My ex confuses me horribly....need outside perspective please

[mistermet319]

Hey all, I just broke up with my gf about 6 weeks ago and she has bad self-confidence issues and we kinda had a messy breakup, lot of yelling and name calling on her part. She said to me once "sometimes i think i cant have true happiness, maybe we all cant have that". I think she said that because whenever she thinks shes falling in love with a really amazing guy she gets really scared/cant handle it and runs away. Now shes with a complete loser who is 10yrs older then her that is completely obsessed with her (and has been known to supply her with drugs)...shes said in the past she thinks he is a low-life and never even really wanted to be with him when they dated in the past. I mean I know I have been walking away and keeping distance, but what the heck is going through her head??!!! Does she think maybe this is the best she can do/handle cause she considers herself on that level?! Confuses me cause she is gorgeous and has an amazing personality....any perspective will help me, thanks so much all.

[Lite]

I think she needs therapy and to grow up to be honest.

Save yourself, run like ****ing hell. You cannot save anyone from themselves. Drop the hero complex, the confusion, and any other delusions of adequacy you may be harboring towards her. She'll drag you down like a boat anchor.

She needs help that you cannot provide to her. It's unfortunate, but when it comes to inner demons the only person who can save you, is you.

[londonmoon]

You can't change people for anything in the world they have to do that for themselves, but even after they change it will be too late because they realize what they could have had. Regret is really bad. Truthfully, "if" you love her just be kind friends with her, don't crowd her, slowly pull her in for help, but without pushing and she may come around. You never know.

[mistermet319]

I understand all of that, and I understand the savior complex what not; but im just trying to figure what could be going through her head...i know its a bad situation by now and to steer clear, but i was asking what she could be thinking. when we broke up she yelled at me a lot, she took me off as one of her friends, she said she doesnt even want to be my friend and doesnt want me in her life anymore, and i really didnt do anything to her at all besides be there for her and treat her incredibly well. does she hate me or does she hate herself cause she feels like she cant be with me cause of her own issues? thats kinda what i was hoping to get some perspective on....