Amazing boyfriend, Not-so amazing lie...

[Neverbug88]

Hello everyone,

I have this amazing boyfriend who I've been dating for about 7 months. Previous to dating, we were very close friends for 1.5 years. Before dating me he was dating a girl who was all once a good friend as well. They were never in a relationship.. but they were involved and their were feelings. They also collaborated on art projects.. and still do to this day.

Sometimes their relationship makes me uncomfortable.. as they are ex's... however they only really hang out to work on art projects, they rarely hang out socially. Things got intense, when I told her how I felt and she ignored me. I told my boyfriend how I felt and told him I needed boundaries.. that for now I would like if they could just focus on only the project and not hang out beyond that. He agreed.. and told me he would tell her. However, it turns out that he lied to me. He didn't tell her, but told me he did.

Once it was found out, I confronted him and he explained that he felt I was making him end his friendship and he didn't want to lose a friend. He said he was resentful that I was controlling him. To an extent I agree, I wasn't best.. I pushed too hard.. but still he lied.. is it justifiable?

Somedays it seems like he agrees that boundaries need to be set... other days he doesn't want them. He had said after this project was done.. there would be some space.. but then he mentioned starting some else.. and it really upset me.

At I wrong for wanting boundaries and needing some space between? Should I continue dating him after he lied like that? Is it resolvable?

Otherwise though, he is amazing. He hasn't lied to me before. He has inspired me to be a better person.. he has done a lot for me. I think he has a hard time with this ex situation because he truly wants to remain friends...and doesn't understand how it hurts me.

Thank you!!

[Boisdevie]

You are trying to control him. Give him your trust otherwise your relationship is doomed. Get on his back like this and he's going to feel very pissed off. And I am speaking from experience.