from friends and pretending to be me to gather information. As himself he would contact friends via facebook and ask information about me, whether is be past or present. He would follow me, and have his friends follow me. The list goes on.

About 5 months into our relationship is when I really started to back off. I know i did wrong by cheating, but this behaviour was unecceptable to me. I noticed the red flags, and immediately started to grow distant. He did not like this. Remember all that evidence he collected on me? He contacted my probation officer and told her all of it. Of course he was threatening me with doing this for a little over a month, but one night in a rage i began to ignore all his calls and texts, and I guess the next day he finally did it because shortly after she contacted me. I admitted to doing things i wasnt supposed to, thus giving me weekend jail. The other week he finally admitted to being the one who called. He says he does not regret it even though it could have led to 3 months or more of jail time. He also makes it known that he would and will do it again in a heartbeat.
These of course arent the only threats I have recieved. He has made multiple suicide threats. He has threatened my life and my families life. He has threatened a few of my close friends. And once he even jumped out infront of my moving car causing me to hit him. He says he will file charges against me if I try anything.
People have tried to get me to get a restraining order. Yes, I know this is an option, and probably the best one. But he has made it clear that if i even TRY to do so, he will inflict suffering upon me. wether it be going to my p.o again, filing chargers for the accident, and he has even gone as far as to threaten making a facebook account where he tells ALL of my deepest darkest secrets. Secrets you only tell people you've known for years, and are stupid enough to trust them with.

With less then 2 months left on probation, I have tried an alternative route. I have tried my best to keep him as happy as possible till the end of my probation. This, I have discovered is near to impossible. In order to keep him happy, I must follow his set of rules, which he thinks are all validated:
1. I must let him know when i am leaving my house and when i am arriving at my destination. He must be able to see the loction.
2. If i am with friends, he must know their names, where i met them, and if we go out ANYWHERE, i have to alert him.
3. I must take screenshots and send him proof of private conversations with friends. I have to prove that i am not telling them anything having to do with this.
4. All men in my life, is subject to question by him. I must tell them where i met them, what relationship they are to me. And if the relationship at one time went past being just friends, I have to tell him IN DETAIL what happened.
5. He must be allowed to go through my phone at any time.
6. I must give him blowjobs when ever he asks. This should be number one on the list because it is of upmost importance to him.
7. I must make an effort to see him everynight.
8. I must try sexual things that I am not and have never been comfortable with.
And of course the list goes on.
Making him happy has become impossible, because even when I am doing these things, he brings up other things I am not doing right. It could be anything. Literally anything. Talking on the phone with a friend, rather then him. Not deleting a close friend of 10 years from my life. Not replying to his calls or texts in a time period that he deems acceptable.

Lately he has asked me to go public and tell everyone that I have told this story to that it has all been a lie I have made up for attention.
If I dont do all these things he asks, he lets me know there will be consequences.
The fear of leaving him is unbearable. And the misery of staying with him is unbearable.
I wake up everyday, scared of what level he will go to if I dont do every little thing his way. I walk on egg shells. I let things he says and does to hurt me slide for fear of bringing it up, knowing that it will trigger an argument that will escalate to unwanted proportions. I have done things that I feel are degrading to myself to make him happy. And I have let his public slander and lies about me on facebook continue.
I do not talk to my family about this anymore.
And i do not talk to my friends for fear he will find out.
All I can keep telling myself..."only 49 more days"
But I am scared, that when that last day of probation comes...I will see the TRUE evil in him.
I'm not sure if I am looking for advice. Or just to vent.
I'm not really sure.
All I know is that I am scared, and I am at a lose of what to do.

[Wakeup]

Have you at least gone to your probation officer and told him all of that ^^^? Are YOU at least getting the psychological help you are so obvious in need of while you count out the hours until you are probation free?

[basilandthyme]

Sweetie, messing about asking amateurs such as us is wasting valuable time. Instead of chatting here, you need to go to the police and make statements about all of this. Take any evidence you have - texts, letters, notes...anything. Talk further with your probation officer. And go to a domestic abuse centre for advice.

Is he using crack? Or any other illegal drugs? Is he involved in any type of crime? If so, you can make an anonymous call to the police and have him busted.

As for the suicide threats - well you can only hope he comes good with his threat. It would make all your problems go away.