Making a girl ready - preparing for sex

[Tashi]

I want to ask a girl about this. Me and my fiancee have been together for a long time now, and my needs are getting to me. She is a beautiful girl, and she loves teasing me. Unfortunatly, we are both virgins. We have previously made slight references to sex when roleplaying (on a forum), but nothing more. Recently we have started to chat about it, and roleplay more indepth, though not really THAT deep yet. This is because we want to push our relationship to newer levels.

I'll try to use all of my courage to write as much as i can....

We ARE somewhat sexually active. We give each other handjobs, and i give her blowjobs (if that is what it is called when performed on a girl) now and then. But that is it. She is scared of how it may hurt if i finger her (uhh, inside, like, fingersex?), and she doesn't want to try giving me a blowjob (i don't know why actually, haven't gotten the courage to ask about it yet.)

I don't know if there are more ways to advance before the actual sex, which is what we are currently preparing for. This is part of it actually. While we aren't planning an exact time, we have planned it to happen at some point. When is determined by how fast we are able to get ready for it.

And to make it 100 % sure, we are both agreeing on this. We both want to become ready sooner or later. And we want to accomplish that through talk, roleplay and foreplay kind of sex.

so... the question here was... how can we prepare ourselves for it? Protection aside, that part is covered. Other "activities" in bed are also appreciated, and ideas on how to get her to try it as well if possible...

..That... pretty much took all the courage I have for now. I'm not good at talking about this so directly with anyone other than her... so bear with me.

also sorry for bad English, it isn't my first langauge.

[Cain]

Are you Asian?

Also, if she's worried about it hurting, have her finger herself to try and get herself used to it. If she has doubts if she's ready, then she's not ready.

[Aegis]

rofl...you two are building up for it so much, it's going to be astoundingly disappointing for you the first couple times, being both virgins.

I don't mean to offend, it's just that few people, after having gained experience, think of their first time as having been "great."

You'll have to forgive me if I think it's kinda funny; just do it! :p

[Cain]

rofl...you two are building up for it so much, it's going to be astoundingly disappointing for you the first couple times, being both virgins.

I don't mean to offend, it's just that few people, after having gained experience, think of their first time as having been "great."

You'll have to forgive me if I think it's kinda funny; just do it! :p

lol, yeah... but they won't know it's disappointing since it's going to be their first time. It's a good thing they are both virgins, eh?

OP, when you both do start having sex... about 6 months later you're going to both look back and laugh about how shitty it was.

[Junket]

Tell her to finger herself.

[Tashi]

lol, well, the problem isn't really that we are afraid it wont be "good", the problem is we simply don't think we are ready right now. After searching around a bit, and asking someone, we figured our problem was that we weren't even trying to become ready :/

"just doing it" isn't really an option. I wouldn't be able to out of shear fear of hurting her too bad, and I think she is afraid it might hurt too much the first time as well.

And I don't think I am able to make her finger herself. She has huge nails, and nails are the main reason she is afraid of fingering. I barely have any, and she is still afraid it might hurt.

and... I am not asian, but she is O.o how'd you figure?

I am open to ideas on how to prevent any kind of problems with nails? I have them cut clean and nice, but she is still afraid of me cutting her. Maybe a condom? The problem here though is, that the condom is WAY too big for my finger. The reason I even want to try finger is, that... well... I may be wrong, but to me it seems like fingering is like sex for the girl, simply with something smaller ._. bet me if i'm wrong.

Also, I would love to see some girls reply here >.<;; I DID post on the "ask a girl" board xP Although I appreciate your help guys

[Cain]

lol, well, the problem isn't really that we are afraid it wont be "good", the problem is we simply don't think we are ready right now. After searching around a bit, and asking someone, we figured our problem was that we weren't even trying to become ready :/

"just doing it" isn't really an option. I wouldn't be able to out of shear fear of hurting her too bad, and I think she is afraid it might hurt too much the first time as well.

And I don't think I am able to make her finger herself. She has huge nails, and nails are the main reason she is afraid of fingering. I barely have any, and she is still afraid it might hurt.

and... I am not asian, but she is O.o how'd you figure?

I am open to ideas on how to prevent any kind of problems with nails? I have them cut clean and nice, but she is still afraid of me cutting her. Maybe a condom? The problem here though is, that the condom is WAY too big for my finger. The reason I even want to try finger is, that... well... I may be wrong, but to me it seems like fingering is like sex for the girl, simply with something smaller ._. bet me if i'm wrong.

Also, I would love to see some girls reply here >.<;; I DID post on the "ask a girl" board xP Although I appreciate your help guys

I may not be a woman, but I know for a fact that fingering is nothing like sex. I can't think of a single woman that would rather be getting finger ****ed than ****ed with a dick.

Also, your nails aren't a problem. My nails are trimmed down and I finger her... and she has her nails longer and she fingers herself. It's not hard to be careful.

And I figured either one or both of you were Asian because you are from another country and you both are into sexual roleplaying. It just reminds me of those Asians that are into Hentai.

[lesa]

Ah men. Too much information men. Anyways, Tashi it sounds like you two and especially the woman are not ready. Also, you have to do more than just go to the sexual organs. If done correctly, she would almost not really care what you do to her next.

How old are you two?

[Tashi]

the asian stuff is disturbing me >.<;; I've always been roleplaying, for like, 7 years now, and the only reason we are even trying sexual roleplaying is to help us get further ._. Hentai is... uh, can't say i dislike it unfortunatly, but as I said, I am not Asian >.<;;

Also, you have to do more than just go to the sexual organs. If done correctly, she would almost not really care what you do to her next.

Sorry, but, what are you talking about? O.o I'm... a bit inexperinced as you may have figured >.<;; Any good advice about this is greatly appreciated

Oh, and also it seems like i forgot to mention. Alkohol, Drugs, anything like it, is a huge no from my side. I don't think she wants to try any of it either, but I would GREATLY prefer to stay away from that stuff. I think that would be one of the very few things were I would have a great deal of problems accepting it. a few of the "ideas" i got from around, is to get drunk, and see what'll happen. yeah, that sounds nice, having your first time without knowing what's going on, and afterwards having to deal with pregnacy problems.... >_>

I hope to get some ideas that isn't "take her now" or "get drunk" >.>;; those are the main ideas i've been giving from people i have asked so far, and they are pretty useless. Maybe it is just because i lack the guts to ask another girl >.<;;;

[1averagejoe]

What lesa is talking about is foreplay, teasing, building tension to the point where she's so horny she doesn't give a crap what you do to her.

Give it time, wait. You're not ready because you and her have doubts. There's no need to feel rushed. It will come with time.

As for her being scared of fingering, that's something you've got to start somewhere. Fingernails aren't a problem as long as their cut short and filed smooth. Try to explain to her that it's ok for her to try herself, and from there ask her if you can try and tell her to guide your hand with her hand.

Oh ya and it's not called giving a female a blow job...lol. The correct term is cunnilingus. But no one calls it that, just call it eating pussy.

[Junket]

You guys need to do some proper research.

The more anxiety and pressure you put on sex, the less enjoyable, and potentially painful, it will be.

If you can't get over that anxiety, it's definitely gonna suck.

So no, you guys aren't ready.

You need to be ready mentally and emotionally before you'll ever be close to being ready physically.

[Tashi]

You need to be ready mentally and emotionally before you'll ever be close to being ready physically.

We already figured that, that is why we are taking it slowly, and are trying to take each step only when we are ready for it. Rushing it wont help anything, we almost tried that once, and that ended up as crap even before starting.

Uh... about the correct term... whatever >.<;;

and foreplay is basicly what we do O.o and whenever I try to make her come to the point where she is ALMOST ready, and then try to calm down so she doesn't come, she will pretty quickly start complaining about it hurting ._. is it me who is doing something wrong, or? but... I might try asking her to try herself, or guide me but... gah, we are both a bit too shy to try that I am afraid >.<;; oh well, i'll give it a shot and see where it ends

[1averagejoe]

I believe, if you're in her pants already, even if it's not sex, there's absolutely no reason to be shy about talking about something.

The reason she starts complaining about it is because she needs to relax. When she starts getting nervous/stressed, she'll dry up and get a bit turned off then it will start to hurt. So keep her wet. Also don't slow down from keeping her from cumming, just let her finish. That's like her giving you a handjob and you about to cum then just slowing down to the point where you can't. She probably gets frustrated with it.

[Tashi]

yeah, thought so too, which is why it confused me when I am told to let her get so horny she is begging for more O.o I don't see how to do that, other than teasing her, but that seems a bit mean to do >.<;; although I don't see why she would become nervous ._.

But i guess you are right... we ARE doing something, so why should there be a problem talking about it?

Lol, This'll be fun. I'll count how many tries it takes before I man myself up and ask her.

...probably a while -_-

Other ideas are still appreciated ^^

[1averagejoe]

yeah, thought so too, which is why it confused me when I am told to let her get so horny she is begging for more O.o I don't see how to do that, other than teasing her, but that seems a bit mean to do >.<;; although I don't see why she would become nervous ._.

By this, we mean that when she's ready to actually have sex, it's more than just sticking it in. It's about building her up to the point where she's begging you to stick it in. Clearly she isn't ready to have sex, she scared to just finger...start small, work on talking to her about fingering. She'll probably be a bit uncomfortable at first, reassure her things are ok and you won't hurt her, but also make sure she talks to you and tells you what feels good and what doesn't.