The Return

[Zekk_T_Strife]

So recently I was talking with my ex (as we do quite often) and she was upset over things her mother was saying to her (as she is quite often) and it was a pretty average conversation. Until the bomb struck. We were chatting away and at one point she told me that I would be the perfect husband and that she had no idea why she broke up with me for the stupid reason that she did (she was interested in hooking up with someone when she went to Texas). She then began to rattle off all of my qualities as to why I was the perfect man and how she regretted our breakup and wanted to "marry me and have all my babies". I told her to sleep on it because she was clearly emotional from her talk with her mom but in the morning she felt the same way. After talking a little more, however, she realized tthat it may be a good idea to just be single for a while. However the dilemma still remains. I'm very unsure about getting back into that, but if she were to approach me with it I'm even more unsure I'd be able to say no. Should I remain distant to the situation until she figures out what she wants? What do you all think about it?

[Rach]

Hmm, that's a tough one. If she's still unsure, yes definately give her her space. But more importantly what do YOU want. If you have no intentions of getting back with her, then you should definately tell her that so she doesn't sort through her emotions and really decide she wants you back...that would only be fair.

[Zekk_T_Strife]

{sigh} That's the roughest part. Would I want to be with her? Yes. Would I be happy with her? Yes. Would she do the same thing to me again? Probably not. What's stopping me? Someone else. I'm REALLY interested in someone else at the moment. It isn't anywhere near fruition, it's more like a big big crush right now. I dunno exactly what the best course of action would be.

[Rach]

Well, that is going to be a tough choice to make right there. Having to choose between someone you know you'd be happy with or someone new. What happened to end things between you and your ex? I think you should just follow whatever your heart says at that very moment...and try not to think too too much of the what if's just think about who you think you'd be happier with.

Good luck with everything!

[Zekk_T_Strife]

Well, my ex had a teaching job in texas over the summer a year back. She knew a guy over the internet there and broke up with me because she wanted to hook up with him. She did and he was her first, which tore me apart.

[BillyGalbreath]

Well, I would like to give you advice, but I dont know.. I am kinda in the same predicament you are in, and at the same time I'm in the predicament she is in.. Destine wants to get back with me, I dont talk to her, I try my hardest to avoid her, and I know I dont want to get back with her, and all that good crap. And yet at the same time, I want to get back with Robin. I did the exact same thing to Robin as Destine did to me. The same thing your girl did to you. I left Robin because I wanted to get with Destine...

Honestly I want to say give her a chance, because thats what I would want Robin to do for me... But then I want to tell you to stay away from her, because thats what I am trying to do to Destine...

Sorry I cant be of much help dude.

[nomas]

I only recommend that you not let pride be a factor. The fact that she broke up with you for the wrong reasons or what not. Sometimes that makes people realize how stupid a decision they made in the past and they grow and maybe now she's more focused on what she wants and can appreciate you better.

But also, I say think with your head. It's easy enough to lie and some people just don't like to be alone, so to get you they can maybe be a little more docile or, just altogether a different character which is not in their nature to hook you initially. Just be wary of that, I'd say, otherwise, measure your risks and bet on something.

Freddie

[Killerbabe]

Yay! Congats, Zekk! Seems like things are going well for you! (Doesn't it feel awesome when someone loves (likes, admires, fancies..) you so much they tell you things like that?) Clearly, she's still in love with you, and moreover, appreciates you more. Go for it!

[Zekk_T_Strife]

UPDATE: If you thought the original situation was hard to decide on, wait til you here this. Enter girl number 3. This was my first crush and first kiss. We didn't talk for a DAMN long time but now she works for me, is having trouble with her boyfriend (and wants him gone) and we're both super flirty with each other. When it rains it pours.

[jane]

ok.. Im gunna try and take a stab at this one. Maybe its me, but from what you describe, it sounds as if she is very uncertain about what she really wants. Im not sure how her mother got you on the subject of why you two should be together and start a family .. but its a interesting segway into a convo about relationships.. dont you think?

I know that the two of you have some history. You can tell that you still have feelings for her. However, she did break up with you too "be with" someone else. Thats a sort of thing someone does out of the illusion of a relationship... make sense?

What is so interesting to me is that in one sentence you say ... " I told her to sleep on it because she was clearly emotional from her talk with her mom but in the morning she felt the same way." ... but then you say .. " After talking a little more, however, she realized tthat it may be a good idea to just be single for a while." ... Id be curious to know what in that little time in talking changed her mind about marrying you and having your childen? ...

She obviously cares about you.. after all.. sometimes women look at their "x's" as safety nets in dating.. been there .. now what to expect .. kinda thing. This decision is ultimately up to you but I would caution on getting back into this deep meaningful relationship with someone who is really showing signs of not really knowing what they want.
Hope it helps.
~ jane

[Zekk_T_Strife]

Well basically I don't feel as though she needs to run back to me. She can do much better and frankly I'd like to see her run to me for support but be able to find someone truly able to fulfill her, I would not. It didn't change her thoughts about wanting to be with me and make babies, it just helped her realize that before rushing into anything it may be best to take a break from the dating scene. And her mom didn't even bring me up in her talk, she was just basically bashing my ex's current boyfriend for his inability to be what she needed.

She said she talked to him and that he said he's gonna make it up to her and prove his love for her. Personally I don't think he's going to end up making the cut, but if he does I'll applaud him. When I love someone I don't ever stop, so he'd better make damn sure he's what she needs.

[sweet200]

When I love someone I don't ever stop, so he'd better make damn sure he's what she needs.

Wow what a strong statement above. Well seems like both of you need alot of soul searching.

[Zekk_T_Strife]

Soul searching? That's a very broad term without much actual meaning behind it.