Abusive husband, crazy family, and a boyfriend...please help!!

[Lilalo]

Edited sorry

[Lilalo]

Edited sorry

[Ariadne]

Go to him. What kind of messed up family do you have that would tell you to go back to a man that pushes you around? Wtf...

[MerryH]

I do hope that people won't be too harsh when they respond. You clearly are sad and scared.

I can't condone cheating on your husband, but you know that it's wrong so I'm not going to further chastise you about that.

What's more important is that your husband is abusive and that it's really, really sad that you don't have your family's support. Maybe they don't realize the full extent of what filth he is. Have you told them that he chokes you and all that? You don't need for them to agree with your decisions, anyway. Do what's best for yourself. You've got to get away from that abuse, no matter what anyone thinks.

You're not crazy, you don't need forgiveness just yet, you're not a terrible person.

[vashti]

I disagree with the previous post. I think you DO have some serious mental health issues, based on the first 2/3 of your post (I couldn't finish reading it - it was way too long). I think you should stay away from ALL men (and your crazy family) until you get some serious counseling... maybe a year or so. If you don't, you will continue your pattern of tolerating outrageous behavior, and indulging in it yourself.

[Applesauce]

Just be yourself

[Lilalo]

I disagree with the previous post. I think you DO have some serious mental health issues, based on the first 2/3 of your post (I couldn't finish reading it - it was way too long). I think you should stay away from ALL men (and your crazy family) until you get some serious counseling... maybe a year or so. If you don't, you will continue your pattern of tolerating outrageous behavior, and indulging in it yourself.

I guess I should have added...I have already been in therapy since before I left my husband...I have no disorders, just a tough decision that I'm incapable of making.

[VincenzoG91]

It took a lot of effort to get yourself into such a dramatic mess. I agree with Vashti that you need to take some time out and figure out what's wrong with you, because you keep making really bad decisions. Porn? That's trivia compared to your husband beating you. And you married him after just one year of dating, despite knowing that he was verbally and physically abusive? That was a big mistake. Cheating on an abuser also seems like a bad idea, you should have gotten divorced first. When are you going to grow up and take responsibility for your life? You can't keep screwing up like this.

[Petit Papillon]

Your parents are terrible. If some piece of shit hit and abuse my daughter in any way I would go and kick his ****ing ass!!Leave your "husband" and find out what's impoprtant for you. Don't care what other think, this is your life .

[MerryH]

I disagree with the previous post. I think you DO have some serious mental health issues, based on the first 2/3 of your post (I couldn't finish reading it - it was way too long). I think you should stay away from ALL men (and your crazy family) until you get some serious counseling... maybe a year or so. If you don't, you will continue your pattern of tolerating outrageous behavior, and indulging in it yourself.

That's fair, she may have some mental health issues, but when I said she's not crazy, I was referring to this:

If I'm really crazy then I owe my h a huge apology and maybe he can forgive me

[Applesauce]

Petit Papillon says:

"Your parents are terrible. If some piece of shit hit and abuse my daughter in any way I would go and kick his ****ing ass!!"

lettuce be real here. You don't have the balls to fight a man. Maybe with a group of your guy friends holding him back but not one-on-one. And even if you did throw the first punch, if he actually wanted to hurt you he would put you in the hospital. Too many action flicks with women in lead roles have fooled girls into believing they can kick men's asses, lol

[Iliveinoblivion]

I have to say first that, as a man I would never understand a man hitting a woman. That´s being a real faggot and any man would confirm that. Second, I´ve always wonder why some women inherently or unconsciously would want to be with guys like that, guys that treat them terrible and that shove them around. It´s inacceptable!! Do you want to live? Do you want to be alive? Do you know most men that kill their lovers started just shoving them around? He WILL NEVER STOP PUSHING YOU AND SHOVING YOU AROUND UNTIL HE KILLS YOU. Those guys FYI never, ever change. Sorry about the news but I´ve seen it many times. The day a guy lay a hand on a woman that´s the day she has to give up and walk away and start a new life.

Also, don´t forget that very often, girls that cheat on their lovers is because they got pushed to do that. I sympathize with your confusion and if you ended up sleeping with your new bf is because your heart asks you to do so, your mistake was not finish your current relationship first and, it´s probable cause as well but I can see any girl doing the same, so don´t worry, you´re just too weak to walk away from the abusive guy. You wrote he was driving all heart broken around the neighborhood. Right there I can see you feel sorry for him, and d´you know what? That´s the card many abusive husbands and boyfriends play. They, automatically, if they don´t want to be alone they make you feel pity about them but, do you think that had he someone else to be with in that moment, do you think that he would driving around the neighborhood looking for you?

Just follow your heart for the other guy and, as an strong advice: Don´t forget your husband WILL NEVER STOP ABUSING YOU!

[Lilalo]

Your parents are terrible. If some piece of shit hit and abuse my daughter in any way I would go and kick his ****ing ass!!Leave your "husband" and find out what's impoprtant for you. Don't care what other think, this is your life .

Would you still feel that way if your son in law called you everyday and after admitting what he did begged you for ideas on how to win your daughter back? And everytime he was sad he called you and cried?

My mom didn't like him when we got married. But she does now.

[Ariadne]

Would you still feel that way if your son in law called you everyday and after admitting what he did begged you for ideas on how to win your daughter back? And everytime he was sad he called you and cried?

If he admitted to laying hands on my child (if I had one)? Uh... hell yeah. Any parent worth their weight would.

[MerryH]

Would you still feel that way if your son in law called you everyday and after admitting what he did begged you for ideas on how to win your daughter back? And everytime he was sad he called you and cried?

My mom didn't like him when we got married. But she does now.

You mom falls for the same bullshit excuses and promises that you do. He's probably very good at manipulating people. Going to your mom with problems is a way to get everyone on his side and make you feel like you're wrong for wanting to leave.