What if you live together?

[Sifter5]

What happens if you are living with someone and you don't want to be living with them anymore? Or maybe just that you want to break it off all together. I've been having mixed feelings lately. I kinda want to be able to be single again, but I do love my gf.. she just makes me mad sometimes and some things about her that I don't like. We've been together for a little under a year now. We ended up moving in together pretty early due to some circumstances with where she used to live. I kinda want to be single again or maybe just not living with my gf.

My question is have any of you ever been in this situation and if so what happened? Do you live with it and fight it out or just say see ya? I mean how do you really know if you want to keep sticking with it or just move on to the next thing ya know?

[TAVS]

Ummmmmm.... I dont think the "not living with my gf" solution isn't the best idea. It'a really hard to take a big step back like that. But then again, what do I know.

What exactly is the living situation? House? Apartment? Whose name is attached to whatever. I think if you've been with someone for a while, and then find yourself dis-interested, it's time to cut bait. Dont waste eachother's time.

Let me give one disclaimer though, I always suggest you let the other person know your feelings first and give them time to improve the relationship if they want to. That's my biggest complaint when recently getting dumped....I had no idea there was a problem and was never given a chance to show her I could make things better.

[Lloyd95]

IMO living together is a MUST before marriage. I know some will disagree, but you can really tell alot once you live with the person. I say if you really care about her, you have to give it a try. It's like a trial marriage, but better, /c if you split up, no harm no foul, at least in the case of getting assets split etc. But, just as in a real marriage, you have to work at it to make it right, it's not just like moving in together will all of a sudden make it good; the "Honeymoon" phase will eventually be over.

Also, you're age? Because if you've sewn those "wild Oats" etc. and experienced "life" if you will, then by all means try to make it work.

If you're younger, <25, and this is one of you're first serious relationships, maybe it is best to part ways, b/c you may always end up thinking "what if" or "could I have been happier/done better?"

[Sifter5]

Yeah I'm only 19. This is my most serious relationship so far.

[brkn dreamz]

Sometimes when you love someone a lot but either you or the other person wants to be single, the best thing to do is let them go. If you stay in the relationship it could get worse where you feel like you're forcing yourself to be with this person. If I was in your situation I would just throw that person out ... LOL.. j/k I would say talk to that person and arrange some sort of agreement on moving out or working to live with each other but not being "together".

[Sifter5]

Yeah it's my place - but the thing is I couldn't bare to kick her out. She'd have to go back in living with her parents and I know she'd hate that too. I care about her a lot but sometimes i'm just getting tired of it ya know? I can always keep stalling the situation and just keep going but i feel like I'm cheating her and myself.

I just don't see myself with this person a long ways down the road, I don't know if its the person, or just me not wanting to have a long term relationship now. I just don't know what to do. I'm feeling unsure about everything. Like when I'm with her it's usually ok, but sometimes even then I just have to put on a front. Other times it's great and everything's fine. Then sometimes when i'm not with her i just keep thinking about stuff like breaking up with her or what would happen.

I don't know if its just me psyching myself out or not. Another thing is that i'm a pretty visual person... i like to have a nice looking gf, but in this case i took a little ding in that category because she was cool, but now i find myself wanting more. I just don't know. We've been together so long(for me) and it's just so hard. I'm a nice guy, I don't like to make people sad or hurt... I'd never cheat on a girl either. I dunno what to do... or what not to do.

[shh!]

Let her go back to her parent's house or find a new roommate. You are too young to be playing house. Of course, she will not take this well, and that will be the end of you two (unless she guilts you into letting her stay), but it is wrong to keep living with her if you have no long-term interest.

[brkn dreamz]

If you don't see her in your future don't let her think that she will be. I've been there and it really does hurt a lot to think all that time this person wants to marry you. You'll do yourself and her a favor by being honest about it. As the days go by it will hurt more and more if you wait it off or if she finds out (for some odd reason) that you felt like this for the longest time.

[Ellynn]

If you seriously are having doubts about living with her....and you don't think things will change....then get out of the situation. I mean don't stay living with her for the wrong reasons.
It will just make both of you more unhappy in the long run. Im sure she can find another roommate....or something. Same with you.

[Sifter5]

Yeah... those are good points. I was talking to my friend last night about it and got to get a lot of stuff off my chest about it. It just makes me sad because sometimes i totally like being with her but i still just don't see myself with her in the long run... it hurts because i care about her a lot but if i don't do something now I think that it will only get worse.