Am I Over-reacting?

[Koi Fish]

Hi all. I'm a bit skeptical about posting here because I feel like I really should be able to handle my relationships on my own, but I'm sick of asking myself the dreaded question:
Am I over-reacting?
So. Here's the scenario.
I've been dating a guy for about five months now. He's eight years my senior, but I don't have any issues with the slight age gap. He's an amazing guy. I appreciate his humor and his intelligence and his practicallity every time I'm with him. The problem? I'm not with him very often. If I had my way, I'd spend a lot more time with him. I don't think he feels the same way. The vibe I get is that I'm someone he spends time with when he isn't doing his own thing. I've realized that he's quite a lazy guy. Despite being enrolled in his super super senior year of college, he likes to sleep a lot of the classes away--waking up at around 6 in the afternoon after going to bed at around 6 am. He then picks me up from my dorm and drives me to practice (we both fence) and after that I might spend the night at his place or I might not. The issue is that practice ends around 11. By the time I get to his place I'm so tired after a hectic day of classes and practice that I just want to go to bed. So when I'm actually with him, I just want to sleep. And that's pretty much what I end up doing.
I wish he would take the initiative to do something during the day. I keep hoping he'll call and ask if I want to go to lunch or if he can meet me after class and we can wander down a certain avenue near campus and just look at the shops. But he does nothing like that. I brought up the issue to him and he says: but we see each other every day! And after practice we normally get something to eat anyway! I tried to tell him, yes: but we do that with a bunch of other fencers. It's never just you and me. He asked if I didn't like hanging with other people. I said I did, I just wished there were times where I had him to myself. He answered that I'm with him alone at night--where I lost my temper and snapped that: I'm SLEEPING at night because I actually GO to class unlike a certain SOMEONE.
Needless to say, that conversation didn't end well. He seemed confused by what I was trying to say and then he just got flat out irritated.
I guess what it boils down to is that I'm the one who always seems to ask him: Want to go get food? Want to go to a movie? Want to do this? Want to do that?
When he says yes, he always invites other of our team mates along. Not once has he said: Hey. Do you want to do this with me? Just you and me? How does that sound?
He seems content with the current schedule. I'm not. I wake up each morning hoping that today he'll actually call just to call, or text me asking if I was hungry but day after day I'm continually let down. At first it didn't bother me, but now it's just depressing.
Am I expecting too much of him? Or am I justified in wanting a little more reciprocity from this relationship? And if I am justified, how do I tell him what I want?

[starbuck]

Hmmm, reading your post it makes me wonder how compatible you and he really are. He sounds laid back (or lazy), and you sound like more of an ambitious person who sets goals and meets them. This difference in lifestyles could have a very negative effect on your relationship down the line. And it's already causing you problems. I would think about whether or not this guy is worth it quite honestly. Here's why:

He's going with the flow and you're doing all the work in the relationship. That doesn't sound like fun for you. You shouldn't have to work that hard. Your interests and goals should match already. Not perfectly, but closely. At least that's the idea.

You can express your feelings to him and see if it makes a difference at all. If he's afraid of losing you, it might. But in my experience, people are hard if not impossible to change especially as they get older. If there are qualities about him that you don't like, I doubt they're going to go away quite honestly. When you date a guy, you need to remember to date the guy that he is, not the guy you want him to be. If there are too many things there that you can't live with, maybe it is time to re-evaluate things.

[Koi Fish]

Hmmm, reading your post it makes me wonder how compatible you and he really are. He sounds laid back (or lazy), and you sound like more of an ambitious person who sets goals and meets them. This difference in lifestyles could have a very negative effect on your relationship down the line. And it's already causing you problems. I would think about whether or not this guy is worth it quite honestly. Here's why:

He's going with the flow and you're doing all the work in the relationship. That doesn't sound like fun for you. You shouldn't have to work that hard. Your interests and goals should match already. Not perfectly, but closely. At least that's the idea.

You can express your feelings to him and see if it makes a difference at all. If he's afraid of losing you, it might. But in my experience, people are hard if not impossible to change especially as they get older. If there are qualities about him that you don't like, I doubt they're going to go away quite honestly. When you date a guy, you need to remember to date the guy that he is, not the guy you want him to be. If there are too many things there that you can't live with, maybe it is time to re-evaluate things.

Oh wow. I hoped the response wouldn't be as dire as that but what you're saying makes sense. I am more ambitious than he is in a lot of things...except probably in the fencing. The problem is, despite having to shoulder the workload in this relationship, I can't see myself ending it. He means too much to me, the stupid lunk head that he is. I've thought about it, toyed with the idea some. I even told him maybe we need a break so that we can reevaluate things but he dismissed that as a bad idea.
I think some of the issue is that he's been in a far longer, possibly deeper relationship than I have. He's dated someone for four years. My longest relationship is this one. Maybe he's expecting things to develop over time, but if so he's being very laid back in his approach.
I thought about just not going to practice, just to see if he takes the initiative for once in his life and finds alternate ways to do stuff with me, but I can't do that. I love fencing too much to give it up just to prove a stupid point.
Like I said: before, I didn't mind his attitude but now it's starting to really get to me. One of my close friends and fellow teammate talked to me online a bit today before she had to leave to go walk around the mall with her boyfriend, just chilling, enjoying each other's company. It was when I realized how awesome that would be, that I got really depressed about this whole situation.
I refuse to believe we're incompatible. If only there was some way to make him pick up the slack in the line. That's the only problem I have with him. Aside from that, he's a wonderful, faithful, hilarious guy and I'd hate to end things just because I'm the one doing all the work. I guess I'd also hate to realize that ending things would mean he isn't willing to change...which means, I cared more for him than he does for me...And that's another downright maudlin thought.
Sigh.

[starbuck]

I wish I had something more positive to say, Koi. He doesn't sound like a bad guy, just a little clueless. Just make sure you're not making too many excuses for him. That is how we start to "settle" for less than what we need in a relationship.

[o00oo00o]

I think I have a similar behaviour like you bf, I never initiated anything. My wife is pissed off sometimes, I tried to change myself for her.

What you need is probably just tell him what you want. Tell him you want to spend time with him, just the two of you. Men and Women think differently, don't expect him to understand you and vice versa. Just tell him directly what you want. Thats it.