Situation

[WARDOG]

I'm in a situation. I had a long distance relationship for five years and things were great, then out of the blue she broke it off. She knew I wanted to get married for the past three years but I could not get her to make up her mind to move, or me to move there. She broke up with generic reasons, and that she wanted to find out who she is and find herself, good reason to throw out five years of love aye? I never smotherd this girl that's not me, but she also said a couple hurtfull things.

The problem is after her avoiding me for three months and me ceasing to contact her or e-mail her anymore after about a month after the BUp, and making sure this is what she wanted to do.

You see we both are clan founders and head admins in a gaming clan, so we are forced to communicate some times. I was pretty torn up after the break up, and she was too. I guess the reason for no contact, so I followed her lead with this. But after four months she shows back up in our TeamSpeak chat and starts talking to me as if nothing happend like we are old chums again, this was a bit uncomfortable for me but am getting used to it now. I do not discuss us or the relationship nor does she. I am still hurt but am getting over it slowly but surely.

The problem is I think she is sorry for the breakup because in another forum we frequent I spotted a post she made about music stuck in your head. The song she posted could only relate to us and nobody else if you watch the vid and pay attention to the lyrics it is self explainatory.

Look up this on You Tube

I'd come for you Nickelback lyrics

I gave her lots of space and refused to follow her around all this time even though she tried things like posting sexy pictures in other forums to make me jealouse, I just ignored all that. Now I see this and I am confused. I was not in a rush to find some one else after this untill I got my head strait and became myself again with confidence which I am.

I always felt she made a mistake and didn't know what she wanted, and maybe one day she would regret it and come back, but is this a sign that she is feeling that? I keep our conversations to just simple small talk everyday events nothing too personal, and sometimes I stay away for a week or two and so does she, the silence trip, like I said it's a bit still hard to do this and be the kind of best friend I used to be to her before we met, I don't feel that I should be her best friend anymore, so I might start cutting it short and make an excuse to have to go..

So what do you girls/guys make of this situation, continue what I am doing and she may come back. She is not saying anything yet, if this is what she feels in the vid at the moment. So I just ignore it and move forward, but am puzzled by it, and trying to figure out how to prepare myself if she does want back and if I would want her back. We were very close with each other, and the relationship was not bad. I think she just had a midlife crisis at 38 and lost her direction.

I am getting the feeling she is waiting for me to start a conversation about us, but she is the one that broke up with me, and I already aprouched her about this quite a while back, and she made it clear we had no future, so I am not about to start this, she will have to if she's interested still.

[Bumble_bee]

I am getting the feeling she is waiting for me to start a conversation about us, but she is the one that broke up with me, and I already aprouched her about this quite a while back, and she made it clear we had no future, so I am not about to start this, she will have to if she's interested still.

well you kind of answered your own question there....

If she said no future then thats what she said.
If she is giving you mixed signals, and cannot be bothered to get to the point (if she is trying to get back there with you) then as you said, wait for her to do the asking.

[WARDOG]

Yeah but what would be going through a girls head when they tell you they don't feel the same about you anymore, we have no future, I need to find myself and who I am, I don't know who I am, then break up, not hardly speak to you for 3 months, then start talking to you, then post something like this in a forum.

Maybe they could feel this way but yet not do anything about it still? I refuse to be turned into a push me pull you with my emotions. All I can think of, if it is true, is she never really knew how much she loved me untill I was gone, now what do some ladies here think?

There are all kinds of things that went through my head when she broke up, maybe another guy, but I am sure she is not like that, and I was very good to her, perhaps too much.

So if this happens I am not sure how to take it or procede, I know there will be difficult issues and trust to build back between us, I have never been in an ex wants you back situation, and I know most of the time it's not good, but it depends on how things went down and how close people are to begin with, some times it can make things better than before.

[Bumble_bee]

The meaning of what she said is - I am not sure what I want, I need space to figure it out, I am interested in other people, and I want to see other people- ( Just my opinion)

But again you have answered your own question, if you decide to give her another chance, ( and you seem emtionally intelligent enough to know that she is in fact trying to make another connectio with you) then you guys will naturally have to build on the trust issues, how close you are now and how close you were back then.

I dnt know what other perspective you can get on this, as it seems to me you have it. good luck