Long term boyfriend is secretly making new female friends

[marsanchez]

My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 3 years and recently he has been getting text messages and phone calls from a few girls I know nothing about. When I asked who they were, he lied and said one of them (we will call her Becky) was a friend of his from years ago, the other (Jennifer) he said whats the big deal. When I am with him and they call, he does not say he is with me, he will say what he is doing and where he is at however he will omit me from the scene. I have never met them. The other day, we were at Johns (his friend) house, that was my first time there, his friend John took my boyfriend aside (out of earshot-or so he thought) and was talking to my boyfriend about the girl my boyfriend had brought over to Johns house to hang out. He never mentioned this to me and I remember that night, he was MIA, I could not reach him all night. I don't think I want to be in a relationship with someone I have to explain right and wrong too. Help me approach this without me seeming like I am over reacting.

[TablesandChairs]

You're not over-reacting, you're under-reacting. He's either cheating on you or thinking about cheating on you.

[Joanna_L]

hmm well I wouldn't really say those are tell tale signs he's cheating...
there's nothing wrong with guys having girl friends..

[michelle23]

Ya your under reacting. He IS cheating on you. Break up with him and stop letting him walk all over you. He either thinks your too stupid to figure it out or he doesn't care if you do coz he couldn't make it more obvious if he tried.

IMO it doesn't really matter how long you have been together. Once this shady shit starts, its time to leave.

[Wakeup]

Just tell him that when you're in an exclusive relationship with a guy, you expect him to stop hanging out with other women and that because he's not doing that, then you're unable to continue in a relationship with him. Wish him luck in his adventures and then with head held high.. walk away from him. He's not ready to be in a relationship and be loyal to anyone... not just you.

There is lots wrong with having female friends if you continue to hang out one-on-one with them, keep them separate from the primary partner and are sketchy in your behaviour with them. It's very disrespectful to hang out one on one with your opposite sex friend, its particularly disrespectful and inappropriate if you've never met her.

[michelle23]

Its even worse if you have met her in some cases.. a guy at work is too friendly with a girl we used to work with. She is now "best friends" with his long term gf acting all innocent but she was caught in bed with him recently.. its nearly always someone you know but least suspect.. she will smile to her face, sip cocktails with her, go shopping etc etc and then go hop in bed with her bf