I'll try to condense this
My boyfriend is almost 10 years older than I am: he's 43 and I'm 34.
Years ago (around 4 years ago) he was engaged to a woman for about a year and she left him for another man. It was devastating for him, involving addiction, cheating, and the destruction of his relationship with her children (she had 2 daughters from a previous marriage and he became close to them).
In fall 2015, almost 2 years after their break up, we began dating. At first, he seemed thrilled and couldn't get enough of us. He told me several times that he couldn't believe how lucky he was to have found me after all he'd been through with his failed engagement.
We initially dated for a total of 6 months. He ended up withdrawing emotionally, the relationship brakes were hit, and our relationship stalled. I was starting to feel hurt, as I had fallen in love with him and could feel that he was pulling away. He broke it off with me (one year ago this week actually) in tears, saying he felt emotionally ruined from his past relationship and didn't want to risk hurting me because he just wasn't feeling as strongly as I was. I let him go. I was beyond emotional, but I respected his decision. I didn't text. I didn't call. I didn't email.
Sporadically over the summer, he would text me. As the months went on, I was learning to just let it go and figured the next time he texted me, I would tell him to just leave me be: that I had no interest in just being friends with someone I loved romantically.
In August, after we'd been broken up for around 6 months, he contacted me wanting to meet up. I agreed, and we spent hours and hours talking. He told me how he'd made a mistake and realized it. He said I was the first person he'd dated after his failed engagement, and that he admitted that he wasn't ready for serious commitment when I was. He said he dated a little while we were apart, but that every date turned into a comparison of me and I was all he ended up thinking about. He said he wanted to try again, he'd taken me for granted, and promised he'd never hurt me again.
I agreed to give him another chance. Within a month, I found myself unexpectedly and very accidentally pregnant.
When I broke the news to him, he was supportive and calm and told me he supported whatever I wanted to do. I chose termination, as I've never wanted children, and neither of us have. If you're anti-choice, I ask that you spare your judgment and don't bother responding please. I do not want lectures or religious speeches regarding my personal situation.
I went through the termination alone. I sort of requested that it be that way. It was an emotional rollercoaster that made me only care about him more deeply.
We've now been back together 6 months, in addition to the 6 months previous that we were together. Granted, there was a large gap/break in between.
I'm feeling myself wanting more commitment and I don't know if I'm moving too fast or being too greedy of his time. I only see him 3 nights a week, if I'm lucky. He lives about 20 minutes away from me, and 98% of the time, I'm driving to see him. It's more than worth it, but I'm starting to get tired from the running and finding myself missing him a lot.
He's recently redone his living room, and has mentioned how he loves his place and has no plans to ever leave it. It's small, and there's not really any comfortable way both of us could live there. I don't know if I should take that as a hint.
I'm trying to get a sense of whether or not I should wait and let him bring this up. 6 months back together really isn't that long after a 6 month break and maybe I'm just being greedy. Also though, I feel after everything we've been through, 2-3 nights a week isn't enough for me and I don't think it's selfish to expect more.
i'm just looking for any thoughts anyone can provide