I became friends with this guy in november, we started dating in february, and we were in a committed relationship. We both live in the same city. He's 28 and I'm 20.
Our relationship has always been strong and went well. We love each other and care about each other deeply... but When I noticed that he was being a lil flirtacious on twitter, I decided to text him from my friends phone. At first it was a silly little game to reassure myself, but it turned into a lot more, and it went on for about 3 months. He suspected it was me after the first month or so but I denied it and lied to his face saying that it wasnt me. So he caught me on thursday and told me I needed serious help but that he would be there for me if I went and got it, and he even offered to pay for it. He then broke up with me saturday. I was really frustrated and decided to go to the hospital because I was at my house and my rooommates were having a party with a lot of alcohol weed and hard drugs so I didn't wanna be around it. I went into the hospital so that I wouldnt do anything stupid and be in a bad environment (I have slight issues with depression anger and low self esteem).... I stayed there from saturday to monday. I had my dad call my boyfiend to tell him where I was and all of that, and my bf told my dad that he loved me but he was disappointed in me for lying to him for 3 months. So I got out monday and left him a voicemail to let him know I was going home with my parents and would be staying there until monday. I took some time off to continue to clear my head and get my emotions in check, and then I texted him wednesday. He wrote back saying "i dont even know who you are, ur nothing but a pathological liar, I don't have time for it and I cant trust a person like you... find someone ur own age to play them games" I said goodnight because I didnt wanna start an argument with him or further aggravate him. The next day we were texting and i explained to him that since being out of the hospital I have been 10 x better, my emotions are in check, my skin cleared up, I lost weight, and I had been going running... i told him that if he wasnt willing to be a supportive friend to stop talking to me because I wanted nothing but improvement. He then wrote back explaining that he has been there for me the whole time but that I broke my promise of saying I was going to change. I explained to him that it was something out of my control and that I went to the hospital and started therapy so that I could actually begin to change. I explained that I have been honest with myself and with everybody around me and that I finally started taking care of myself ( I always put everyone else before me). I explained that I understood that we were broken up right now and that I want him to see my changes for himself, not listen to me texting him or calling him about it. He said OK, and then he asked me when I would be back to our hometown. He made a joke or two with me, which to me is a good sign, because he was showing his sense of humor and being more open towards me.... today I sent him a picture of myself showing the weight I have lost and he said that I was looking good and that he was proud of me. I said thanks, and told him that if he goes out tonight to be safe. I plan to leave it at that until he decides to contact me and if I dont hear from him by monday I will call him after my therapy..
I'm very upset with myself for doing what I did.... I did it out of insecurity and fear of losing him because I have been done real dirty in the past.... I never lied to him about anything else but now that I came out from the hospital and see myself changing and having a better attitude, I really hope that he can see that in me. I don't know if we will get back together, but I really want to. I love him a lot and he loves me but it all depends on if he is willing to give me a second chance to prove myself. I'm kinda hurt because he saw me as someone serious, and he told me we had a future together... and although I am not at that point in my life yet, he did tell me he wanted to have kids with me...