Innocent flirting or crossing the line? ALL feedback welcome

[as400beast]

ALL feedback welcome:

I need everyones opinion on wether my girlfriend is innocently flirting or is it crossing the line by I text convo i saw on her phone?

they were staying away for a training camp. The conversation happened the weekend I moved in with her! Weve being going out a year and a half. She had a failed marriage approx 10 years and ago and a long term relationship brake down approx 3 years ago. he is married with 2 kids.

Will refer to my girlfirend as gf and my girlfriends colleague as mc:

mc: whats with giving jane a neck rub??
gf: she asked me, can you say no to a director?
mc: yes tell her to shove it. Never given me a rub.
gf: just like you did when she asked you to get the drinks in? youve never asked (for a rub)
mc: room 25, bring a pizza
gf: ha ha, i havent got a pizza and its after hours now, your request doesnt count
mc: whateever
gf: throwing your toys out cause you cant get what you want
mc: no toys here
gf: then im defo not popping over
mc: dont need them
gf: everything is more fun with toys!
mc: not doing it right
gf: thats a matter of opinion
mc:are you coming to me or am i coming to you
gf: nope im going to be good and go to sleep!

[Hohenstaufen]

Everyone is going to have a different opinion. One persons "innocent flirting" might be another persons "crossing the line."

You have to figure out if you're personally OK with her speaking to someone like that and speak to her about it.

[RainbowDestiny9]

I personally would to be ok with that but that's something for you to decide.

- - - Updated - - -

Sorry that was supposed to say wouldn't. If I spoke in that way to another man I'd feel guilty but I'm quite a quiet person and very loyal. Others can be different.

[viewfromhere]

To me this is fairly innocent, but no one can tell you that because there is no universal standard. If you're uncomfortable with it, then you can let her know that. How did you see these messages though? I kind of think that if you weren't meant to see them, you have to consider whether the way you found matches your discomfort with the messages themselves.

Good luck!

[melancholia]

She didn't say anything out of line during that convo. However, MC seems to like the attention and it sounds like he was really trying to get her to be alone with him. She clearly refused his suggestions, so I don't think you have much to worry about. What you do need to worry about is why were you snooping through her phone and reading her messages? Has she displayed untrustworthy behavior throughout your relationship which would warrant your violation of her private things, or are you insecure for some other reason?

[Wakeup]

The very fact that she spoke about "toys" and was giving him clear innuendo is her being inappropriate... especially when they were away together on business and there was hinting going on. Just because she didn't act on the suggestiveness of what was being said does not absolve her of the inappropriateness.
Its boundary crosses like that that lead to things going further. She didn't shut him down in the least, she simply said she was going to sleep. If she were to shut him down she would have clearly let him know that that kind of talk wasn't going to happen again in the future. Why was she texting with him like that at all is the question. There is obviously some sort of attraction going on between the two of them and to entertain that kind of flirting with him has intent.

Bottom line: Albeit she didn't act on the innuendo ~ She played along in a manner that is disrespectful to her relationship and her significant other.

[At88]

Unacceptable, went thru the same thing! They were supposedly innocent flirts, but later on i found out there was nothing innocent about it. She needs to make clear from the beginning that she's not into it. She engages in the conversation and enjoys the attention he's giving her. Is your attention not enough?

[Gladimeir15]

It depends on you on how you take as your point of view. For me, I just see it as her natural way of expressing herself.

[hazey daisy]

Typical coworker banter. When you work together for awhile your mind goes further in the gutter with each other. She shut him down at the end, she's a good girl.....so what if she talked about toys, she's an adult, adults will talk about adult things. She or he never said how they were going to using them on one another, or ask what kind, etc. Now please stop snooping in her stuff.