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Thread: I'm confused. What is she looking for me to say or do?

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
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    I'm confused. What is she looking for me to say or do?

    5 days ago everything was great between me and my gf of 10 months. Then I screwed up a little when me and her were fooling around and got she got a call from work needing her to fix some problem. She bent over to give me a big kiss gd'bye and I drew back and kissed her on the nose saying what was the point of getting anything started that we can't finish. She stormed out the door but I immediately called her and apologized. At that moment I realizeI was a jackass but it was only the 2nd bump in the road we've ever had(both extremely minor IMO).

    So since then, she shows very little affection towards me. We have good kisses goodnight but she doesn't
    return my "I love you" when I tell her that in texts or in person. And she now callsme by my name instead of "amor". These are things she used to do everyday. At first I ignored it, then I questioned her but didn't push it when she acted like it was no big deal. But after 5 days, something is badly wrong.

    I figure one of several things. Since I have oversaturated her with kindness and attention, she either likes the attention I have been giving her and wants it to continue(especially with my 80 hour work week) or or perhaps really doesn't care the "nice guy" me. Or she simply isn'thappy with me anymore,or I guessits
    possible that she us interested in someone else. Although I don't think that's it because she doesn't shy away from physical contact, responds to my texts instantly and sent me photos of us two together from our last few outings.

    You have any idea what she wants? She dodges the question everytime I ask her directly. I plan on trying to
    have a serious talk with her tomorrow, and get the truth out if her, hopefully without letting my frustration come out. Because frankly it's starting to become tiresome after almost a week. Any advice?

    I was thinking the best thing would be to just ask her if she loves me. If she says yes, then just treat her likes she's treating me, call her only by her name, stop telling her I love her and talking in an affectionate manner then just see how that plays out. Hopefully we will return to normal. If she says no, plays coy instead if answering my question or looks like she's gauging me to see if she can use this as a way of garnering attention or dominance, then maybe its time for a new gf.

    edit: this phone is giving me fits with the text
    Last edited by UdoKier; 16-06-12 at 10:01 PM.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
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    I think you're in the right mindframe. She's obviously trying to hold some power over you. I think you should just cut all the bullshit, and initiate a break up conversation with her. That's the ultimate trump card to any games that are being played on her end. Tell her, "I feel like you're changing and you don't love me, and I want to find another girl that does." There is no bullshitting her way out.

    The other solution is to just back off of her and start seeing other girls. You don't have to cheat on her, but it will really help if you can actually develop a connection with another girl, so that you genuinely start caring less about your g/f. She will see this shift in your attitude and freak out.

  3. #3
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    Yeah, so I didn't exactly stick with my gameplan. I confronted her and asked her if she loved me to which she said yes. I then asked her why all the sudden change in behavior? It couldn't just be b/c if that refusal of a kiss. She said a lot but basically gave a non answer or a I don't know why. I then asked if she thought it was fair to freak out over a kiss but then not reciprocate my I love yous. She then started rubbing her forehead like she had a headache. At that point I told her(sarcastically) I was sorry to be bothering her with trying to figure out what the problem in our relationship was, I was going to my friends house to catch up on all the fights I have missed on their weekend get togethers, take all the time she needs and call me if she wants to open up. So she tears up and starts crying. Of course I am a sucker for the little girl routine. We end up hugging and having sex. We then went to Mexico for a day, even though I shouldn't be going with my work schedule, and things are back to normal.

    But basically I failed, I still have no idea why she started playing these games. BUOGS, you are right, I think its time to start keeping an eye for another girl. I don't know why I just can't find someone normal who wants to love me back like I love them, and spare the drama. I knew it was too good to be true with this one, she's funny, has a huge, entertaining family and has a fantastic figure(former Pepsi promo girl), she would have been snatched up and married a long time ago if she was normal. But I am not going to leave right now, she hasn't gone nuts or anything, and even aside from the sex, I enjoy her companionship.

    Oh well, even if no one reads this, just putting all this into text has been kind of therapeutic in itself. It's not like I could confess all this to one of my friends without looking like a total wuss haha
    Last edited by UdoKier; 19-06-12 at 05:59 PM.

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