She isn't very responsive with text messages. Should I just walk away?

[pisces7378]

I met this girl. I got her number. I discovered that she lives 5 doors down from me on my street. I texted her and invited her over. She came. We drank beer on my porch until 7:30 that morning. She wore my hooded Adidas sweatshirt home with her. I didn't kiss her, but I did hold her knees while we talked.

A week and several playful texts later, I asked her if she'd like to accompany me to a Fall Apple Festival. She agreed and we went. It was a fantastic day time date. It did rain the whole time, but we had a blast none-the-less. After the festival, I went back to her house, made dinner for her, and we drank beer and talked until 1:30 am. I did kiss her this time for about 2-3 minutes or so.

I wanted to give her space, so I didn't text her the next day. I didn't want to seem like I was coming on like a Sherman Army tank. But now I feel like I may have messed something up. I have tried to get a response from her, but she is just so spotty with text messages.

I sent her a text two days after we kissed that just basically said, "You were cool at the Apple Festival. I had a nice time w/ you." No response. Two days later, I text her to ask when she gets off work. She says she doesn't have to work. So I ask her if she'd like to do something that night. She says she would, but she already made other plans. I said, Awww, that's a shame. Some other time then.

And now today... I texted her that she should invite me over for lunch this Saturday so we could carve a pumpkin and watch a DVD. She never responded.

I just feel like I have put forth 100% of the effort here, and she just sits back and either tosses me a crumb, or she ignores me altogether.

I ran all this by a female friend of mine, and she said that by me "giving her space" i.e. playing it cool, after we kissed, I rejected her, and that was a turn off. So now she is hesitant to be excited by my texts.

So my only question is... do I keep on texting her everyday, and just keep it light, to show her that I do care about her. Or do I just drop off the face of the Earth and wait to see if she comes around and contacts me for once?

[Heratriumphant]

Do not keep texting her every day.

Send her something to the effect of "Hey I'd love spend some time getting to know you, give me a call if your up for it" and then let it go. Toss the ball in her court and let her handle it from there.

[siss088]

I'd say lay off the texting for a while. Hopefully it gets her thinking about you more due to the absence and perhaps will initiate something?

The post above is a good idea too... let her make a decision.

[qwertz]

definately put the ball in her court. shes probably not too sure after you played it cool after the kiss- for future reference its always good to send a msg or something afterwards that says something along the lines of 'i had a really good night' or whatever..so that she feels wanted etc.

[pisces7378]

I know you guys are right. It sucks too, because all this text bullshit has made me even more curious about her... and I hate that.

Before, I was like, "Well this seems like a nice girl. I think I'd like to get to know her more." Now, after a couple weeks of her basically quasi-blowing me off via text, I am almost on the edge of my seat about the whole thing.

It's definitely the not-knowing that is the worst. If she'd just say, "Look dude, you are a nice guy, but I just don't want to lead you on." That'd be fine. I could handle the kick to the balls, and move on. This stringing me along, blows!

I am decidedly picking up that she isn't into it though. My last two messages were...
"Maybe I just wanted to watch the DVD with you." and, "This is where you are supposed to invite me over for lunch..." And both of those went unanswered.

She'll answer any text message as long as it is about some dumb movie, or anything superficial. But if I even hint at getting to know her better or do something nice with her, those go unanswered.

Argh!!!

[girl68]

Hey why don't you CALL her!?

[pisces7378]

Hey why don't you CALL her!?

That's a very good point. Why don't I? I think the main reason is because she works so much, and for such long periods each day. She gets to work at 10:00, and then works until whenever lunch is over. Could be 1:30. Could be 2:45. Then she gets off for a couple of hours or so, and then goes back at 3:00-4:00 and works until the bar closes, which could be 11:00 or it could be 1:00. It just depends on if there are people in the bar or not.

Okay... all of what I just wrote is an excuse. The reality is, I like this girl, and I don't want to mess up. If I had just called her a month ago, everything would have probably been fine. But now that is has been a month of texting, and then the kissing, and the weird sporadic texting since the kissing... my head is not in a good place anymore.

Basically ladies... I've just got a good old fashioned case of the nerves. I am 11 years older than this girl, and she even told me herself that the last guy she dated was 11 years older than her. And she talked about him and how they only hung out a couple of times, but after that he started calling all the time and coming by the house etc.

It makes me very apprehensive that I am on track to giving her a repeat performance. I know she likes me. I even heard her telling her roommate what an awesome time we had. I just don't know how to proceed. If I do call her, what do I say? Do I ever address the sporadic texts? Do I ask, "So what's up with you not responding to my texts?" To me, that sounds like weird jealous needy boyfriend shit that no one wants.

[girl68]

I think you should call her.

You're right all of the above is just an excuse. If you get her VM leave one. I don't care what you know about her liking you. If she doesn't call you back the message is clear: she doesn't have time for you. Weather of not she likes you is irrelevant if she isn't going to make the time to see, call or text you that speak volumes about how she *actually* feels about you.

When you call hopefully you talk to her and if you do do not address the texts. Just try to talk to her, how is she, how's work, what fun things has she done lately, what fun things does she want to do soon and there is the gateway... ask her out to do one of those fun things she just mentioned.

If she truely likes you she will accept your invite and you hang with her.
If she can't go for whatever reason suggest another specific time or ask her when is good for her. If she really likes you she will name a time. If she doesn't she will say "I'll let you know" but she never does.
If she declines for whatever reason, you leave the ball in her court. Again, if she really likes you she will pick up the ball if she doesn't game over.

Goodluck.

CALL don't text- obviously texting has failed you. If you text I'm going to say "I told you so".

[Snootskie]

I wouldn't ask why she hasn't responded to your texts, if a guy asked me that I'd probably be more inclined to keep ignoring them but instead like others have said put the ball in her court tell her ( either via call or text) that you like spending time with her and if she wants to get together to give you a call.

[chorus]

I met this girl. I got her number. I discovered that she lives 5 doors down from me on my street. I texted her and invited her over. She came. We drank beer on my porch until 7:30 that morning. She wore my hooded Adidas sweatshirt home with her. I didn't kiss her, but I did hold her knees while we talked.

A week and several playful texts later, I asked her if she'd like to accompany me to a Fall Apple Festival. She agreed and we went. It was a fantastic day time date. It did rain the whole time, but we had a blast none-the-less. After the festival, I went back to her house, made dinner for her, and we drank beer and talked until 1:30 am. I did kiss her this time for about 2-3 minutes or so.

I wanted to give her space, so I didn't text her the next day. I didn't want to seem like I was coming on like a Sherman Army tank. But now I feel like I may have messed something up. I have tried to get a response from her, but she is just so spotty with text messages.

I sent her a text two days after we kissed that just basically said, "You were cool at the Apple Festival. I had a nice time w/ you." No response. Two days later, I text her to ask when she gets off work. She says she doesn't have to work. So I ask her if she'd like to do something that night. She says she would, but she already made other plans. I said, Awww, that's a shame. Some other time then.

And now today... I texted her that she should invite me over for lunch this Saturday so we could carve a pumpkin and watch a DVD. She never responded.

I just feel like I have put forth 100% of the effort here, and she just sits back and either tosses me a crumb, or she ignores me altogether.

I ran all this by a female friend of mine, and she said that by me "giving her space" i.e. playing it cool, after we kissed, I rejected her, and that was a turn off. So now she is hesitant to be excited by my texts.

So my only question is... do I keep on texting her everyday, and just keep it light, to show her that I do care about her. Or do I just drop off the face of the Earth and wait to see if she comes around and contacts me for once?

I have had 7 Girl friends so far and had sex with 4 of them. So, I think i can answer your query. So here it goes......

1. Don't do anything. Just concentrate on what you were doing. girls usually like those who are busy in their life. You did your job its her turn now. So wait and watch, But definitely don't keep thinking of her. Many girls come by in your life as you grow older. So, Keep it cool.

2. Don't try to impress her as it makes her believe that you are a pervert.

3. Don't give too much importance to her than your friends. Your friends are important as they were with you from long. If you start giving importance to this girl, it will ruin your basic life. Keep it cool until you both are intimate.

4.Never get too Personal. Give her some space and yo don't reveal too much yourself. Keep it less and let her wonder about you.

I guess that's enough

[Gigabitch]

She was just using you for your sweatshirt.

[IndiReloaded]

Hey why don't you CALL her!?

Exactly.

It took me 2 months to get around to answering a text from a close friend. So, unless you know she's a text-fiend and is just ignoring you, pick up the phone. You'll get your answer faster than the time it takes to read all these replies.

[Raze]

Call her. Texting sucks. Quite honestly, I hate delayed responses. If you talk to her on the phone, you will get a synchronous response instead of an asynchronous response. Texting is like sending someone an email. They will respond to it when they want to which could be never depending on what you say.

Everyone on this forum could vouch for me when I say that I texted way too much. I just came to the conclusion that I would stop being a whimp and just call, and it's actually helped out so much.

Women can be two-faced when it comes to text messaging anyway. They will tell you something on the phone different from their text message. Don't even text to make plans. If she texts you, then fine. If she doesn't, call instead of text, but never call saying "did you get the text I sent you?" That will make things awkward fast and the result won't be good.

And also, wouldn't you prefer talking to her? Your conversations will be more fulfilling if you talk to her on the phone rather than trying to text her.

Raze

[pisces7378]

Yeah... you see, the thing is that our conversations in "real life" are absolutely effortless. With my last serious girlfriend of 9 months, I have to admit now that our communication was NEVER effortless. There was always this slight blockage, or tension somehow. But with this girl, I can be myself instantly when I am around her. And she is way loose around me too. And she even seems like a pretty shy girl.

So the text messages are definitely not very "good for us". But I can't help but be affected. Maybe I am just being a little bitch. I wish I had just called her the next day after we kissed. Me trying to "give her space", I think just planted this virus in my head that has now turned into a tumor of doubt. And we all know that nervous self-doubt is to a woman what holy water is to a vampire.

Can I get an Amen ladies?!?

[girl68]

Amen!

Now call her you "little bitch" (your words). Goodluck.