Keep falling in love with my best friend

[teddaniels]

Hi All,
Having read through this it's a lot longer than I intended but any help would be greatly appreciated

A while back, my best friend (boy) got with a girl at a party, they lived far away from each other and only over spoke over facebook and text. Being the guys best friend I befriended this girl on facebook and began talking to her, she was keen to have a relationship with my mate but he couldn't be bothered to commit to a long distance thing. Eventually they stopped talking but our friendship carried on. We talked a lot, all on the phone, over text, on facebook and video calling on skype, as we too live far away. We became extremely good friends for people who had never met. It wasn't long that close to a year went by and I was struck with the problem. I began to like her, a lot. She was attractive but most of all she was interesting, there was one day that we spent close to 5 hours on the phone and video calling, another friend who knew her began talking to her aswell and said she really liked me, I think we both mutually liked each other and decided to meet.

We met up at the summer of last year and although we got along great, things didn't go well. I told her I liked her and she rejected me, I was upset because things were great until we met up. I did the only thing I could, I told her I needed some time to be alone, our friendship was so strong before that I didn't want to lose it, I needed time to be alone to get over her. We didn't talk for about a week then continued our friendship, I knew deep down I wasn't over her but carried on anyway. Gradually we spoke less and less leaving us talking only once or twice a fortnight.

Recently (last 3 or 4 months) we began talking again, we never lost contact but we now talk all the time, about 2 months ago I fell into a sort of friendship love with her, I loved her like the sister I never had and she felt the same way. She always said 'love ya' to me, rather than 'i love you' because she wanted to make it clear the sort of love she felt, at the time I agreed, I didn't want things to be ruined and I only loved her like a sister. But then the problems began, we began to talk more and more and when I went to visit her I didn't want to leave to go home, I loved spending time with her, I wanted to spend every waking moment with her and I realised my friendship love had turned into a romantic love. I told my best friend and asked around and people said I'd have to tell her, I knew she didn't fancy me, she never has and probably never will.

Anyway I ended up going on holiday just recently, 10 days without communication was good, I went away very sad that I couldn't talk to her and by the end of the 10 days I was fine, I was hardly fussed. However I returned to a very sad her, she had missed me loads, still as a friend though. Having spent the whole day today talking to her I immediately fell back in love.
Earlier I told her I had to stop talking to her for a bit, she replied saying, 'are you in that place again', I told her all of the above and she said she was so upset I'd have to stop talking to her for a few weeks but she completely understood. I have deleted her off my phone and am ready to start a hard but useful month of solitary.

The problem is how long this will go on for, when i start talking to her I will no doubt fall yet again in love, she's the most amazing person, it seems the only way forward is to have a relationship (which she doesn't want) or to stop speaking all together which would kill me inside. I have watched 'When Harry Met Sally' and read all the articles about best friend love and it just doesn't work, I'm not particularly attracted to her I just love her company, I could happily marry the girl and spend my entire life with her. She loves my company in the same way, this is so clear by the way she talked after not speaking for 10 days and they conversations she had with my friends about how she misses me but she just doesn't find me attractive.
If anyone has had similar problems I'd really appreciate reading them as I need to find a way forward.
Thanks,
Teddy.

[MerryH]

The problem is how long this will go on for, when i start talking to her I will no doubt fall yet again in love, she's the most amazing person, it seems the only way forward is to have a relationship (which she doesn't want) or to stop speaking all together which would kill me inside.

I think it's safe to say that as long as she's in your life, you'll never stop being in love with her. You've tried several times to spend time away thinking that it will magically erase your feelings for her, but every time you go back to feeling the exact same way as before. Seems pretty clear that you need to fully end it for good with her.