How to politely tell a man "I'm not interested"

**lyle0729** · 09-10-10, 02:07 PM

I have a huge problem with men hitting on me all the time. Now, I'm not saying I'm the "hottest thing on earth", but getting hit on constantly can be so irritably frustrating. I guess "I should feel blessed", but sometimes I've actually had to LEAVE parties and get-together's less than an hour in because I feel so harrassed. This has obviously caused some serious issues in my relationships, and I just want it to stop.

I can detect very quickly if he's on to me. Most often, he is kind and polite, but I don't want to call him out by saying "I have a boyfriend" or "I'm not interested" before he even gets the chance of confess his interest in me. And its not in my favor to say something rude (though that's my easiest resort) if he fancies me in good faith, with absolutely no bad intentions. If I do end up telling him that I do have a boyfriend, and he's STILL on to me, that would be my exception for when I will say something a bit snarky.

So gentlemen, I'd like to know in your point of view, what would be the most fair way to tell a man I am uninterested?

**WICKED THOUGHTS** · 09-10-10, 03:01 PM

Well, you should wear a ring. When ur at a party dnt flirt unintenionaly, dnt give the guy a chance to one on one convo and if u do? Have a firm no smily face or sexy voice or just dnt shower. lol

**vashti** · 09-10-10, 03:54 PM

Based on experience, I doubt a ring would help, but why are you waiting until they confess interest before mentioning the boyfriend? It sounds like you ARE getting a bit of a kick out of the attention.

**teel** · 09-10-10, 05:15 PM

You can bring up your boyfriend casually, for example someone is hitting on you and saying he likes your eyes, you can say for ex. 'My boyfriend also thinks it's my best feature.' Or just start taking your bf to the parties too...

Also as far as I'm concerned (can't say this for all men, but I think most are sensitive to it), body language is very important. As Wicked Thoughts said above, don't flirt unintentionally. Your mind must be set on 'I don't want this man' and your body will follow.

**Only-virgins** · 09-10-10, 06:09 PM

Oh boohoo what a freaking problem. Everyone is hitting on me. Come back when it is rape.

**doppelgaenger** · 09-10-10, 07:05 PM

If you don't want men to approach you, just write "bitch" on your forehead with red lipstick.

**xxazurexx** · 09-10-10, 10:21 PM

Tell him you are a lesbo. Sharp gets rid of them.

**xxazurexx** · 09-10-10, 10:23 PM

Originally Posted by Only-virgins

Oh boohoo what a freaking problem. Everyone is hitting on me. Come back when it is rape.

She's likely to be imagining half of it and thinks that because men approach it automatically means they want her.

**lyle0729** · 10-10-10, 04:23 AM

Originally Posted by vashti

Based on experience, I doubt a ring would help, but why are you waiting until they confess interest before mentioning the boyfriend? It sounds like you ARE getting a bit of a kick out of the attention.

Would I be mean if I DON"T wait until he confesses his interest? I guess that's my concern that "I don't want to be mean" or make him feel awkward. What do you suggest that I say? And, no, I can assure you that I'm not getting a kick out of it.

Originally Posted by vashti

Oh boohoo what a freaking problem. Everyone is hitting on me. Come back when it is rape.

Wow that's offensive. Any woman would understand that getting hit on can feel really violating, whether it is once, twice, or a million times.

As for the the rest of the offensive posts, I sincerely apologize if I come off as arrogant because that is not the case at all. After reading my post, I can see where you're getting the idea from. My issue is that it really does interfere with my relationship, and I hate to be mean, so I'm just looking for a more light-hearted way of saying I'm not interested rather than "writing bitch over my forehead with red lipstick".

**Gribble** · 10-10-10, 04:34 AM

Originally Posted by xxazurexx

Tell him you are a lesbo. Sharp gets rid of them.

Don't tell him that unless you want him to start hitting on you and the girl next to you. Lesbian = threesome to a lot of men.

**blent** · 10-10-10, 05:13 AM

Not much you can do... Try to wear very casual clothing. When he starts talking to you, try to bring your boyfriend up very casually, like: "oh yeah, my boyfriend loves that show!" You also need to remember that when those guys see you at the party or a club or wherever it is that you are, they will probably assume you're up for grabs because they don't see you coming with a guy.

**Spoonandfork** · 10-10-10, 05:47 AM

what is so hard about telling guys "sorry, I'm not interested. I have a boyfriend?" It seems communication is becoming a lost art

**all alone** · 10-10-10, 05:55 AM

Yeah, just slip in the casual comment about the boyfriend when appropriate. I know that if I am meeting people for the first time and I hear that, you stay friendly and polite, but move you attention on to the next woman. That should get rid of all the nice well meaning guys such as myself, but there will still be people pursing regardless.. if you seem them keep flirting, then simply avoid 1 on 1 situations, excuse yourself and go see other friends, etc.

**Agape** · 10-10-10, 01:24 PM

How about this radical idea

you say "I'm not interested" in a kind and polite way . . . remember, most of communication not what you say, but, how you say it.

Don't feel bad about being direct and honest, maybe even add, "I'm sorry . . . " or "No thank you .. . " or "Thanks, but. ."

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How to politely tell a man "I'm not interested"

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