Cancelled dates?

[Jon1281]

Hi,

There was a girl that I like in school last year, we were friends and we knew each other quite well, but I was too shy to ask her out back then. However she kind of knew that I liked her anyways.

Back in July this year, she mentioned if we would like to go bowling together one day, so I said yes. However the awkwardness my stupidities have got better of me and I never arranged anything. In August/September she bought up the topic of going bowling once again, but once again I never did anything.

In mid-September I started working. I spoke to my colleagues at work regarding this girl; I got told how stupid I was for not taking the valued opportunity, but he was very helpful and thrown a lot of word at me which got me thinking again. So that evening I decided to arrange it once and for all. I spoke to her and told her that I would like to go bowling and I apologized for the lengthy delay and blamed it on time looking for a job and that work was too hectic. She was cool with everything and after some discussion it was all was set for Friday. However that day after I arranged it, the hospital phoned to say that my dad's appointment (He has a kidney condition and needs regular check-ups) has been moved from Wednesday to Friday due to doctors. As I needed to drive my dad to the hospital, I could not go on the "date" which I arranged as the time clashes. Therefore I told her the truth was really sorry that I won’t be able to make it and we rearranged it for the next Friday.

All was cool, until Thursday evening when I phoned her to remind her that we are meeting tomorrow. During the phone call, she told me that she was not able to come because she needed to take her dad to the doctors and offered to reschedule for Saturday which I could not go due to work commitment. During that phone call, it got cut off in the middle! And I had to ring her back twice. (I did not know who cut it off, but at least I didn’t think it was me.) Note: This is almost the same excuse I had last week. She came on msn later and initiated a convo with me so I attempted once again to reschedule it for next Friday. She didn’t seem very bothered and took about 5 minutes to respond. But she said yeah after all for next Friday, and all was set once again. However as it was like some kind of fate, I found out the day after that I had to attend some kind of work safety training on that Friday evening (outside my usual work hour) and therefore wasn’t able to make it, so once again I had to apologize and spoke to her on msn about the situation. I attempted to send her the proof for my training next week, but she didn’t accept it and insisted that she believes me and that I was silly to think that she didn’t believe me.

As I felt bad for keep cancelling, I asked if she was free on Sunday and if so would she like to go to an exhibition (that she also likes) that I was going (the Sunday before that Friday which I had to cancel on). She said she was free and would like to go. Now, heres the interesting part… at 4 in the morning for the exhibition, I had a text message from her saying that she was incredibly sorry that she was not able to make it. Why would someone suddenly change their mind at 4 in the morning when they are supposed to be sleeping?

So to summarize, the “date” has been cancelled 4 times in a row already, and this was supposed to be a first date. I cancelled twice and she cancelled twice. To be honest, my feelings for her have pretty much gone now but I’m wondering if I should give it another shot, since we are break even from the cancelling. I think that girl is playing some kind of game, but then, she’s my friend and I don’t understand why she is doing this.

Man, Im in a mess! Help please? >_<

[Gigabitch]

It's possible she's punishing you for making her wait so long. It's also possible that this simply just wasn't meant to be.

Whatever it is, if your feelings have changed to the point where you're no longer even interested, I say just move on and find someone else. You're already having some relationship problems and you haven't even had a first date yet.

[Promiscuousboy]

Got a car? Go to her place and pick her up. Easy as that, hehe.
But ofcourse she is playing a game with you, she dosn't care if you had proof you were unavailable the schedualed date, she is taking revenge because you had her agree and set up for something you could't go to. Look at it this way.

"Eve, I love you!"
"-Adam, I love you too!!"
"Eve, Oh, i don't love you, that was just gass Wanna feel?"

[Jon1281]

Hi again,

Thanks for your posts guys.

Does anyone else have any more input towards my situation? What I really need on is to decide whether I should give it another shot.

[Moonchild]

To be honest, my feelings for her have pretty much gone now

I think that's your answer right there. Things haven't worked. If she wants to try setting something up again, then you can consider it, but there's no point in asking out--or dating--a friend you no longer like in that way anyway. There's probably a greater chance of losing your friendship if you do something silly.