Some Crush Advice - facebook rejection?

[adobekobe]

*********UPDATE********************

Thanks for the replies everyone..

After reading all of the comments, up to MVPlaya's, I decided to end things with a simple wall post. I basically said too bad we couldnt hang out and have a safe trip back to school.

Funny thing is, she replied almost right away saying "thanks" and "yeah its a shame."

I don't want to overanalyze this, but does anyone sense a bit of sarcasm in the reply?
I mean, she did choose to ignore my invite for several weeks ..lol


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Hey all, just wanted to get some advice/opinion on this matter.

So, I met a girl who was on break from college during christmas week through some mutual friends. I thought there was a mutual attraction, though we didn't get to talk much. I added her on FB the next day and messaged her saying "we should hang out again." She replied saying we should. After a few back-and-forth messaging, I invited her to a hangout with mutual friends, which she politely declined (saying she had a friend's bday to go to that day).
After a few more back and forth messaging, I suggested we should grab some coffee sometime (on FB messaging, not chat).

She never replied. It been about 2-3 weeks now, so I'm taking it as a rejection of some sort.

My question is, should I give up completely and block/ignore/un-add her? Or should I message her one more time and tell her to have a safe trip back to school (shes taking a plane back this week). I feel like I've already taken a shot to my pride (getting FB rejected), but I'm a considerate guy and would like to end with some type of positive rapport with her. I don't want to be one of those sycophant guy-friends that cling to pretty girls, waiting to pounce in the right moment.

Based on what I've heard of her (from our mutual friends), she's high maintenance and very picky (since she has so many guys at her feet - from her close friend)

Anyways, what does you guys/gals think? Should I be the nice guy and wish her a safe trip back? Or play the bitter dude and block/un-add/ignore her? She's already ignored me/ "rejected" me in a way, so I got nothing to lose

[of.the.room.]

i feel like im reading one of my own stories....ive been here before.....if you really like her, i suggest you try once again....but dont block her or ignore her....just stay friends, even if she rejects....

i guess what you should think is.....if she rejects you once again, then things will be as they are right now, meaning that you and her wont be together.....but if she accepts, then things will change.

just dont give up if you really like her, i cant tell you how many times ive given up and i really regret it!! by the way, next time you send invite her, drop a nice compliment...something unique! GOOD LUCK!

[adobekobe]

Hey of.the.room, thanks for your reply.

I definitely know what you mean by regretting the decision to give up on a great girl.

The thing is, I don't know her that well (we've met briefly about twice) and from what I've heard, she's pretty stuck up. That said, I'm not going to make any assumptions about her true character or anything like that - it's simply too early.

As of now, I am completely ready to let go and go our own way. The hard part is trying to figure out whether I should be nice (after a facebook rejection/ignoring from her part) and end things with a "have a safe trip back" message...or de-friending her from FB. Thing is, I think FB "friended" her too early, so that whether I play nice or just ignore her, I still have her listed as a friend (A friend that I don't know too well either). It seems a bit pointless, and annoying, to have a girl that "rejected/ignored" you be a constant reminder of rejection..lol

So yeah, I'm not head over heels for her or anything - I don't know her enough. All I know is, she's leaving on a plane back to college (in-state, faraway), and she ignored my invite for coffee a few weeks ago. I'm ready to let go, just trying to figure out which way to go about it

[sAsAk1]

I feel like I know this story... There was this guy on FB that added me after I spoke to him a bit and he asked if I wanted to go to the movies with him. I said that was fine, I thought he was cute and it was worth a shot. But then during my vacation I met (well not really met but saw again after he broke up with his gf) this guy and I really really like him now. So when the FB guy asked me again about the movie I didn't know what to say and just didn't send anything back... Am I a horrible person? I just think there's probably a reason why she didn't reply...

You don't have to de-friend her to send a message or anything, just don't do anything about it. If she's interested she'll act on it. If you're ready to let go just ignore it and don't think about it.

[Coco]

You don't have to delete her as a friend but don't say anything at all. If she posts a status to her feed about her returning to school. reply saying have a great trip and leave it at that.

[MDBreye]

What is with all these facebook rejection threads.
FYI, not everyone goes on the computer 24/7. And just know there is an option to disable notification. So no, not everythign is forwarded to email. It's VERY easy to overlook that little tiny list in the top right corner saying "+1 friend request" among the trillion other things. including events, invites, groups, messages ect.
But you get my point, my facebook is a mess. Many inbox notifications, wall posts, status updates. It's hard to keep up with hundreds of people on a social networking site.
Do yourself a favor. Try a text or phone call. Or an email if you're more comfortable. Facebook just doesn't cut it when you want to invite someone to do something.

[Luca]

I would advise against blocking or deleting her as a friend. She may notice that you deleted and/or blocked her. Probably not....but there is a chance. I hate it when I like a guy as a friend, but not as more, and he gets upset and deletes me. It makes me feel like in their head if I am not willing to sleep with/date them, I am not worthy of any contact.

Girls talk too, so keep her as friend. If she likes you as a friend, she will speak well of you, and she could have some cute friends who you could have a relationship with. Think of it as good marketing.

Another option when you don't want to delete someone, but you don;t want to always see their updates is to hide them in your news feed.

[MVPlaya]

Where do you get by being bitter? There is no point being childish and creating social awkwardness. She's not interested? Move on...

[Elle_Boogie]

I agree with Coco---do nothing. Make it seem like it ain't no thang, thats much more attractive than making your interest so obvious. If she were really interested, she would have made more of an effort. She might be slightly interested, but if you overwhelm her, you could easily kill it. To all guys---space and backing off always works better than pursuing a girl harcore. Females always want what they can't have, and don't want what they know they can have easily.

[adobekobe]

Thanks for the replies everyone..

After reading all of the comments, up to MVPlaya's, I decided to end things with a simple wall post. I basically said too bad we couldnt hang out and have a safe trip back to school.

Funny thing is, she replied almost right away saying "thanks" and "yeah its a shame."

I don't want to overanalyze this, but does anyone sense a bit of sarcasm in the reply?
I mean, she did choose to ignore my invite for several weeks ..lol

[starbuck]

You are overanalyzing, Adobe. You're never going to be able to truly gauge someone's tone over the internet.

The best way to get to know people is offline. I would chalk this one up to a learning experience and in the future, get a girl's number so you can call her to make plans. It's much more direct. Plus, you can actually converse with her! What a concept

[Lovable]

You are overanalyzing, Adobe. You're never going to be able to truly gauge someone's tone over the internet.

The best way to get to know people is offline. I would chalk this one up to a learning experience and in the future, get a girl's number so you can call her to make plans. It's much more direct. Plus, you can actually converse with her! What a concept

I totally agree with what starbuck said, face to face is so much better.

*sigh* Sadly though it seems face to face is a dying thing. It's all about the internet & knowing what a person means when they TYPE out a convo.

[girl68]

Based on what I've heard of her (from our mutual friends), she's high maintenance and very picky (since she has so many guys at her feet - from her close friend)

The thing is, I don't know her that well (we've met briefly about twice) and from what I've heard, she's pretty stuck up.

give up on a great girl.

Her friends are all saying she's a stuck up high maintenence 'picky' (I say that because 'picky' in this sense means selfish) girl. Call me weird but the minute FRIENDS are saying this that's a red flag. I don't care what you say about not knowing her, her friends do and they STILL say bad things...

And just a heads up the fact that she didn't jump at the chance to hang out with a guy she supposedly had great chemisty with combined with the fact she has guys' falling at her feet... consider this a blessing.

Be nice, don't unfreined her, but don't say anything back. And about what she said in her last post basically it meant "yeah, it's a shame I didn't accept your invite out on a date- it's a shame... for you not me."

[uri]

Facebook is not a good place to meet or talk to women. Neither is Youtube. I once pmed a girl I saw on Youtube that I was interested in but she didn't reply and didn't take me seriously.

Seriously if you want to talk to the opposite sex, the best place to do it is off the internet. But if you must, then there are some pretty good dating sites on the net. I recommend LatinEuro or amigos.