Torn and Confused, Advice?

[Anna4326]

Hi all,

Just recently I’ve run into yet another relationship dilemma, and would like to get someone else’s take on the situation… therefore I've joined this forum looking for some advice. This situation has been playing around and around in my head and is about to drive me nuts!!

Anyways… this past weekend, out of nowhere, my ex gets in touch with me. We’ve been broken up more than a year, and I have no idea why now he wants to talk.
Here’s some background:

The two of us met, and fell in love… and without hesitation moved in together after 6 months. I thought the guy was great, he was good looking, very professional, intelligent, wonderful to me… all of the above. However, when I met him, he was still living with his parents (at 23 years old.). He swore it was just a temporary arrangement, and I believed him. I thought as soon as we moved in together, he would just go back and visit every so often, and that his parents wouldn’t bother us too much… WRONG. In the 6 months that we lived together, we never spent a weekend together- we were always with his parents, who lived a good 70 miles away, or I visited my home every once in a while (150 miles away) just to escape his parents. (by the way… there’s nothing technically wrong with his parents, they’re just hillbillies… sigh). I couldn’t be around them more than a day or so without going nuts. Nevertheless every weekend. Nevertheless sleeping in their living room on an air mattress every weekend.

My parents started to notice that I was seeping into depression and doing badly in school due to the affect HIS parents had on me. So, after we had dated for almost a year, (and were still living together) the guy asks my parents for permission to marry me… which they told him, absolutely not. We then started having lots of problems and broke up shortly afterward. He stopped talking to me altogether… would not tell me what was going on… what was wrong… etc. etc. He would always run to his mommy and daddy’s house and leave me there wondering… what the hell?? He definitely had confrontational issues… for example, when we were home… he would go in the other room and log onto his computer messenger and start chatting with me to try to talk things over…. WHILE WE WERE BOTH THERE. Guess he preferred the computer screen to my face. Haha! When I would try and go reason with him face to face.. he would say… I’m going home… see you later. Pffffffft!!
Anyways, shortly after… he dumped me, had his mother and father come get his things and moved back home. He still lives there today, and is 25 pushing 26 years old.

In light of all this… just this past weekend he sends me an email. (we’ve had no communication for over a year) He starts telling me what a mistake he’s made… how he’ll never find anyone as great as me… that he misses the times we had together. It came to me as an emotional slap in the face. Wow…

I tried to look past all the stupidness with his parents… I really did hope that he would grow out of it… move on. But, I guess he never will. I really did love him as a genuine person, and that is why this is so hard for me, despite how ridiculous this whole situation may sound. Him contacting me brought back so many memories that we’d shared together. I don’t think I’ll ever get over it.

As soon as we broke up (almost immediately) I found another guy to date. He actually has his own place!! lol…
I have come to love this guy and appreciate what he gives me, and nonetheless I don’t have to deal with any more parent drama. We’ve been together over a year now, and honestly it’s a breath of fresh air.

My ex realizes that I have found someone else to be happy with, and in his email he’s writing all these sappy things like “Well, if I can’t have you, at least I know you’re with someone that you love and will treat you right,” or “I’ll probably never find someone as great as you, but as long as I know you’re happy, at least I can sleep better at night.”
These all make me feel.... ugh… I am just so torn.

Advice? Sorry for the long rant.

[carl1222]

Advice for what? What are you considering doing?

[Anna4326]

well, he wants to try the "let's just be friends" thing... which I am skeptical about. I was just wondering if anyone has ever continued a "friends" realtionship with their ex, without it being more trouble than its worth??

Thanks.

[Gigabitch]

Being friends with any ex is nearly impossible unless the reason you broke up is that you realized that you had NO chemistry together whatsoever. At least one person usually carries a torch, and that is NOT a friendship.

Cut ties with this big baby. He's a waste of your time.

[Anna4326]

Ok, so that was definitely response I needed. I've decided to cut all the communication with him- it's too emotional, and not worth it. Time to move on.

Thanks.