Six! year relationship..

[AmIEvil]

I'm totally at a loss here. I'm 22 years old, and I've been with my girlfriend for six years, give or take. I want out. I can't really stand being around her anymore, things are really dull. She loves me to death and is always always trying to be around me as much as she can. But I can't be with her anymore, for my own good and hers. It would be better for me, as I want to date again. I think it would be good for her, because the way I suppose I act lately towards her really hurts. It's a tough situation and I haven't broken up with her yet because it really hurts her and I feel like such a piece of shit. The thought of it bothers me because she is a really sweet girl, but doesn't have any friends left really and lives alone, her family is ****ed up and all. Any advice comments will be greatly appreciated...

[autobahn]

As much as you may hurt this girl by ending it, you have your own life. You are not obligated to her despite your six year commitment. From your description it sounds like she has other problems to deal with that are not your responsibility even if you care. Maybe you should suggest she receive some counseling. My advice for you is that you do need to break up with her, albeit in a kind and respectful way. She will be hurt, perhaps devastated, but is sounds like you are unhappy. You don't see a future with her and want to date other people. That means you need to get out. You are not being evil or a piece of shit if you break up with her. You are being true to yourself. No doubt it sucks and you will feel bad. But what are you going to do? Be miserable another year?

[cbee]

or worse be miserable for the rest of your life?

I think you've already made up your mind to do it, just if you are going to do it do it considerately and make it a clean break. DOn't end up yoyoing backwards and forwards at the end it will only make things worse

[luvtif]

why have you stuck around for 6 years??? this is gonna be a huge blow for her!!!!!!!

[Rach]

Hmm, you should never be in a relationship just because you don't want to hurt the other person. You have to think about what you want out of life. And being together for 6 years is a really long time when you're so young. You do need to see what's out there... How long were you feeling this way? If a long time, you haven't been being fair to yourself or your girl. You say you haven't done it yet cause it hurts her...well, I think putting her through this can be hurting her more.
You do need to tell her, but do it nicely...a blow like this can really crush a person, especially if you've been feeling this way for a while.
Good luck with it! Keep us posted

[blue]

i know how you feel except im all wishy washy about everything im just not sure we keep going back and forth , a week ago i was all for it and now i dont want it im so confused im exahusted of going back and forth on a constant........ahhhhh i just dont know.

[Frebbiezadyke]

leave now...im not trying to seem mean darling but leave now becouse trust me from expearence when u guys do break up the longer u stay together the more she is going to be hurt

[Jenrick285]

Its been 6yrs.
If you're not happy being with her, then tell her. I think down deep, she would want to know, and accept what you want.

[Frebbiezadyke]

word!!!!!!!!

[toto]

Its obvious what you should do but as someone who has been dumped after two years, you should be very careful how your relationship continues after you break up. Sometimes a complete break is necessary but a six year friendship is hard to wipe away. For me, we broke up but still (have to) live together and although it would kill me not to see her, its hard to wittness her move on. What would make it easier is making time for each other as friends. Maby thats worth considering, i know it would help me.

[soulbroken]

"She loves me to death and is always always trying to be around me as much as she can."

You could do worse, but you may be too young to know the difference. When you don't feel love, it's not because you can't feel love or won't feel love. And you can't really fall out of love either, it's something that you have to kill yourself. Six years is a long time, and there must be a strong base for it to have lasted this long. I suggest that you need to take your relationship to a whole new level. To a more mature state. To re-invent the wheel, so to speak. I know that I'll get flamed for this, but you can't just discard people because you don't feel right anymore. That is apathy. You need to sift through mountains of rubble to get a few gems, but once you have those gems you'll be rewarded for the effort.

Dating again may make things feel fresh, but is there any indication that if you latch on to another girl things won't be dull again after six years? Yours is a problem with the mood of the relationship. Try and find a way you could avoid going down the path of least resistance, and seek new ways and means of how you could best re-ignite the flame with her. Most people will feel the way that you have at one point or another. But having the pluck to see things through to the absolute end is a quality that very few people possess.

I wish you well, whatever your choice or decision may be. But take the advice of toto, and maintain a friendship. If she has no friends, her family is f*cked up and she lives alone, it would be irresponsible to leave her without any support or kindness, because she is going to know a lot of sorrow. That is how statistics happen. There is a duty of care that we should all offer to each other in these times, if not as a lover then just as a fellow human being.