His son is messing up our relationship... advice needed badly!

[thatwassweet]

I'm 20 years old and am dating a 36 year old man. He has full time custody of his 6 year old son. His son is
telling my boyfriend that we should just be friends. I need advice!

[BackUpOrGetStng]

What the **** do you want us to tell you?

Tell him that you care about him and want to continue dating, and you'll try to make nice with his son. Tell him that you will not remain friends if he doesn't want to date.

[Amber2011]

I think you need to look through the little boy's eyes. You don't say when the boy's mother went out of his life. If it was fairly recently then the poor kid is probably feeling insecure and frightened. He has lost one parent and sees you as taking his place in his father's affections. He is only six years old bless him.

He needs his father.

I'm sorry but I think you are showing a degree of immaturity by seeing this child as a threat and perhaps you should seek a boyfriend closer to your own age with no parental responsibilities.

[dj454]

I believe you posted on another forum but with more detail maybe you should explain a little better. From what I see here and if you are the same one on the other forum the age difference and the kid are not going to work for you. Honestly at 20 you haven't even finished developing who you are. Move on or get over the kid is the only advice I can give.

[gigigi]

yeah i agree w/ other posters...a 16-year age difference doesn't doom a relationship, but when the people involved are 20 and 36 i feel like the life stages that you are each at are just too far apart for it to work. dealing with children/dating is an issue that generally comes up later in life- i'm about eight years older than you are and i would really think twice (or three or four times!) before considering dating someone with children because it just makes things so much more complicated and you really have to make sure to put the children first no matter what.

[vashti]

You are far too young to handle the responsibility of dating someone with children, and he is foolish to have even introduced the two of you. Cut your losses and move on. Don't date anyone with children until you have some of your own, because your inexperience is very apparent, and that little boy needs to be surrounded with people who know what they are doing, or at least, know enough to avoid doing harm.