Isolation

[clearskies]

If you do not feel lonely, but on the contrary you prefer living alone, doing things on your own, enjoy your days off and wks infront of ur laptop/TV/Satellite away from others even if they are around, is that a normal behaviour or unhealthy thing to do?

I would reckon that is due to mistrusting others. Someone might fear being stung or stabbed from the back again, so one tends to live lonely as much as he/she can. Is that the case?

[Tedel]

Somehow, I was sure it was you who started this topic

Well, I can say I am an expert in isolation (basically because nearly every highly-gifted faces strong isolation problems), so this is how I see it. If you reject socializing, you are either scared or quite selfish —my odds to the latter.

Distrusting people you don't know is normal —you don't know if they want to be your friends or just kill you, after all. However, if you don't trust anybody, then I would think you have been abused in the past.

As you see, it is normal to be somewhat alone now and then, it is normal to distrust, too. What is not normal is staying in thos extremes. That hurts a lot in the long term.

[clearskies]

Why are you sure it is me who started the topic? This post is not about myself. On the contrary, I hate being lonely and try work and work until I became workholic to avoid being isolated. It is a relative of mine who behaves like that and I am surprisd why he is doing that while members of his family are all around him. I also think that the way he is brought up might also lead to that case.

[Tone]

Maybe cause your threads usually have a negative association?

[lastwish]

wanting to spend time alone is normal. Someone might just like their independence more than others.

[Kiechi]

Why are you sure it is me who started the topic? This post is not about myself. On the contrary, I hate being lonely and try work and work until I became workholic to avoid being isolated. It is a relative of mine who behaves like that and I am surprisd why he is doing that while members of his family are all around him. I also think that the way he is brought up might also lead to that case.

Oh, the irony.

[anachronistic]

Loner here. I prefer spending my time alone. I would very much like to live alone, in solitude. I dunno if I would spend my time sitting in front of my laptop all day, or watching TV, but I do like spending it alone. I always have. In fact, my mother always tells me about how I was when I was a boy... she says I would just play in the corner by myself, quietly. I didn't bother anyone, and nobody bothered me. It never bothered me.

To tell you the truth, I never even think about it, haha. I am too busy theorizing, philosophizing, or whatever you call it to even remember that I am by myself. That's why my friends are always telling me that I don't talk enough... I am too busy imagining that the atmosphere is liquid, questioning morality, and just completely random thoughts that my mind goes on a loop with.

I could not have it any other way. I am not an attention whore, and a lot of the things I do, requiring being alone; art, fishing, computer programming, meditating, just about everything. Sometimes I can do it aroun other people... I can fish with my friends, I can play guitar for attractive young females.. but I can't really concentrate... when I do that, it's more of a social thing than it is when I do it alone. To tell you the truth, I would just be a waste of space; an animal; a walking void of human potential. I still hang out with people though... I spend time with my family, I go out to parties, I sit around with my friends from time to time... but only a few times each week. The rest is dedicated to me, what I want to do, what my mind focuses on, whatever.

I actually get annoyed when I am around people. It is like a claustrophobic feeling... I can only spend so much time around certain people before I snap. You know what I think it is? I think it's just my aggravation for idiots. It is easy to get on my nerves. It's gotten to the point where I can predict what most people say before they say it... and conversations just become a test to see who is the most mysterious.. and whoever is more mysterious is a better friend... or something like that... and then I have my friends who I can trust with my wallet, but not really because they whisper to each other when I am drunk and not looking.... you know, some people are just idiots. I have met a few, though, that I really do enjoy, that I can spend a lot of time with. One of them is the girl that I really like at the moment. Another one would be my step father, when it's just me and him. Some of my college buddies too, who I actually started a small little 'group' with. That's an instinct feeling, by the way... it's one I know is right... it's not something I've just wondered for days in and days out. I know for a fact that I just plain don't like hanging out with idiots... which is the vast majority of people. But then again, even those I really do like, sometimes I have to get away from... simply because I prefer being alone, and always have.

It is not a hereditary gene, because I am the only person in my family (besides my aunt) who is not a party animal. Haha, I am also the only person in my family (besides my aunt) who is ambidextrous.. but that's another story for another time. Hey wait a minute.. I guess it could be hereditary because my grandmother was not really a part animal either... and she was ambidextrous until they forced her to be right-handed.... Anyway...

Here's my Spiel on 'normal'; normal is bullshit.

What you should instead focus on, is "how does this impact my life?" Does it have a good impact? A bad impact? That's how you should focus. Because this is a world full of parallels and extremes are circles that never end. In my case, isolation is usually and generally good.

So in the end, I think you are asking the right questions... haha, you are kind of following me in my footsteps, with the questions you ask.

I hope this changes your perspective on things

[clearskies]

So in the end, I think you are asking the right questions... haha, you are kind of following me in my footsteps, with the questions you ask.

Thank you anyway. My real problem is a bit different from yours, I enjoy talking and talking if I could 24/7 because one of the basic skills of my job is communication and it is all much about talking which is really good for me. It lifts my spirits while being with people.

I hate being lonely that is why I work and work so I would be surrounded by people most of the time fearing isolation. I did not mean friends as unfortunately, I do not have many of them because of my travel here and there during my life. I can not settle down in one country for more than three years, that is my maximum in one place.

[Illusional]

if you don't trust anyone, what's the point of living?

raverboy

[Tedel]

Well, Clearskies, I knew it because the title of the thread (as well as many of your posts) show, in my very humble opinion, a low level of self-esteem.

Back to the question, I think you should remember something: Just as you need to get exposed to some illnesses so your body can learn how to beat them properly (namely, vaccines), your soul needs to get exposed to many kinds of people so you can learn how to deal with them properly as well.

Be yourself, it's not worth trying to be anybody else.

[boobaa]

if you don't trust anyone, what's the point of living?

raverboy

Point of living is learning. Period.


Life is like a search, you search for answers, like what to do with your life. How much things you should have, how to trust people, are you doing the right thing. If your life is absolutely fulfilled, enjoy it and you are ready to die peacefully.

[clearskies]

About satisfaction, Is there anyone on earth who could say 'I am satisfied'?
I think only a few.

[boobaa]

Satisfaction? Satisfaction of what, yourself, ego? That is an interesting thought. If a person feels like he has given enough to the world, is he feeding his own ego with that? Then what is the right thing, to feel nothing?
There are probably some monks, not necessarily all Buddhists, who have gotten their mind so cleared that they don't feel the need to think about such things. But still, in my opinion, they are individuals, and we can still talk about ego. But nature once is that way, based on ones individual needs.

[clearskies]

satisfied for me means content or happy with the way you are... I never felt that way..

[Lipp]

Hmm, there's some kind of mental difference I read about months ago, can't remember what its called, but its uncertain whether it is a disturbance or just a different condition.

Anyways, it pretty much went down to a person with it often being content with being on his/her own and never had any real need or desire for regular social interaction. I don't see a problem with it.