Sex and Marriage?

[playing6string]

Hi,

I haven't posted here before, but thought I'd give it a shot.

I've been with my wife for over 6.5 years, but married for only 2.5 years. Over the course of our relationship we have had our ups and downs like anyone, but over the past year I feel like our physical affection has dwindled to near nothing. Don't get me wrong, we still hold hands when we walk down the street, hug each other alot, and show a lot of "normal every day" affection, but when it comes to more intimate affection, she basically shuts me down.

At this point I have basically stopped trying because I don't want her to think that I'm "pressuring" her. The only problem is that anytime (which has become rare) I try to approach her for more than just a hug and a kiss, she pretty much pushes me away and gives me some lame excuse.

So in a nut shell, my sex life is non-existent at this point, I have stopped trying to have sex with her for fear that it will just turn into some arguement, and I don't know if I can take it anymore. It shouldn't be like this. I won't go into a laundry list of other crap, but if anyone has some suggestions, I'm open.

[Only-virgins]

If she is not having sex with you then.....who is she having sex with?

[Via Vai]

okay, when you guys have had sex over the last few years, have you made sure that she's getting pleasure out of it as well?

or are you guys doing it till you get there and she never gets her cookie?

[KirstyM]

Talk to her. If you cant keep a proper discussion going with her then I would suggest your first problem is communication, not intimacy.

[devilsrage]

"When I was 4 years old, they tried to test my IQ.
They showed me this picture of 3 oranges and a
pear. They asked me which one was different and
did not belong. They taught me different was
wrong."

you think different is wrong
different is not wrong man

[bohemiandonut]

"When I was 4 years old, they tried to test my IQ.
They showed me this picture of 3 oranges and a
pear. They asked me which one was different and
did not belong. They taught me different was
wrong."

you think different is wrong
different is not wrong man

Actually, in that case, different IS wrong.

"Boo hoo, we're all the same, judge not, I'm okay you're okay, no one is better than anyone else, waaaah..."

[jaslovesant]

Start off with a massage...she'll be the one asking for it!!

[abovethisall911]

Take her out for a nice meal,have a nice classy wine (cutting no corners) and then when you get home light some candles,offer her a massage with oil and everything.Believe me you should offer to do whatever she wants.Women love to be pampered so good luck man,don't give up.Hope it goes smoothly x x x

[Apache]

Hmmm...I know of this problem.
Are you taking care of her emotional needs? They seem to go hand in hand with intamacy. And then there are those women who lose interest, although 6.5 years is kind of soon. Mine lost interest after 10 years...and yes I did everything I could (and still do) to keep her emotional needs satisfied.
We've been to therapy, doctors. She just isn't interested anymore....

So what do you do then? You go out and get yourself a mistress. One that has a husband who also isn't interested anymore. And life is grand again. I've been with my lady friend for 8 years now. And yes....both of our marriages survive (even got better without the tension). We even love each other...but the golden rule is to never hurt our spouses or families.

But don't do what I did unless you absolutely have tried everything else. And after that give it alot of thought. I know some of the females here are going to flame me....but I do love my wife. I really do. And I would never hurt her ever! Theres no guilt here....I have a wonderful friend who I share some intimate time with when we can. And I have my wife, who I truly love. I'm not upset with her at all. Nature decided that sex was no longer part of her life. So I share other things with her as much as I can. But being a man I have phyisical needs, just as my mistress does. And this we share together
discreetly.

[clark926]

Im hot and dying for sex call me now i need a chat 07840842861 or thats +447840842861 for people outside england

[KirstyM]

"When I was 4 years old, they tried to test my IQ.
They showed me this picture of 3 oranges and a
pear. They asked me which one was different and
did not belong. They taught me different was
wrong."

you think different is wrong
different is not wrong man

I dont think being different is wrong. Hence the quote. Pointing out the fact that we are brought up to believe that if something is in the minority or "different" then it must be wrong.