Does Long-Distance Romance Ever Work out ?

[maryann432]

I started seeing this 25 year old man last march. We were in love but he was going back to his home country in 3 months so tried breaking up with him so that I wouldn't feel too sad. I couldn't really do it though and although at first he was angry, we got back together.

Now it's been 2.5 months since he has been gone and I've been seeing other people, and I know he is seeing other people too. And we both say that this is hurting us. I try forgetting him and I try to cut contact sometimes but he says I should keep telling him about my life and I should visit him for as long as I want, and that we should have this unbreakable bond. We talk about marriage sometimes, although at this point it's impossible. Maybe in a few years..

Thing is, I really love this guy. I don't want to just let him go.. If I find someone else or if he does, which is likely to happen at some point, it will be so heartbreaking if we keep each other close like this.

What would you do ?

[Boisdevie]

What would you do ?

I would hopefully have enough brains not to get to this point in the first place. Here's a bit of philosophy for you: change the things you can and accept the things you can't change. He's no longer there so there is no 'relationship' is there? Just endless pointless communication via the messaging or text or whatever that will change absolutely nothing. So unless you have your own private jet and can just go and see him when you feel like it (unlikely) then accept that it's over. And stop wasting your bloody life.

[runnergurlie]

LDR's are hard. I wouldn't suggest it, unless the both of you are willing and committed to making it work. Ask yourself... do you really love him? Or do you love the idea of him?

[ZombieGirl]

Even if you really love him, I'm dead set against it. I was in one for many years and it was nothing more than a waste of time. Don't get me wrong, we were in love and we talked about nothing except finally being together one day. Everyone saw us being together and thought we were the most perfect couple who were destined for each other, even with the distance. Unfortunately, when it came down to the time when we wanted to close the distance after so many years, we knew our only option was marriage. While I had known this from the start, I'd never actually thought about it for some unfathomable reason. And so when faced with the decision to be married at only 21 when we had never even lived together... Well, it was a no-brainer and the relationship fell apart since I was strongly against getting married without living together and he was set on getting married whether I wanted to or not, and basically tried to pressure me into it by being a bully.

It was messy, painful, and I wasted many years of my life when I could have been having fun and truly seeking out the person I was meant to be with. I'm much happier now.

Seriously consider the long road that you have to travel down in order to get to the end goal of being together. In my opinion, it isn't worth it no matter how good you guys are together and love each other.

[michelle23]

Just cut all contact with him.