Is he controlling or am I subborn?

[skittles_rain]

I'm kind of confused. I've been dating this guy for a couple of months and I've seen some red flags of controlling behavior.

Examples:

1. He does not like that I sometimes wear clothes that are a bit revealing

2. He gets very anxious and paranoid when I talk to the opposite sex or the fact that I have male friends.

3. He is very emotionally needy and I can't seem to ever give enough to him and have him be satisfied.

4. He is always talking about a relationship being 50/50 and each side has to "sacrifice" in order to make things work.

5. He calls more times in one day that I can even count.

6. He is a very sexual person and times when I've came home from work and have been exhausted and just wanted to sleep.. he paces the room and pouts.. knowing this keeps me awake.

7. He does not like the fact that I want to get breast implants and everytime I've mentioned it he has said "this is suppose to be a 50/50 relationship and I feel like I'm the only one contributing"

I don't understand it. He believes that people are suppose to sacrifice their wants, beliefs, lifestyles in order for a relationship to work and I believe that we have to learn to accept each other fully. I don't really think I'm failing on my side of the 50 percent by being myself? He doesn't exactly demand that I change anything but does this still count as controlling behavior? Or am I just too stubborn and independent to want to conform to make a relationship work?

[bluesummer]

I don't understand it. He believes that people are suppose to sacrifice their wants, beliefs, lifestyles in order for a relationship to work and I believe that we have to learn to accept each other fully. He doesn't exactly demand that I change anything but does this still count as controlling behavior?

This is controlling behaviour, for sure.

I think that your outlook on relationships is healthier than his. There are always small sacrifices to be made in any relationship....it's called give and take. But a person that really loves you will love you for exactly what you are, and not expect or want you to change for them. He sounds very needy and insecure, too, with all the phone calling and the paranoia about talking to other guys. He has unrealistic expectations of you.

This guy irks me.

[GrkScorp]

He is always talking about a relationship being 50/50

WHAT??!?!? How DARE him!??!?

It sounds like you're dating a little girl..

Revealing clothes? I get upset if my girlfriend DOESN'T wear revealing clothes.. Because then she just turns me off and it's impossible for me to find her attractive.., feel attracted to her.., and feel the urge to have sex with her if she looks boring and dull..

This guy sounds insecure.. What's his problem? Not accomplished in life? Not exactly successful? Small wee-wee? Scrawny and skinny? Chubby and fat? Not exactly the best looking stud? Not comfortable with his sexuality? Weak and submissive? What gives? Why are you with him again?

[lastwish]

He sounds scary. Run.

[ecojeanne]

get out!!!!!! short but sweet or not....this guy IS controlling and you know it.....i'm sure your friends and family know it too

[lesa]

6. He is a very sexual person and times when I've came home from work and have been exhausted and just wanted to sleep.. he paces the room and pouts.. knowing this keeps me awake.

Are you married to him? Why is he living in your home or there when you need your down time?

Why are you playing house with a boyfriend? He is going to treat you as a spouse and demand 'spouse' things. The relationship does not sound like it needs to be at that level at this point.

And yes, he does sound controlling.

[Charlie Boy II]

Get the breast implants.

[shh!]

It sounds like you are BOTH trying to force a fit. Give it up already, before you end up hating each other. This isn't going to work... you arenn't meeting each other's needs.

[anachronistic]

He should date a Turkish girl, and you should date a Californian

[Darkest Heaven]

Or another twist on it could be is he doesn't want you looking like a hooker, and wants a 50/50 relationship because, you know, with him, you are 50 out of 100. Without him, you are.... uh huh.

[Azpackrat85]

You need to jump ship ASAP. This is not going to work at all.