Stress

[Commendable]

Does anyone else ever get tired of the stress involved with being in a relationship?

I guess i"m just a typical paranoid girl in that I worry about stupid things.....
I"m sure in time things like this won't stress me out, but our relationship is new....we haven't built up a trust system yet.

An example is today, I called the bf after class( I always do) and he kinda blew me off? Not really.....I mean we spent most of hte weekend together and his parents made me dinner and invited me over.....had great sex w/ him later.....but STILL when I call today to see if he wanted be to drop by after class he told me he wanted to take a nap and he'd call me tomorrow.....(he works midnights, so I guess it's understandable) but we've pretty much chatted at least for a few mintues evey night since we've met if we don't actually see each other.....
I just kinda felt like he was blowing me off.

I'm crazy aren't I???????

By ex was really into me for the first 4 months and then lost interest and we had a long drawn out break up....so I think now I'm always going to be worried about the guy I'm with losing interest....

I know he's a nice guy, heck he called and apolgized twice the other night for feeling like he forced me to go home when I didn't want to(I did, I was sleepy and they were smoking pot, which I don't do, so when he asked me if I wanted to take off I said I guess so).

I hate being a clingy paranoid girl.....

[Only-virgins]

I didn't read your thread post, sorry, but I just want to comment that "STRESS SUCKS!". I have it everyday.

[Ellynn]

Its understandable that your feeling like this....considering things in the past. I even have this issue to when I get into a new relationship. Its so new....everything seems good...and you get the deep feelings....and you dread the day when he tells you goodbye.....or that he isn't into you anymore.... ALL becuz of some ex in the past who did this to you....

But you have to keep in mind....hes not your ex. Hes a completely different person... If you don't let the past go and just go with the flow with whats happening now....then your just setting yourself up to get hurt....or setting yourself up for the relationship to fail all becuz you were paranoid... I mean you might really have something here....but you really don't know until you try..

Keep in mind......sometimes its good to have space from each other. If its ALOT of space....then yeah I would be worried. But every now and then isn't a bad thing. IN fact it can actually make you appreciate the other person more. Plus you will have more to talk about.......etc...

So stop stressing out so much and just go with the flow.. Don't worry unless he really gives you something to worry about.... Good Luck!

[Commendable]

Thanks, Ellynn....everything you said is very true.....I just have to keep all of that in mind.....

[Bluevetteracer]

Does anyone else ever get tired of the stress involved with being in a relationship?

I guess i"m just a typical paranoid girl in that I worry about stupid things.....
I"m sure in time things like this won't stress me out, but our relationship is new....we haven't built up a trust system yet.

An example is today, I called the bf after class( I always do) and he kinda blew me off? Not really.....I mean we spent most of hte weekend together and his parents made me dinner and invited me over.....had great sex w/ him later.....but STILL when I call today to see if he wanted be to drop by after class he told me he wanted to take a nap and he'd call me tomorrow.....(he works midnights, so I guess it's understandable) but we've pretty much chatted at least for a few mintues evey night since we've met if we don't actually see each other.....
I just kinda felt like he was blowing me off.

I'm crazy aren't I???????

By ex was really into me for the first 4 months and then lost interest and we had a long drawn out break up....so I think now I'm always going to be worried about the guy I'm with losing interest....

I know he's a nice guy, heck he called and apolgized twice the other night for feeling like he forced me to go home when I didn't want to(I did, I was sleepy and they were smoking pot, which I don't do, so when he asked me if I wanted to take off I said I guess so).

I hate being a clingy paranoid girl.....

HE was probably stoned, that is why he needed the nap.

Pot, is a drug, and is for the weak minded, and for the man that cannot be. Instead of living a life and becoming a man, they hide behind the comfort that the drugs afford them, for the moment.

Find someone else.

[vashti]

He sent you home so he could smoke pot? Yuck. Lose him.

[Pears]

Ellynn, you had some pretty good advice.

I agree with Bluevetteracer and vashti. Smoking illegal drugs is not a good sign. I always stay away from those people because all of the ones I've known that smoked pot have ruined their lives and their relationships one way or another.

[Ellynn]

Ellynn, you had some pretty good advice.

I agree with Bluevetteracer and vashti. Smoking illegal drugs is not a good sign. I always stay away from those people because all of the ones I've known that smoked pot have ruined their lives and their relationships one way or another.

I agree with this too. Never really cared for the pot smoking, pill popping guys.....but to each their own.

[Commendable]

I grew up around it....so to me it's nothing more than a cigarette. I"ve never done it personally but my dad has since he was my bf's age. So I know it's something I can live with.

Hey don't they say girls look for someone like their father, boys someone like their mother?

He didn't send me home becasue he was going to......they already were.....I think he thought I was going to be bored beacuse I don't smoke it. So asked me if I wanted to go home, I was tired so I said 'sure'....

btw, yes I was being paranoid..he apologized for not talking with me for a few mintues at least, before he took his nap.

[Bluevetteracer]

I grew up around it....so to me it's nothing more than a cigarette. I've never done it personally but my dad has since he was my bf's age. So I know it's something I can live with.

Are you parents still married?

Hey don't they say girls look for someone like their father, boys someone like their mother?

They say that, but no, it is not true

He didn't send me home because he was going to......they already were.....I think he thought I was going to be bored because I don't smoke it. So asked me if I wanted to go home, I was tired so I said 'sure'....

Well, I see where you stand on the priority list. Drug users often do not like Non-Drug users around when they are using. It reminds them of their weakness, and is almost a like a human mirror showing them their shame and failure.

btw, yes I was being paranoid. He apologized for not talking with me for a few minutes at least, before he took his nap.

I can give you a piece of advice, but you will not take it, you will have to learn on your own.

DUMP him, and find a man that will treat you with respect and dignity, and that will help you and you him, to be the best you can be. How will it feel when your kids want to play outside and dad is stoned on the couch. Or the extra money for the trip to Disney was spend on weed. Or, the greatest line ever, "I was stoned, she meant nothing, it will never happen again".

BUT, you will go through life dating guys like this, even marry one, because you refuse to set standards for yourself, and you will not enforce limitations on how you will be treated. So you will go from one bad relationship that you cling way too long to, until you wind up a late thirty-something has been with 3 kids from different dads. And this will be the time, that you realize, I was right.

The choice is yours.

[Tone]

I can give you a piece of advice, but you will not take it, you will have to learn on your own.

DUMP him, and find a man that will treat you with respect and dignity, and that will help you and you him, to be the best you can be. How will it feel when your kids want to play outside and dad is stoned on the couch. Or the extra money for the trip to Disney was spend on weed. Or, the greatest line ever, "I was stoned, she meant nothing, it will never happen again".

BUT, you will go through life dating guys like this, even marry one, because you refuse to set standards for yourself, and you will not enforce limitations on how you will be treated. So you will go from one bad relationship that you cling to way to long to until you wind up a late thirty-something has been with 3 kids from different dads. And this will be the time, that you realize, I was right.

The choice is yours.

And this is why Bluevette should never be allowed to leave LF, let alone be forced out!

I really hope you take his post to heart.. you can save yourself a whole lot of pain and anguish.

[Commendable]

First off there's a thing I believe in called abortion and I ain't having no kids.

So it's only ever gonna be me that's going to have to deal with him.....
and I am up for that task......I honestly don't think smoking pot is that big of a deal.
But to each his own I guess....I'd rather him smoke pot, and get rid of the cigarettes he smokes....which he has already cut back to half that he was smoking when we met.

He really is the nicest guy I've ever met.....and the greatest in bed....

And yes my parents are divored.....had nothing to do with the weed.....but I won't discuss their business on here.

[alice]

First off there's a thing I believe in called abortion and I ain't having no kids.

So it's only ever gonna be me that's going to have to deal with him.....
and I am up for that task......I honestly don't think smoking pot is that big of a deal.
But to each his own I guess....I'd rather him smoke pot, and get rid of the cigarettes he smokes....which he has already cut back to half that he was smoking when we met.

He really is the nicest guy I've ever met.....and the greatest in bed....

And yes my parents are divored.....had nothing to do with the weed.....but I won't discuss their business on here.

good girl, stay the way you are and NEVER listen to bluevette!

[Tone]

First off there's a thing I believe in called abortion and I ain't having no kids.

So it's only ever gonna be me that's going to have to deal with him.....
and I am up for that task......I honestly don't think smoking pot is that big of a deal.
But to each his own I guess....I'd rather him smoke pot, and get rid of the cigarettes he smokes....which he has already cut back to half that he was smoking when we met.

He really is the nicest guy I've ever met.....and the greatest in bed....

And yes my parents are divored.....had nothing to do with the weed.....but I won't discuss their business on here.

Wow this makes me very sad.

I honestly don't think smoking pot is that big of a deal.

Of course you don't, he could murder someone and you'd find an excuse for it. I bet if your boyfriend was ANTI-WEED, you would RIGHT NOW in this VERY post be talkin about how anti-weed you are, how disgusting it is, and how "big a deal" it is to you, etc etc.. I'd be willing to bet everything I own on that.

But to each his own I guess....I'd rather him smoke pot, and get rid of the cigarettes he smokes....

Yet... he's... still smoking cigarettes... so basically that sentence there is.. worthless?

which he has already cut back to half that he was smoking when we met.

Cut back, good for him. But he's still doing it.

Whatever.

It's your life.

[alice]

or – in that particular case – tone.