Is this an age thing, or am I making an excuse?

**SecretlySad** · 12-01-10, 08:08 AM

I am just wondering whether the issues I have in our relationship are age related or not?? I am 27 and he is 44.

- He gets upset about things that I can't understand are even an issue.

- When we fight he stops speaking to me, completely shuts down. I know a lot of guys do this but because of our age difference I feel like a child being punished. Even when I apologise or tell him I want to talk about it he continues to ignore me.

- He constantly thinks I am attacking him or there is nastiness in my comments. He always doubts me but if I even show a hint of doubt towards him he becomes insulted.

- If we get into a screaming match it seems like he can say whatever he wants, but if I say similar things directed at him he goes off his brain and tells me I am being disrespectful.

- When we are out, if he has upset me and he thinks what I am upset about is silly, he won't try and fix the situation but instead tell me if I am going to be "cranky", he is going home - almost threatening me like a parent would.

Am I crazy here? Am I the bad guy? I always feel like it.

**girl68** · 12-01-10, 08:12 AM

Sounds like he's 27 and you're 44.

I don't think it's an age thing if he was 27 and acted like this the problem is the same. He seems like a relationship newbie. The way he conducts himself when problems arise is a terribly immature.

You 2 need to discuss problem solving skills. You should discuss this when there isn't a problem on the table.

**jessZ** · 12-01-10, 10:04 AM

Ugh, he sounds so immature. Ditch him I say. Unless he is willing to seriously work on his issues, but somehow I doubt it.

**Gigabitch** · 13-01-10, 12:37 AM

He's a total asshole, and will be when he's 94. Stop wasting your time on this man.

**Petit Papillon** · 13-01-10, 12:59 AM

and he gets mad when you dont swallow!? next time tell him he's ****ing lucky you suck his ugly old dick... what a prick, dump him!

**Chupacabras** · 13-01-10, 01:07 AM

He's a passive-aggressive douchenozzle.

**shheadz** · 13-01-10, 02:24 AM

Geez.. You guys are attacking the guy, and you don't even know an ounce of the story. The OP should tell us what he gets mad about that she thinks is a non issue. A lot of guys do shut down for a while when they're angry. What is she saying that he interprets as being nasty.

All I read here was one side of nothing.

**Gigabitch** · 13-01-10, 03:14 AM

He's the same guy who gave her a raft of shit for not swallowing when she gave him a blowjob. He sounds like a great big wiener to me.

**cake85** · 13-01-10, 03:19 AM

i don't think the age difference is the problem here...he is the problem!...he sounds like a guy with a lot of issues that he needs to work on.

**shheadz** · 13-01-10, 03:23 AM

Originally Posted by Gigabitch

He's the same guy who gave her a raft of shit for not swallowing when she gave him a blowjob. He sounds like a great big wiener to me.

Oh! haha.. In that case, what a douche bag.

**qwertz** · 13-01-10, 04:19 AM

like i said..bite his dick off

**SecretlySad** · 13-01-10, 06:04 AM

Originally Posted by shheadz

Geez.. You guys are attacking the guy, and you don't even know an ounce of the story. The OP should tell us what he gets mad about that she thinks is a non issue. A lot of guys do shut down for a while when they're angry. What is she saying that he interprets as being nasty.

All I read here was one side of nothing.

Well, yes, as some people have mentioned, there is that...

I still can't quite believe we even had an argument about that.. anyway.

Ok... examples. Ummm... ok a few weeks ago our city had a bus strike. He told me that he saw on the news that I could go into the city and get free transport on the trains. When I got to the train station all the gates were closed and no one was around so I had no choice but to buy a ticket. I told him I had to buy a ticket and he said "I TOLD you you could get free transport!!! Didn't you believe me????!!!". Completely went off over something so small, made it about him, and obviously didn't understand the situation at all.

Last week I had gotten all upset because I was in debt with him - I pay him my money for the week and he puts it all towards our bills etc. The next day I cancelled an appointment I had made so I could save some money. I was telling him about my day and I slipped in that I cancelled the appointment and he immediately assumed the very worst of me "So is this you trying to make me feel bad because you owe me money?? Is that what you're doing??!" he asked. Once again I was blown away that he got so mad about something not even related to him.

He always thinks I am out to get him and people are disrespecting him. I can never seem to stick up for myself either. My mom was petrified of my dad any time he got angry, and always apologised to keep the peace, even if she wasn't in the wrong. I have become the exact same person and I hate it so much!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**qwertz** · 13-01-10, 06:47 AM

leave the dickhead

**shheadz** · 13-01-10, 07:40 AM

Woh.. You need to get far, far away from that guy.

**SecretlySad** · 13-01-10, 07:53 AM

It's just so hard. When things are good he is the most amazing person I have ever known. He is funny, caring, kind and everybody loves him (my family especially!).

Part of me doesn't want to lose him out of my life but I am just sick of constantly having to defend myself.

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