unacceptable behavior

[BFTrick]

My friend Jeff had his wedding last saturday. He invited our mutual friend Mike to the wedding many months in advance. Mike however missed the wedding (which was on a saturday as normal) to go to his gf's sister's highscool graduation which was on a sunday. He apparantly had to set up for the party friday and saturday and couldnt attend the wedding. We had to call him the day of the wedding to ask him where he was.

How can anyone do that? How can you skip your friends wedding to set up for a party. Now the gf lives 2.5 hours away. But anyone could attend the wedding, skip the reception and then take the drive saturday night. You wouldn't be there to set up for the setup. But the setup isnt mandatory. He just used it as an excuse to get out of a wedding so that he could spend more time with his gf.

In his defense he sees his gf 10-12 days a month in total.

I understand the need to see a girl. But this is unacceptable.

Post your thoughts. I hope you dislike this guy as much as I do.

[vashti]

Well, his girlfriend has more power than a bunch of male friends do because she is the one sleeping with him. Also, perhaps he feels a closer bond to the girl who is graduating. The part that seems the most rude to me is that he didn't decline the invitation before the wedding, and left everyone there expecting him to arrive.

[Gigabitch]

If it were his gf graduating, I could see how Mike would have felt torn, but it wasn't. It was her sister.

Was there any other possible reason for Mike to have wanted to miss this wedding, hopefully the only wedding Jeff will ever have, for such an easily missed occasion as party setup? Does he disapprove of the girl Jeff married, prehaps, or does Mike's gf not like Jeff?

IMO, that is pretty damned rude. I would be furious if someone didn't even bother to tell me they weren't coming to my wedding when I was expecting them. I'm assuming he RSVP'd and there was food ordered for him and a guest, bla bla bla.

Was he supposed to be part of the bachelor party? Might that have anything to do with him not coming? Some girlfriends find the bachelor party extremely threatening and will do all sorts of things to make sure their man misses it.

[anachronistic]

If it were his gf graduating, I could see how Mike would have felt torn, but it wasn't. It was her sister.\

ya. for **** sake.

[vashti]

My guess is that Mike doesn't value this friendship as much as everyone else thought he did/should.

[BFTrick]

Another thing is that I told mike a week in advance that those two events on the weekend would interfere, and he didnt know which one he would go to. And then the day of the wedding he was saying that he forgot.

Which makes me think he is embarassed by the decision he made.

Mike likes Jeff fine. I have never heard him say anything rude about Jeff's wife.

This behavior is typical of Mike, just someone with his prioities arranged differently. The type of person to not call you at all when his GF is in town. And then as soon as he is done with her (she can't see him right then or break up) then all of a sudden you are best friends again. It really pisses me off.

[tooxshort]

You know ... I understand this situation well ...

A friend of mine decided that he couldn't afford to go to my wedding (it's overseas), but not after telling me he would in January, February, March, and April ... He waited until May to instant message me that he couldn't make it ...

The thing that pisses me off is that I had his name printed on the invitation as a groomsman ... **** that ... He's cut out of my life ... After all the things we went through, he did me hella dirty this time ... I even got locked up in jail for that guy ...

Anyway ... your mutual friend is a ****in' dick ... graduations of girlfriend's sister's mother's friend's daughters will happen all the time, but a wedding is supposed to be a one time deal ...

[misombra]

now it's ****ed up if you're in the wedding for sure! but if not then i guess i wouldn't be mad. i'd be like, "who's mike?" and go about drinking all the alcohol. i'd get pissed if it were my best friend or sister or something.

[Gribble]

Weddings are incredibly boring and ritualistic. I don't blame him for dodging it.

I, sadly, am a groomsman for a friend's wedding which is coming up in a couple months. I'd give anything not to have to go.