How to make her realise she might love me

[lovinator]

It all started as a friendship but i always wanted more (met her 4-5 months ago). When i told her i wanted more she said it was all about bad timing that she didn't want to be in a relationship. After a few months she now said she is not in love with me but she loves me so much. Recently we had lots of arguments since I had too much feelings to just be friends. The thing is... the fact i don't want to talk to her to just be friends since i care so much and its not fair for me to care much if she doesnt want a relationship is driving her nuts and i think she might have feelings for me or else my decision would not affect her that much. Can time make her realize she maybe had stronger feelings then she taught ? can i do something to make her feel the ''butterflies'' she wants to feel to know she wants more then a friendship ? Is that ''love'' feeling possible to grow with time by dating ?

ps: both my friends and her friends are with me on this one... they all think she just doesn't realize she loves me more or else she would not care so much ! (she is very sad and cried a few times to them)

[lovinator]

I also have to say things almost stepped up while we were drunk once ! but nothing happened except grinding/dancing and crazy looks

i know i was stupid and didnt go for the kiss because she had asked me not to do something we could both regret at that time

[ellie]

There is just one way to find out. Move on. Don't contact her. Cut her out. If she loves you she'll step up to the plate and tell you once she realizes she might be loosing you. But do keep in mind she might just not like you "that" way. You can't help who you fall in love with. I wouldn't wait if I were you. You could end up waiting forever.

Best thing is to move on, and if she falls in love with you, she'll let you know and you can sort that out when that day comes.

Moving on/"no contact-method" is by the way the best way of "winning" someone back or attracting someone - because we all know that we want what we can not have. Win-win situation.

[carl1222]

There is just one way to find out. Move on. Don't contact her. Cut her out. If she loves you she'll step up to the plate and tell you once she realizes she might be loosing you. But do keep in mind she might just not like you "that" way. You can't help who you fall in love with. I wouldn't wait if I were you. You could end up waiting forever.

Best thing is to move on, and if she falls in love with you, she'll let you know and you can sort that out when that day comes.

Moving on/"no contact-method" is by the way the best way of "winning" someone back or attracting someone - because we all know that we want what we can not have. Win-win situation.

Ordinarily, I would say that the part in bold is absolute horsesh*t, but in these particular circumstances ... where the girl seems obviously confused about her feelings ... it might force her to focus on what she really wants, maybe you.

Ellie is quite right, though, that you don't really choose who you think of "that way" and it's impossible to force the butterflies to flutter even if you would otherwise be a perfect match. If her juices aren't flowing then you are wasting your time.

Carl.

[Gigabitch]

If you don't want to be her friend, stop being her friend. It's kind of like you want her to see you as a man and you keep showing up in a dress. Stop it.

[ellie]

Sorry Carl1222, that's what I meant, for situations like these. I wouldnt recommend the "no contact"-method for someone who just started dating someone, but to win someone back/point of no return/someone doesnt know what they want etc - yes.

And the "you want what you cant have" is unfortunately true. I wish it wasn't but most of the time it is. If you keep kissing their ass (not literally) you won't ever know if they're nice back to you because they're flattered/like the attention/want the ego trip, or if it actually is because they like you. Taking a step back forces them to face their feelings and make a decision.

[ellie]

And PS: Well I guess if you wanna force attraction there is that book "The game" or whatever it's called. There's PUA (pick up artist) books, there's a whole science about how to attract someone etc, if you believe in that stuff. But who wants to pretend?

I wouldnt want to force someone into feel attracted to me, it has to happen naturally.
You want someone to want you because they want YOU - not because you pretended to be/do something you're not.

[DarkAzrael]

It all started as a friendship but i always wanted more (met her 4-5 months ago). When i told her i wanted more she said it was all about bad timing that she didn't want to be in a relationship. After a few months she now said she is not in love with me but she loves me so much. Recently we had lots of arguments since I had too much feelings to just be friends. The thing is... the fact i don't want to talk to her to just be friends since i care so much and its not fair for me to care much if she doesnt want a relationship is driving her nuts and i think she might have feelings for me or else my decision would not affect her that much. Can time make her realize she maybe had stronger feelings then she taught ? can i do something to make her feel the ''butterflies'' she wants to feel to know she wants more then a friendship ? Is that ''love'' feeling possible to grow with time by dating ?

ps: both my friends and her friends are with me on this one... they all think she just doesn't realize she loves me more or else she would not care so much ! (she is very sad and cried a few times to them)

Have you tried roofies?

[lovinator]

i guess ill keep the no contact for 1-2 weeks and then see what happens

[aku738]

There is just one way to find out. Move on. Don't contact her. Cut her out. If she loves you she'll step up to the plate and tell you once she realizes she might be loosing you. But do keep in mind she might just not like you "that" way. You can't help who you fall in love with. I wouldn't wait if I were you. You could end up waiting forever.

Best thing is to move on, and if she falls in love with you, she'll let you know and you can sort that out when that day comes.

Moving on/"no contact-method" is by the way the best way of "winning" someone back or attracting someone - because we all know that we want what we can not have. Win-win situation.

Agreed with "ellie", sometimes girl needs more time to understand their feeling...

[aku738]

lovinator

re. didnt go for the kiss because she had asked you not to do something that both of you could both regret at that time.... Well, I think that is an obvious answer to your question.. to be very honest with you, I think she is not in love with you... She might love you as a friend but nothing more than that...

[lovinator]

i gave her her stuff back a few days ago ( she had clothes and stuff at my house) ... but she never gave me back my stuff

[lovinator]

Done deal... no contact since but still think a lot about her

[misombra]

that's good. it's really sad, but if she loved you she would know it.

i was in a similar situation a long time ago. i was pretty young and naive. i was friends with this guy and i did love him and care about him but not as a boyfriend. he was always trying to convince me that i loved him that way and would go to his and my friends and talk about how i was in love with him but just confused or whatever.

but no, i just didn't want to be with him.

[Junket]

Sounds like a highschool relationship.