Laid back guys and being secure

[E-Loc540]

Im a laid back fella and I dont usually have much to say. Im not shy im just closed off to certain people. I think I am introverted. I was wondering you you females look at this as being (not-confident). Also im a super secure guy and trust my women with girls night out with no questions asked, after all I wouldnt be in a relationship if I couldnt trust you. A lot of women like their men up their butts, others like to keep a little distance....I now see the super secure trait of mine a double edged sword. Im led to believe lately that even though some women love the guy to be secure it seems that they look at this like the guy as not caring about the relationship...Ladies, where are yall at?

[lostinconfusion]

i like my space, i think there are a million other ways of showing a guy cares without being up our butts as you put it. on the other hand my sister wants a guy to call 6 times a day asking what she's doing otherwise she thinks he doesn't care. so my point is, it's different for every girl. sorry to clear answer.

[lastwish]

Laid back? Ohhh...you mean lazy.

[jessZ]

It is great that you feel secure, but I guess from a female perspective the 'laid back' approach can be interpreted as disinterest, but it does depend on the girl.

It is ok to be quiet and introverted. There are plenty of people like that. I am guessing that you want a confident girl who doesn't need constant attention and is self-assured enough to realise that you don't need to go into a jealous rage to show her that you care. That is great, but it is important to show her that you are thinking about her in other ways. Do things to make her feel special. I think all girls want to feel special and adored.

[kez73]

You just have to be who you are and not change it to fit around someone else. Eventually you should find someone that matches you well.

I have an ex that seemed to Morph into whatever the woman wanted and I don't think that is healthy. If he was with a girl who required a lot of attention and affection, he would do that. If he was with a girl who wanted to go out with friends all the time and never bring him, he would stay home. It became such a pattern for him to morph into whatever the girl wanted, I don't think he ever had a clue what HE wanted. That is bound to cause problems eventually.

If you are secure enough that the girl goes on nights out without you breathing down her neck, I'm sure you would find someone that would appreciate that greatly. But if she went out all the time and never with you, would you want to stay with someone you hardly see? lol -- my point is that you should be able to find someone who is either introverted (maybe like a home-body, someone who would rather hang out with a small group of friends or just their partner like I do lol),, or someone who balances it well and feels free to go out on the town with her friends once in awhile, but spends a lot of time with you and you both enjoy the relationship... just don't change yourself to mold around someone else's ideas unless YOU decide to change things for YOU.

[SJ Tavo]

i think space is healthy and necessary for any relationship - i like to have my space and if i'm out and about, i don't want my phone being blown up. If you have a little distance in your relationship, I think it allows you to have the opportunity to miss the other person.