Have you ever thought why people who hate being treated like a doormats repeatedly become involved with people who don`t respect them? I bet you are familiar with the stories when women who vow never to marry or date alcoholic again find themselves continually attracted to, and involved with alcoholics? Why is it so?
Why people very often follow the same negative patterns in their life?
To help yourself to build healthy and fulfilling relationships in life and not repeat mistakes from the past try do divide and identify people and also yourself as a `stores`.
The description of different types of `STORES`/ relationships, which you might be experiencing in your life, is presented in a book “If you want an egg roll, get out of the pizzeria”.
You might find there the `Convenience Store`, which represents individual who offers whatever help you need, any time of the day or night. Beside obvious benefits, such us help, quick and free accessibility and variety of help aids, you should be ready for some limitations. This `store` will definitely reach the limit one day and will be unavailable just when you may need it the most. You have to be aware of that. And the negative aspect of this type of relationship is also that the free accessibility of variety of help aids may make you to be too dependent on this person and his/her loss might be nearly impossible to overcome for you.
The other types of stores and descriptions, which can be found in the book are:
Speciality Store, Department Store, Boutique Store, Chain Store, Outside Vendor, Kiosk, Tou Store, Fast Food Store, and many, many more...
The main lesson which should be learnt from the “store identification” exercise is that:
“If you always shop where you always shopped, you`ll always get what you always got”
And this is the answer to the main questions asked at the beginning of this dispute.
But you should also realize that the goal of the “store identification” exercise is not to find one store that meets all your needs, but to focus on the benefits each relationship brings to you. Every person has unique, individual characteristics that they bring into relationship. You should understand where to `shop`, what to `shop` and what are the shopping hours. Once you accordingly balance all the relationships, you will find out that they are growing constantly and harmoniously, which I guess is the goal for all of us.
For more real life examples and relationship management techniques pick up the book:
“If you want an egg roll, get out of the pizzeria”.
I am sure that many of you will find it interesting and helpful.