he's mixed up! help! please!

[stardust]

i'm so confused. id been wiv my ex for 2 years and it was great. everything seemed fine and i was so happy. but then he started to change his prioritys and became confused and mixed up, always spending time wiv his mates, and forgetting me, as a result of this attitude that he sed wos all in my head we broke up! i would be able to accept that but what upsets me is that he still loves me and he makes that clear to me. he says he doesnt want to b wiv anyone else, only me, but at the mo just being on his own makes him happy??? the thing is i love him so much but it hurts to b told this, i hate his confusion. whats so difficult??? what should i do people? i dont want to move on and find someone else, but i equally dont want to sit around for someone who says he wants to b wiv me but just "not now" please someone help!! it doesnt help that wer at the same uni either, hes always around!! and when he does see me he just treats me lke a mate, and well it hurts to go thru 2 years togeva and then suddenly just b mates, help! advice needed!!!

[Ericka]

I have been through this (read my recent post)and believe me it is normal for you to be hurt, the only thing i can tell you is to focus on you, you , you first and last. time will dissipate the hurt but it is not fair to you to have to wait until he makes up his mind and decide what's going to happen, you shouldn't let other people dictate what you are going to do with your life , it isnt fair to let yourself be put in this position, find a hobby, go to the gym , do the things you want to accomplish, buy self help book, surround yourself with friends and family and talk, let it all out.

[gsgann22]

good advice, also it sounds like he wants you as a "fallback" plan, if his mates are busy and there's nothing better then he will take you. Do NOT let him do this. I know it hurts but you are a special person with a lot to offer someone but you shouldn't have to take a backseat to anyone or anything.

[stardust]

thanks alot, thats really helped. i guess ive just gota get on wiv my life and try and not revolve it aroud him anymore, its just so sad. when u meet someone so special to you, you think youl be wiv them forever, its so sad how it ends, thanks x

[Colleen]

You are still so young and there might be another forever chap just around the corner. Do NOT give your ExB the impression that you are waiting for his choice. I understand to SOME extent his wanting to have some "me time" but he doesn't need to be stringing you along, too. What will attract him is a sense of strength from you, and you should fake it until you can make it real. Don't be mean to him or anything. Just act like you are totally at peace with his decision. Don't be available all the time. Do the things others suggested (I take long runs, read movie star bios, audition for plays, anything to get my mind off a break up.) Time helps. It really does.

Take care and give it time.

Colleen

[Insomniak]

I can't agree more with the fact that time will help. It sounds like such a cliche thing to say, but its the truth. There really is no way to avoid feeling hurt when you know in your heart that you are in love. Believe me, I've been through it more than once and what makes it worse is when you don't get closure. I recommend communicating what you think and feel, and would hope you get the same regardless of the outcome. People all too often bottle things up because they are afraid of what may happen but if you don't have the trust and "ability to do that with your sgnificant other, what basis do you have for the success of a long-term relationship...In my experience, not too much and "not now" isn't a good enough explaination. Just like "its just not working out"...Those tyes of lines are cop-outs. And if that person can't do better than that, then you should make the choice to move on and choose to deal with the pain. For in the LONG-run, you will be better off and much happier. But it will indeed take time.