Should I send it or say it?

[csp_dan]

I've been trying to say this to a girl I like for awhile now, but I just can't do it! I just become too happy in the moment and I can't bring myself to break it! I hate it.... I have never been so afraid of telling someone how I feel. Ever.

So I wrote a short email below.... I really have no idea what to do... I love her friendship, but I can't see myself being content with it; my feelings, I think, will eat me up inside. What I'm thinking right now is try and meet with her one last time and just spit it out, and if I can't just send the email. Man I hate this. Help? How would you girls react if you liked the guy back? How would you react if you didn't? Any advice? My confusion is that when we're together it feels right, its just when we're apart I'm getting mixed signals from what you would expect of someone who likes you.

Anyway:

--------------------

So I have some reservations about doing our project, let me explain.... it has nothing to do with the actual idea. I love it. If a stranger came up to me and pitched it, as long as that stranger weren't super weird, I'd jump. But its you, and I need to be transparent and go from there - Its just I think I have feelings for you and if that isn't reciprocated, well, this is ultimately toxic. I'm sorry and I can't help it. So I guess that's that, and I really have nothing else to say . I wonder how, or if, this'll work out. Maybe it doesn't, and maybe that's okay?

[stevejohnson197]

hmmm....

i'm not sure what to say here...let me stew on it...

[Gigabitch]

If you don't have the balls to tell her in person, you'll never have this girl.

[jessZ]

Hmmmm I think the tone of your email is rather negative and it makes you sound insecure. It sounds as if you are totally expecting her to reject you. My advice is to tell her in person. It doesn't have to be elaborate or anything, just tell her that you think you have feelings for her and then let her respond. You'll know pretty soon if she feels the same way. Most girls will be honest if approached directly.

[csp_dan]

thank you, yeah I think I have to, it does no one any good if I don't I reckon. I just don't know how say it without it sounding all dramatic, I mean it shouldn't be something I ought to be embarrassed by, right? Unfortunately, logic seems to go to shit in the moment. It just seems so weird saying something like "I think I have feelings for you" out loud.

Heres the kicker: when we first met a couple of months ago, we were both just friends, and she was seeing someone.... I did not let myself feel anything but friendship for her during that period. Then she was single for awhile and I let myself start to feel this way.... but the last time I saw her she said something like, "did I tell you I was seeing someone new?" She didn't talk about him for long, maybe one sentence, probably because I was a little unresponsive.

Then we proceeded to hang out for like fourteen hours!!! (working on a project together... but it was really quite unproductive in respect to work). If I moved into her space she wouldn't move back, and she moved into my space too. We hold eye contact, we smile, we laugh all the time. I would've said it then, but the mention of another guy just threw me way off (he is real for sure, not some mind trick... I don't know how serous it is, prior to Christmas I guess they'd see each other once a week (for a little over a month), I haven't talk to her in person since Christmas). In regards to the project I was not the one who initiated contact (in fact, we didn't talk for two or three weeks after I got a text from her saying she was "on a date"... I figured I'd just cut my losses back then, and then wham).

The optimist in me says she actually does like me, but wants me to make the first move. The cynic says she just wants a friend. But I know guys, in general, do not spend and invite to spend this much time with girls they're not interested in to some degree. Is it the same with girls? BUT on Christmas I heard nothing and got nothing (I texted her merry christmas, she texted back, that's it)....

It just seems more.... what's the word, risky, in this situation, putting myself out there. Maybe I should just say no I can't work with you and go? I feel like if I explain why I'd be giving some kind of ultimatum, which I don't want to do, but I guess is the case.

and as much as I value her friendship, its really not in my nature to be that guy who's friends with a girl he likes romantically. I think thats headed bad fast.

crap. advice? please?