Nice Guys—Do They Really Finish Last?
Why do women prefer the “bad boys” when it comes to dating
and relationships? Men subject women to abuse emotionally,
physically, financially, and mentally—yet these women love
these men and come back for more.
What Is Wrong With The Nice Guy?
It seems as though if a man treats a woman with respect,
kindness and consideration they avoid him like the plague.
Women view such a man with disdain or at best as just a
“friend.” The no-good dirty cheater is the one that merits
her affections.
Discuss …
Respectfully,
The Wanderer
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31-01-09, 07:32 AM #1
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Nice Guys—Do They Really Finish Last?
Last edited by The Wanderer; 31-01-09 at 07:42 AM.
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31-01-09, 07:41 AM #2
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The number of women who prefer "bad boys" is similar to the number of men who prefer superficial bitches.
Relax... I'll need some information first. Just the basic facts - can you show me where it hurts?
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31-01-09, 07:45 AM #3
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An overwhelming majority?
Originally Posted by vashti
God, so atrocious in the Old Testament, so attractive in the New--the Jekyl and Hyde of sacred romance.
-Mark Twain
If people are good only because they fear punishment and hope for reward, then we are a sorry lot indeed.
-Albert Einstein
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31-01-09, 07:54 AM #4
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Which part? The part where most Nice guys are really just as insecure and petty as the assholes they rail against women for dating, or the fact that the nice guys will do anything and everything to drive a wedge between a girl they like and the person the girl is in a relationship with? Originally Posted by The Wanderer
Sorry, Nice Guys are usually anything but. They're pathetically needy, pathetically manipulative, and they lack a spine which is what being an asshole is often mistaken for.
The nice guy is the hyena of the dating prairie. They're always ready to jump in and gnaw on the leftovers of those willing to actually stick their neck out for what they want.
Women don't want a nice guy. They want a man. They want someone with a spine that is actually willing to say "No." That is actually willing to occasionally be the bad boy/asshole. They want the guy whose attention makes them feel special. The nice guy is the guy who slinks about in the shadows whispering in the girl's ear about how she deserves better because he wants to date her. He doesn't actually respect the girl enough to wait until she's not in a relationship."Well, then," the Cat went on, "you see a dog growls when it's angry, and wags its tail when it's pleased. Now I growl when I'm pleased, and wag my tail when I'm angry. Therefore I'm mad."
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31-01-09, 07:56 AM #5
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Originally Posted by Lite
wow.................The male is a domestic animal which, if treated with firmness, can be trained to do most things
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31-01-09, 08:01 AM #6
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Imo nice guys that say they are 'nice guys' aren't nice at all but are psychopaths. But I am also wondering is it all down to instincts and natural selection (evolution). Apparently the most desirable man of all, in many woman's eyes, is 'tough-tender'– nice to her, aggressive with everyone else. Toughness can be attractive for several reasons: 1) it can reflect overall genetic quality 2) it can protect the woman and her children 3) he promises to give her tough sons. A woman's son has to compete against other women's sons, and if he is beaten up or publicly humiliated or killed, he will have less of a chance to reproduce. This may be the reason some guys don't find a partner and why it is perceived that women like bad guys
Work like you don't need the money. Love like you've never been hurt. Dance like nobody's watching
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31-01-09, 08:08 AM #7
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It goes into a nature vs nurture discussion at this point though. Which, while a natural transition, isn't quite so simple to sort out. IE: One of the less desired traits these days is diagnosed as ADD/ADHD, but one of the current popular theories for the phenomenon is that these people are still just better suited to the high intensity hunter/gatherer lifestyle genetically. Originally Posted by ecojeanne
Pretty much there's a rift between what a woman claims she wants from a man, and what she really wants.
On one side you have hyper-masculine. Which has its attraction points, but these days women want someone who is more in-tune with themselves. So, in comes the newly crowned Metrosexual who is capable of talking about his feelings. And the byproduct of that is the Nice Guy issue. Sensitive male feels he cannot compete against hyper masculine, so he tries to be sneaky and outwit instead out outbrawn. Only, he's pursuing women who basically classify and judge each other by intelligence as a pecking order so they're pretty much onto his game.
What women (most anyway) seem to want is a delicate balance between hyper masculine and metrosexual. They want the guy who can talk about his feelings without being needy about it. Who still has the confidence, but is respectful.
For men, that's a very thin tightrope to walk when you know that if you slip too far to one side you'll likely lose the relationship."Well, then," the Cat went on, "you see a dog growls when it's angry, and wags its tail when it's pleased. Now I growl when I'm pleased, and wag my tail when I'm angry. Therefore I'm mad."
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31-01-09, 08:17 AM #8
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I always give them a chance at least. However I don't want a guy that can't drive a car/ motorcycle and still lives at his parents even while working for years. That's the only thing I wouldn't like.
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31-01-09, 08:30 AM #9
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Originally Posted by Lite
Your perspective on the matter is appreciated.
However, I was hoping to hear from the female
point of view. Nevertheless, thank you for the
insight.
The Wanderer
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31-01-09, 08:40 AM #10
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i don't really understand the question. most guys start out as NICE and then show their true selves. When I go on a first date with a guy I do expect him to be nice, and if he is not, then I bail. Originally Posted by The Wanderer
The male is a domestic animal which, if treated with firmness, can be trained to do most things
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31-01-09, 09:24 AM #11
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Originally Posted by Lite
Originally Posted by Lite
Agrees with Lite... hope that helps..
I'd state my own view on the matter.. but he has for the most part, summed it up. Women do not want a 'bad boy' or a 'nice guy'... those are two extreme versions of the male psyche... a balance between these two offers the greatest benefit as far as a woman is considered. As you may notice... as women grow older/more experienced... they are no longer infatuated by the 'bad boys' or willing to give a chance to the 'nice guys'... they are looking for a man that walks the middle between the two...
Originally Posted by The Wanderer
"The weakest soul, knowing its own weakness, and believing this truth that strength can only be developed by effort and practice, will, thus believing, at once begin to exert itself, and, adding effort to effort, patience to patience, and strength to strength, will never cease to develop, and will at last grow divinely strong."
- James Allen
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31-01-09, 10:30 AM #12
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If a truly nice guy gets put aside it's because he's lucky to not waste his time on a stupid woman. Only an intelligent/mature women would go for the truly caring guy, and ofc, only idiots would want to live with an asshole in a serious fulfilling long term relationship. Originally Posted by The Wanderer
It is probably the dominance that girls see in theses guys that attract them, although one who knows a few things on psychology would know that an asshole is probably an asshole because that's also how he sees other people: assholes. No wonder he treats his girl like crap.
"No voice is as enchanting as it seems from afar."
The fact that they also seem unreachable makes them more attractive. That's how humans are.
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31-01-09, 11:38 AM #13
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[url]http://www.loveforum.net/ask-female-forum/25521-nice-guys.html?highlight=nice+guys[/url]
[url]http://www.loveforum.net/love-advice-forum/19219-why-nice-guys-often-such-losers.html?highlight=nice+guys[/url]
[url]http://www.loveforum.net/ask-male-forum/14372-nice-guys-vs-jerks.html?highlight=nice+guys[/url]
[url]http://www.loveforum.net/love-advice-forum/13548-nice-guys-finish-last.html?highlight=nice+guys[/url]
[url]http://www.loveforum.net/love-advice-forum/11408-so-there-any-real-nice-guys.html?highlight=nice+guys[/url]
[url]http://www.loveforum.net/off-topic-discussion/9773-nice-guys-can-finish-first.html?highlight=nice+guys[/url]
[url]http://www.loveforum.net/love-advice-forum/8925-why-do-nice-guys-finish-last.html?highlight=nice+guys[/url]
[url]http://www.loveforum.net/love-advice-forum/861-nice-guys-finish-last.html?highlight=nice+guys[/url]
Thanks, we needed another one of these threads...
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31-01-09, 11:47 AM #14
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Um, maybe you better define 'nice guy' a bit better. Lite's post basically says that "asshole" comes in many flavours. Originally Posted by Lite
Second thoughts can generally be amended with judicious action; injudicious actions can seldom be recovered with second thoughts.
--Cyteen by C.J.Cherryh
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31-01-09, 11:54 AM #15
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Lite's post was nothing but truth, though.
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