Idea to ignite the chemistry with my gf who I love

[elny1]

Okay.. so my girlfriend and I both admire and love each other a lot. I've known her for 3 years. We've been dating for 4 months. We both are in this for relationship for long term. The thing is.. we both don't really know how to turn each other on or stimulate each other. I'm talking about sexual things as well as not sexual things. Like how to really surprise each other. I got this idea in my head to make her a questionnaire, then I was going to tell her to do the same for me.

Should I do it? I like to be creative but I don't have much to work with right now. I want to really know her drives so I can ignite them, and then have her be able to do the same to me.

[AnnonymousMan]

Sounds like you don't have much experience with the ladies, thats cool, there are tons of ways to get a girls blood pumping. Just remember that with a female its more about the emotional connection and a lot less with physical attractiveness. A questionaire might just make her laugh, try googling ways to turn a girl on, I mean come on, why ask this on a forum?

[Dune]

IMO, a questionnaire will make her laugh.. Just ask her. Get to know her a lil bit more. Prod a lil here and there. It's the fun of exploring, really. And although there are some general tips you can find on the internet, every girl has slightly different preferences. Find out her likes and dislikes plain and simple. Trial and error. Experiment. Ask.

[Boisdevie]

Questionnaire idea is really stupid. Kiss her passionately, touch her ass, touch her breasts, undress each other, have sex. Jeez, when I was a kid (many years ago) I didn't need to ask such a question on the internet - just came naturally.

[elny1]

She's quiet and shy. I need a crowbar to open her up. And I know what I want but I feel like she thinks guys only need physical attractiveness when there's so much more. I want her to be inquisitive of me too.

[elny1]

I think you guys are under looking the point. I've been with older women for the past 3 years and all women are very very different. My girlfriend is 22 and hasn't really expressed much preference.

[Riku]

I think you need to talk to her. Ask her what she likes, what turns her on. If she gets all shy about it don't just stop the conversation answer your own question so that you can show her she doesn't need to be shy and you are willing to open up as well and then push it a little bit back to her. Being able to talk to your significant other about sex and what turns you on and things you want to try I think are extremely important to having a fulfilling sex life with someone for the long term.

[elny1]

I guess I should have added this- we're long distance until late December, despite Thanksgiving week I'm staying with her for 6 days. Our love is moving way faster than our chemistry.

[Riku]

I guess I should have added this- we're long distance until late December, despite Thanksgiving week I'm staying with her for 6 days. Our love is moving way faster than our chemistry.

ummmm.....ok.....have you even physically touched her yet since you have been dating...or ever?

[elny1]

Yeah. Haven't actually seen her since late august. We talk every day. We've had plenty of sex in first 6 weeks. I also don't know simple things about her. Like if I had to order food for her and a drink I wouldn't know what she wanted. Or if I got her jewelry I wouldn't know what to get in any shape or form since I don't see her every day and what she wears. It's everything.

[elny1]

I already sent her the questionnaire with like 40 questions on it. I asked myself what's the worst that could happen, and really there isn't anything. This is not a deal breaker. She will at least think its cool that I am willing to be creative in finding more about her in our long distance.

[elny1]

UPDATE: My girlfriend loved it. She answered a ton of things and now I have them all written out. Now we can discuss and debate differences without arguing and be more open to eachother. Now I know exactly what she is going to want when we go out to eat. I feel like even people who have been together for years sometimes overlook patterns that a specific written out likes/dislikes/preferences questionnaire can answer. Or sometimes the person just forgets they even like something because theyre too shy to ever express it person to person. Here's what the email said. The way I see it this kind of stuff can open us up and now shes asking for a ton of things about me. This idea worked so well!

Hey sweetheart! I want to be able to surprise you when you least expect it. I need more material. Here's a fun questionnaire I made for you to fill out. Everything is allowed to have multiple answers and I encourage you to be specific in your answers even if the questions are basic. The end gets dirty. I don't want you to be shy at all on this. Nothing is going to be a deal breaker so be honest. I'll do anything for you but I need to know before I can do that! I love you baby


Favorite artists?
Favorite pieces of art?
Favorite band/musicians?
Favorite songs?
Favorite types of movies?
Favorite actor/actress?
Favorite tv series?
Favorite type of books?
Favorite authors?
Favorite books?
Favorite type of jewelry? Jewelry colors? Gold? Silver? Bronze? ect..
Who are your biggest inspirations?
Favorite type of cars? Trucks? Which do you prefer..
Do you prefer air conditioning or windows down in cars, or both at same time?
Favorite food(s) Breakfast,lunch,dinner, snacks
Favorite holiday?
Things that annoy you?
Sleep with fan on or off? Tv on/off?
What kind of gifts do you like most? (shoes, shirts, cds, movies, jewelry, ANYTHING)
Favorite types of earrings? Loops, small, ect..
Favorite types of clothing? Dresses, skirts, ect.
Favorite types of clothing on men?
Favorite color? Favorite color to wear?
Favorite athletes?
Favorite drink(s)? Alcohol/non alcohol?
Favorite straight shots, favorite bombs, favorite mixed drinks.
Favorite physical feature(s) on men.
What is your favorite way for us to have sex? What other positions would you like to try?
Do you like anal?
Favorite time of day to have sex.
Things that turn you on?
What turns you off?
What is your favorite type of underwear? thongs, cotton, hiphuggers ect.? What about for men? boxers, briefs, something else?
Do you prefer long hair or short hair on men? Does any hair on a mans body bother you?
Favorite things to do under the influence?
Do you like a lot of foreplay?
Do you have any sex fetishes? Or anything specific that will really get you going?
How do you like to masturbate?
How do you like to imagine me masturbating?
Do you like to cuddle? Yes/sometimes/no?
If you wanted to have sex with me and I was preoccupied how would you get my attention?