So.. she called me...

[Bigboy77]

Broke up with my girl of 4 years...
My stories all ready in the broken hearts forum..
Anyway she lost feelings for me.. and was seeing someone else 2 weeks after our break up.

I stopped talking to her for about a month.. she called me last night.

She basically said hey, how are you doing.
There we're a lot of long awkward pauses,
I acted like I was happy and nothing was wrong.
Ended the conversation with , hey i gotta get going, I'm off to go party with some friends..
15 seconds of silence. Then she gave me a sad goodbye and that was it. She could have been drunk because it was late.. She lives like 2000 miles away..

What should I take this as?
I really like her still... and don't know what to make of this..?

[carl1222]

She's probably having problems with her new boyfriend and she had a few drinks.

A long distance relationship is tough enough even when it's going well. My guess is that she had her new boyfriend before she left you. Do yourself a favor and discourage any more contact from her ... seems like you already have.

Carl.

[Bigboy77]

I want her back though!
And she didn't meet this guy while we were dating..
she met him at a party
she went straight for a rebound to fill the hole of our relationship. She's still single she is just seeing him.

Should I just wait it out more and see if she calls again?
or would it be a mistake to call her or send her an email?

[carl1222]

I dunno ... it just seems like you are setting yourself up for more pain. How long has your relationship been long distance? How often did you see each other in person when you were together? What is the likelihood that the relationship could become short distance, and when?

It all strikes me as pretty grim. It seems that she might have been receptive to a rekindling ... that night at least. But you don't really know what motivated her call. If she lost feelings for you then, what is different now?

I don't doubt that you want her back. But what would you really be getting back? Just a friend? That would be a horrible mistake on your part. After all, you don't want her as a friend, you want her as your girlfriend.

Carl.

[Bigboy77]

we lived together for 4 months,
i'm super close with her family that lives where i live.
the relationship has been longterm for a year and a bit i guess.
i still hang out with her family regularly and they are very upset that we broke up too.
I won't see her for 3 months.

[Bigboy77]

I was going to go visit her in a month with her family but we broke up so i decided not too.. so 3 months till she comes back.

[carl1222]

Is she coming back for good?

[Bigboy77]

no, just for a few months.
I was hoping to try and rekindle it then
and move back in with her.

[Bigboy77]

anymore opinions on what this could mean?

[Cbrider]

Your reading into things WAY to much. You need to stop viewing everything as a potential sign and move on. Moving on doesn't mean the end, but it at least opens a new door instead of starring down that familiar path of heartbreak and loneliness. She jumped right into a rebound relationship, mark my words it will fall apart, its a matter of time.

For better or worse, you still had feelings which prevented you from doing the same. You need to take a deep breath and look around at what's out there. Shes 2000 miles away and you're in no position to try and rekindle a relationship through text messages, emails and phone calls.

I try not to speak in absolutes, so I wont say you can't fix this, but how could you take her back? She split from you when you started to miss her, regardless of your approach. She jumped into another guys arms immediately to fill the void she felt. Everyone is entitled to their own opinions and course of action. I was in your spot not terribly long ago and wallowed for a long time. The best thing anyone did for me was my dad giving me a hard talk. He didn't dance around the situation and didn't hide the facts. Its a lot easier to understand everything when someone paints the real picture.

You're probably questioning yourself and everything you did in the relationship...forget it. I have lots of questions left from my last relationship that I wanted answers. Eventually you realize that some questions are best left unanswered, both because there is no answer or it was never your fault to start with.

Leave it man, you have a girl somewhere in this world who wants you more than anyone else, she's not her.

---------------------------------------------------------

Edit: I got to thinking about your situation and it mirrors what happened to me last time around in a lot of ways. My ex ended up dating and moving in with the guy that had caused the problem in our relationship to start with. I never once contacted her after we split up for good, not once. She still texts, calls or emails me from time to time, she sent me a text recently asking me out to coffee. Maybe she misses me, maybe she wants to talk, maybe she wants to apologize, maybe her new relationship is falling apart, maybe shes pregnant, point is I don't know and I don't care. I have yet to respond to one of them and quiet possibly never will. I told her not a word from me until her new doormat was out of her life, yet now that I am past her, I honestly have no intention of talking to her ever again under any circumstances. You have to let the cloud of emotions fade before you will start thinking straight again, until then you will always lean towards her.

Its really ****ing hard to say good bye and let go of someone you loved and cared about, believe me its the last thing I ever wanted to do, but it had to happen. You really need to get out and be with people, socializing will take the sting off of things and help get you on level ground. You need to just cut contact with this girl no matter how you feel. She made a choice on her own to leave you, she then made a choice to throw herself at the next guy she saw. The ball is not in your court, nor is the real hardship here. Trust me, no matter how it looks from your end you are better off than she is in every way.

Get up, get out, get going, theres no pause button on life, you need to get yourself back out there. The sooner you make yourself uncomfortable, the sooner you will will forget and the sooner you will smile again. I did a lot of exercising to relieve stress, I am now in the best shape of my life...quiet a trade.

It could be worse, your 2000 miles away from the source. I work with the source.......AND her boyfriend. I rather enjoy it though, both of them duck there heads and can't muster the courage to even look me in the eye. Bow to no one, be proud of who you are

[Bigboy77]

Thanks for the advice.
I don't know what to say because it is so hard to come to terms with.
You are right and I should just move on.
Thank you.

[12many]

Your reading into things WAY to much. You need to stop viewing everything as a potential sign and move on. Moving on doesn't mean the end, but it at least opens a new door instead of starring down that familiar path of heartbreak and loneliness. She jumped right into a rebound relationship, mark my words it will fall apart, its a matter of time.

For better or worse, you still had feelings which prevented you from doing the same. You need to take a deep breath and look around at what's out there. Shes 2000 miles away and you're in no position to try and rekindle a relationship through text messages, emails and phone calls.

I try not to speak in absolutes, so I wont say you can't fix this, but how could you take her back? She split from you when you started to miss her, regardless of your approach. She jumped into another guys arms immediately to fill the void she felt. Everyone is entitled to their own opinions and course of action. I was in your spot not terribly long ago and wallowed for a long time. The best thing anyone did for me was my dad giving me a hard talk. He didn't dance around the situation and didn't hide the facts. Its a lot easier to understand everything when someone paints the real picture.

You're probably questioning yourself and everything you did in the relationship...forget it. I have lots of questions left from my last relationship that I wanted answers. Eventually you realize that some questions are best left unanswered, both because there is no answer or it was never your fault to start with.

Leave it man, you have a girl somewhere in this world who wants you more than anyone else, she's not her.

---------------------------------------------------------

Edit: I got to thinking about your situation and it mirrors what happened to me last time around in a lot of ways. My ex ended up dating and moving in with the guy that had caused the problem in our relationship to start with. I never once contacted her after we split up for good, not once. She still texts, calls or emails me from time to time, she sent me a text recently asking me out to coffee. Maybe she misses me, maybe she wants to talk, maybe she wants to apologize, maybe her new relationship is falling apart, maybe shes pregnant, point is I don't know and I don't care. I have yet to respond to one of them and quiet possibly never will. I told her not a word from me until her new doormat was out of her life, yet now that I am past her, I honestly have no intention of talking to her ever again under any circumstances. You have to let the cloud of emotions fade before you will start thinking straight again, until then you will always lean towards her.

Its really ****ing hard to say good bye and let go of someone you loved and cared about, believe me its the last thing I ever wanted to do, but it had to happen. You really need to get out and be with people, socializing will take the sting off of things and help get you on level ground. You need to just cut contact with this girl no matter how you feel. She made a choice on her own to leave you, she then made a choice to throw herself at the next guy she saw. The ball is not in your court, nor is the real hardship here. Trust me, no matter how it looks from your end you are better off than she is in every way.

Get up, get out, get going, theres no pause button on life, you need to get yourself back out there. The sooner you make yourself uncomfortable, the sooner you will will forget and the sooner you will smile again. I did a lot of exercising to relieve stress, I am now in the best shape of my life...quiet a trade.

It could be worse, your 2000 miles away from the source. I work with the source.......AND her boyfriend. I rather enjoy it though, both of them duck there heads and can't muster the courage to even look me in the eye. Bow to no one, be proud of who you are

hahaha...
man you are good with words. your words have affected me too even though i am not in the same situation. just reading this gave me heads up on what i should do if i ever get to this situation with anybody.
as for now, i am happy because i just got a new CRV w0000!!! 3 days after crashing my civic =(. o well, new car!!! was hoping i'd get a LAN EVO X but this is good too.

sorry was off topic.

[Cbrider]

hahaha...
man you are good with words. your words have affected me too even though i am not in the same situation. just reading this gave me heads up on what i should do if i ever get to this situation with anybody.
as for now, i am happy because i just got a new CRV w0000!!! 3 days after crashing my civic =(. o well, new car!!! was hoping i'd get a LAN EVO X but this is good too.

sorry was off topic.

Haha, I aim to please

You have some empathy towards others once you get burned, and it makes you want to help where you can.

CRV is practical and a good all around car, an Evo is not. Sure its fast, but its not a good day to day car. I raced and Evo once on my bike, they are fast as hell off the line with AWD, but I smoked him through every gear after 40. Get a bike