am i an idiot?

[Becks87]

A few months ago a nice, cute guy asked me out. He was kinda shy from where i knew him, but he would always discuss problems with me and give me advice.

Anyway, he asked me out, and i said no because im about to turn 23 in a month, hes turning 22 in june. This was back in september. He then defriended me on facebook, and other than a "merry christmas" text, he hasnt talked to me at all.

A few days ago I saw him at a grocery store, he was talking to somebody else. I really wanted to go over and talk to him, but i didnt get the courage to.

I sent him a message over facebook saying how i missed him and wanted to still be friends. He responded with

"I defriended you on facebook and havent really talked to you because i think you either lied to me about not wanting to go out, or because you are kinda immature. I dont hate you, or think you suck, or whatever, but your reason was very hurtful.

I never really looked at you as some super adult person in comparison to me. In fact i feel there are some things that are very childish about you.

However I was interested in taking you out to dinner because i feel you have great qualities about yourself. Your quick witted, which makes you fun to be around. Your a smart girl with aspirations and goals, and youre a hard worker. Add that with the fact i am pretty sure you and I were pretty much the only 2 people our age at the meetings who were working every weeknight till 11 and going to school the next day at 7 am, and i was interested in taking you out to dinner.

If you want to be friends because i dont make you feel good (although i dont know how you would know that due to our limited interaction), or because theres no physical attraction, or something like that, then by all means im completely fine with that. Id love to get lunch once in a while or something. But if its because you have some elitist attitude over people one year and some change older than you, and you dont take me seriously, then were we even really friends?"

I am really convinced that came from his heart, and not made up. I do think i hurt him badly. But i just dont really know what to respond with. I mean i do think hes cute. Hes smart too. But the age thing just keeps coming back to me. God this is frustrating.

[QueenofCorona]

Why does the age gap bother you? Is it because what others would think? Its not like its a creepy age difference where you look like a pedofile. He definitely sounds mature enough for a 21 year old to write that all out. Figure out why its bothering you and let him know why. It obviously bothered him enough to where he'd take time to write out that long reply to you.

[qwertz]

To cut out the bullshit, yes you are.

[sookie6]

I think you've missed a good catch here!

He seems surprisingly evolved for a young guy his age..I would date him!

[lhn]

Becks, do you consider yourself as immature or kinda up on a pedestal? If not, then you should.

Jk's aside... get on a date with him and get over yourself. 1yr difference.... pfffffffffft

[girl68]

I think you miss having a guy who liked you.

[TheWizard]

I'm with everyone else here, your reasoning is a bit baffling. Get to know him first and then decide based on that.

[vashti]

So far, it's unanimous. You totally blew it. To be honest, he sounds MORE mature than you do.

[Wonder87]

im kinda curious to hear what happened. I was in a similar situation a few years ago (only i was the guy).

[Becks87]

sigh...i screwed this one up huh. Think its too late to try it?

[girl68]

Yep it's too late. You just want to be liked, and he was the only one around. Now he's not, now you're missing it. Notice I say missing IT not HIM.

Get on with life. Find a guy who is your age. I have a feeling that even if he gave you another chance you'd dump his ass in heartbeat because a older more mature man came along and fancied you. Which means that you would have just been with him because you didn't want to be alone, and that's uncool.

[Gigabitch]

That's not an age gap. It's an age blip. It's so small it's almost meaningless. Are you seriously telling us that you blew this guy off because he was in fourth grade when you were in fifth grade?

YOU should ask HIM out to dinner, and pay for it.

[Becks87]

i dont know, its just the shyness caused me to look at him younger an immature. He would only ask me things like "how is school going" or "see that new movie". Ever since he wrote me that ive changed how i view him.

[girl68]

you don't know what? neither of us asked you anything. I know that you don't know what you want. I know that he *does*. I think you should let him be.

[IncognitoSir]

Yep it's too late. You just want to be liked, and he was the only one around. Now he's not, now you're missing it. Notice I say missing IT not HIM.

Get on with life. Find a guy who is your age. I have a feeling that even if he gave you another chance you'd dump his ass in heartbeat because a older more mature man came along and fancied you. Which means that you would have just been with him because you didn't want to be alone, and that's uncool.

damn girl! you hit that one right on the head, lol. I agree.