Did I do the right thing?

[RangersGirl]

Hi, I'm just new to the forum. Just joined because I'm finding my break-up really hard to take and thought some advice/opinions might help.

I'm only 18 so I know that it might seem silly compared to other break-ups people on here have went through. It's a long story, so I'll cut it short lol.

Basically I was with my ex for around 8months. We spent atleast 3/4 day together a week, and would often stay together for a week or two at a time so I don't know what to do with myself since finishing it. He texted his 'friends' alot but I never thought anything of it, the way he acted was as if I was everything to him and he would never cheat. So around 2months ago I start getting suspicious because he's texting more and more, he went out to the shop and left his phone and I read his texts (I know I shouldn't have, although he read through mine several times.) There was texts from him saying things like "I miss you x x x" "I do want to be with you x" "Are you pregnant? x x" and texts from this girl saying "Do you want to stay with me tonight? x x" "I love you so much x x x" and lots more. I didn't want to confront my boyfriend about this as I knew it would cause an argument and I was terrified of losing him, so for weeks I ignored it. It all became too much though and eventully I asked him about it, he denied everything so I finished things with him. About 10 days later he phoned me asking me to meet up, when we met up he was crying and begged me to take him back. Eventully he admitted to the texting but promised it would never happen again. So I said to him if he met up with this girl while I was with him, and told her to her face that he was with me and wasn't interested in her then I would take him back, and he did it.

Everything was ok, then I was with him just last week and I saw him text to another girl (when I was lying beside him) "I do really like you, i cant wait to see you tomorrow x x x". So in the morning he went off to work, and I went home. I phoned him and told him it was over because I knew he had been messing around, his reply was "Don't ever accuse me of cheating, your due a smack." Later on he apoligised for saying that, and said he loved me and would never cheat.

The fact that he can text girls saying the things he did, while I'm lying sleeping or watching a film beside him is what hurts the most. He's 5 years older than me and was always really controlling over me, and he's said things like he thought I was cheating and that's why he was texting all these girls. I didn't cheat and didn't give him any reason to think I was.

He's been texting me telling me that he loves me, wants to be with me, misses me and saying that I don't know what I'm putting him through and that he's lost without me. He even said I was caused him to overdose.

Is he just filling my head with rubbish? Did he ever care about me? Did I do the right thing by finishing it?

I am really missing him, but I don't even know what I miss about him.

[liammc1]

Im a newbie here too...but Id say you have to follow your heart, look at everything hes done to you, would he do it again? Is it worth putting you and him through it again to find out what it would be like? Do you love him?

[RangersGirl]

Im a newbie here too...but Id say you have to follow your heart, look at everything hes done to you, would he do it again? Is it worth putting you and him through it again to find out what it would be like? Do you love him?

To be honest I wouldn't put it past him to do it again... I feel as if if I go back to him, he will know he's got away with what he did, and then do it again because he thinks I'll forgive him.

I feel like I love him. I know it sounds stupid because I'm only 18 but I feel like I couldn't ever feel the same way for another guy. I suppose that's because he's been my first love.

The fact that he told another girl he loved her when he was going out with me, makes me think that now he could be seeing girl and just playing me along. I don't understand him atall.

Maybe I just need to give it a couple of months and see how I feel then. I've spoke to him most days when he's been apoligising and telling me that he will change. I don't know if talking to him is just making things worse though.

[vashti]

Of course you did the right thing by dumping him, unless you are willing to allow him to have other relationships on the side while dating you.

You feel bad because he was your first, but you will get through this. Don't ever settle for a lying, cheating guy. If you do, that is exactly what you will get.

[s_b]

You did do the right thing. I know it hurts like hell but stay strong and let this loser go.